Pinkie Pie has to watch Sugarcube Corner while the cakes are out of town, but the pregnant mare has her own agenda while the shop is empty and has invited some very special friends.

Fourth part of the MLP story commission series for  Nikaro

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Like she always did in the morning, Pinkie Pie bounced gleefully down the middle of the street in Ponyville, her curly mane and tail bobbing with her trot like fluffy pink clouds brought down to ground level. Of course, as obvious it was to everyone she passed, Pinkie’s trot was something closer to a waddle, as her late-term pregnant belly hung like a ripe fruit below her and pushed her hips apart. Her back sagged slightly under the weight of her middle and it swayed with her movements, but if the mare was uncomfortable, she didn’t show it. Her joyful smile had grown alongside her rounded middle and she seemed all the more chipper the bigger her belly grew. This seemed strange to the older mares with children of their own, none of which remembered their pregnancies very fondly past the middle months. Of course, just about everything regarding Pinkie was strange.

She wasn’t quite a morning pony and it took a lot for her to get up before noon, but her jaunty canters through town did much to improve her mood. Ever the extrovert, strolling through the center of Ponyville and chatting to everyone she came across did wonders for her energy; once she was sufficiently socialized, Pinkie was bright-eyed and cheerful and ready to greet the morning with her smile.
“Gooooooooood Morning!” Pinkie paused to wave at a group of mares standing outside a cafe and blearily sipping coffee. They glanced up at her, blinking in the morning daylight, before smiling politely and waving back. As Pinkie hobbled past awkwardly, they stole prolonged glances at her advanced pregnancy that might have left a smaller pony bedridden.

“What, is she carrying a calf?” one of them remarked in a mumble.
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” another snorted disdainfully. “You’ve heard how she sleeps around.”
The third mare, irritated at the judgmental bickering of her coworkers, drained her cup silently before leaving them.

“Good Morning!” Pinkie chirped to another mare closer to her own age as she passed. The unicorn, Lyra, was puffy-eyed and had a bad case of bed-mane, but stopped to smile at her.
“Morning, Pinkie,” she sniffed, using her magic to levitate her coffee to her mouth in a mug with ‘I Heart Manehattan’ printed on it.
“You don’t look so good!” Pinkie said, worriedly as she cocked her head and peered at the unicorn. “Are you getting sick?”
“I wish. I could use the days off,” Lyra sighed. “Just had a long weekend.” She cocked her head to the side at Pinkie’s swollen belly. “How’s the foal?”
“She’s getting hyuuuge! I can’t even see my hooves anymore!” the energetic mare shouted, her voice echoing farther than she’d intended. “I’m almost too big to get out my front door! I need to use the garage!” She giggled at this, which seemed odd to Lyra as the experience sounded awful to her.
“You’re getting pretty far along,” she nodded, sipping from her coffee. “Should you be out walking around so much?”
“Oh, I’m on maternity leave. I’m just stopping by work to help out the Cakes.”

“Maternity leave…” the unicorn sighed, enviously peering at Pinkie’s pregnant sides. “That sounds pretty good right now. Maybe I should have a foal just for the break…”
“Oh, no, it’s pretty boring,” Pinkie said, her cheerful tone not matching her words. “I kind of hate it actually! So I’m happy to get any reason to get out of the house, yknow?”
“…Uh, well. That’s not fun,” Lyra blinked, unsure how to respond.
“Nope! The opposite of fun!” Pinkie giggled. Her eyes flitted to a nearby clock on the outside of a building and she shuffled her hooves in the dirt. “Oh geeze, I gotta get to Sugarcube Corner before 10 and my baby belly’s making me walk slow. Have fun at work, Lyra!”
“Thanks Pinkie! I won’t!” the unicorn called as she watched Pinkie hobble off awkwardly around her pregnant stomach. Lyra paused to watch her go, thinking back on the joke she’d made about having a foal of her own. She’d never really considered the idea before, but leave it to Pinkie Pie to make something as unpleasant as pregnancy look…almost fun.

“G’Morning!” Pinkie waved to every pony she recognized as she continued to hurry through town, her belly inevitably slowing her down. She could feel little squirming movements from the baby inside her, but no kicks to indicate that she was awake yet. Pinkie’s unborn daughter would be kicking like Applejack in just a few hours, so she enjoyed the moments of peace (even though she enjoyed feeling the baby’s movements just as much).
“G’Morn!” Pinkie said to the vendors setting up their stands in the outdoor market. They waved and smiled back happily, knowing in the back of their minds that once Pinkie Pie’s pregnancy cravings struck, many of them would be going home with half their stock sold before noon.
“Pinkie! Pinkie!” called a mare from the end of the row, her orange coat not dissimilar to Applejack’s. “I need you to try something for me.”
“That’s what I’m here for!” Pinkie said, licking her lips in anticipation. The mare smiled before ducking behind her stand and taking out a plate of small, orange pastries wrapped in paper and set them down on the edge of her stand.

“So what I was going for was a sort of…carrot croissant with a semi-sweet glaze drizzled across the-”
Pinkie didn’t wait for the mare to finish talking before ducking and instantly snapping up one of the croissants in her jaws. She chewed it for a moment, idly rubbing her belly with a hoof as if to test the foal’s opinion on it, then swallowed.
“The texture is too chewy for a croissant, it needs to be more flaky. The carrot taste is already semi-sweet, so the glaze needs to be stronger to balance out that flavor.” Pinkie paused and smacked her lips, mulling the taste around in her mouth for a moment longer. The mare waited eagerly for an answer; she was one of the few that knew Pinkie Pie had one of the most refined and sensitive palates in town. When it came to food, especially sweets, she was never wrong.
“I want to taste it with some…” she paused and made an odd expression. “…BBQ sauce?”
“Um…I think that…might be a pregnancy craving,” the mare offered with a guilty smile. Pinkie stared at her blankly for a minute before collapsing into giggles.
“Yep! I think you’re right!” Pinkie glanced back at her bulging middle and rocked her body from side-to-side. “The baby wants me to try all kinds of crazy stuff!” She glanced back up at the mare, whose name she couldn’t remember but knew that it involved the word ‘carrot’ in some way. “Use fresh carrots, add a few less eggs to the dough, bake at a shorter length, but hotter, and add more sugar to your glaze. Then you’ll make me and my baby belly happy!”
“Thanks Pinkie,” the mare said, pondering the advice.
“I gotta go, find me when you’ve changed the recipe! Unless I’m giving birth! Then maybe leave me alone for a little while!” The cheery, pregnant pony grabbed another of the croissants in her teeth before waddling off in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.

Pinkie tried to hop like she had a habit of doing sometimes, but found she was too big to make it a few inches off the ground and simply resorted to playfully swishing her tail behind her while waddling with the speed of a lazy duck. There was a gap in buildings between the main street of town and the Cake’s bakery, leaving an open space at the end with no one else around. Without anyone else to talk to, Pinkie resorted to striking up conversation with the only other pony nearby: her unborn foal.
“I had a dream about you last night!” Pinkie said to her baby as she waddled along. “It started with you and me in the bed and you were already a little filly already and talking about something, but I couldn’t understand because it was a dream, yknow? But I heard your voice and you were talking and I don’t know why but I knew it was you in the dream and it sounded so real!” She stopped in the middle of the clearing and frowned. “Then…then I dreamed the house was on fire and we had to put it out with milk and Rarity was there and need help with her…with her carpets? She needed her carpets cleaned but we couldn’t help because the house was on fire and she got mad about it?” Pinkie paused before shrugging and glancing back at her belly.
“Maybe I shouldn’t eat too much leftover candy corn before bed,” she mused before continuing on and chatting happily to the foal in her belly.

“G’Mor!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she waddled into Sugarcube Corner, feeling the sides of her belly brush against the doorframe. If she got any bigger, she wondered if she’d be able to fit her pregnant body through the door, but the thought of her foal-heavy belly getting stuck was more funny than worrying to her, so she laughed it off and glanced around the empty bakery.
“…Hello?” She called again to the silent house. Pinkie felt the boards creak under her gravid body as she trotted farther inside. “We’re here!” With a swish of her tail, she batted the door closed behind her and made sure the bell above the frame chimed to alert them of her presence. Pinkie’s ears perked up at the sound of pounding hooves thundering down the stairs in the back. The frazzled shape of Mr. Cake stumbled down onto the landing, wearing a hat Pinkie had never seen before, and galloped toward the kitchen behind the counter.

“HiPinkieThanksforcomingGiveusafewminutes!” He blurted out over his shoulder before disappearing around the corner. Pinkie rocked in place patiently for a few minutes, gently stroking her belly with the side of her leg as she felt the foal begin to wake up and gently poke around inside her. Suddenly, an intoxicating aroma wafted in from the kitchen, one that made Pinkie’s pupils dilate as soon as it hit her nostrils. She scrambled as fast as her pregnant body could move toward the counter and leaned against it, her belly shifting heavily toward her back legs, and tried to steal a peek into the kitchen.
“What is that!?” Pinkie breathed to Mr. Cake as he left the kitchen. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth like a dog’s and even her foal was kicking excitedly, as if she could smell it as well.
“Something new we put together,” Mr. Cake said as he hung his apron up on a hook on the wall.
“You didn’t happen to make a baker’s dozen, did you?” Pinkie asked, bouncing in place eagerly. “Or have a few extras? Or even an extra dozen?” She slammed a hoof down on the counter and barked, “C’mon, I’m eating for two here! Gimme a taste!”

“Uh-uh, these are for a wedding tomorrow,” Mr. Cake said, sternly. “Every single one is accounted for and it’s a huge order. No snacking.”
“Not even for me?” Pinkie asked, widening her eyes sympathetically. She sighed and conspicuously glanced down at her belly. “Not even to feed my baby? She needs the energy, after all…”
“Then eat an apple for something, these aren’t for you,” Mr. Cake huffed before hurrying upstairs. On the way down, the plump shape of Mrs. Cake passed him, her apron missing and replaced with a pair of saddlebags.
“Oh, Pinkie! Good, you’re here,” Mrs. Cake smiled, less hectic than her husband. She glanced up the stairs and shook her head with a sigh. “Our train doesn’t leave for another two hours, but he wants us to be there as early as we can.”
“Hi Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie asked, hopping away from the counter and waddling up to her. “Can I eat some of whatever you’re making for that wedding? Please? Please?”

“Oh no, it must be torture for a pregnant mare to have to sit there and smell that,” Mrs. Cake said. She paused, then added a firm, “No.”
“You can make more! I don’t even know what it is, but they smell so good!” Pinkie pleaded. She suddenly jumped in surprise and glanced down at her rounded belly as it bounced and shifted from the movement of the foal inside. “See? Even my baby wants a taste! You can’t take candy from a baby can you?”
“Pinkie Pie, if this was any other order, I’d stay and make some for you and your foal,” Mrs. Cake sighed. “But we’re really in a bind here. The whole reason you’re here to watch is to make sure they don’t burn. We’d close the shop, otherwise.”
Pinkie threw back her head and groaned for almost thirty seconds without interruption, then stomped a hoof on the ground and pouted before finally relenting.

“Fffffffffffine.” she grumbled. “Put you can’t put a preggers Pinkie in a bakery and expect her not to eat something.”
“I made a bag of donuts yesterday, just for you,” Mrs. Cake winked. “I’ve been right where you are, I know what it’s like.”
“Oooohhhhh…Donuts.” Pinkie sighed, her mouth already tasting it. “…Okay, deal. As long as it keeps my squirmy kicky little baby happy.” She giggled and raised a leg to get a better look at her low-hanging stomach. “She’s kicking again!”
“Tell you what, if you do a good job today, I’ll make a whole new batch of the new desserts just for you when we get back. Sound good?”
“Yes!” Pinkie squealed, trying to hop in the air but only stumbling under the weight of her pregnant belly. “Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!” She paused, then asked, “Uh…what are they?”
“We…don’t have a name yet. We just kind of threw them together by accident and they came out tasty.”
“Call them Pinkie Bites.”

“No,” Mrs. Cake said with a polite smile. “How are you feeling, Pinkie? You’re getting bigger! Can’t be too much longer.”
“I’m pretty ginormously preggo right now, huh?” Pinkie giggled as she wiggled her fertile body.
“You’re glowing, dear. You look perfectly healthy,” Mrs. Cake smiled proudly. In a way, Pinkie was like a ‘practice daughter’ before the Cakes had children of their own. She couldn’t help but feel sentimental about seeing the mare so heavy with a foal of her own.
“Thanks! It’s been kind of fun being all knocked up!” Pinkie paused, then added, “…Well, maybe not all the time. Throwing up with all the morning sickness wasn’t fun.” Her expression fell as her poofy hair seemed to droop down the side of her head. “And not being able to sleep. And the cramps. And having to pee all the time. And not being able to eat as much candy. And not being able to sleep on my stomach anymore.” Mrs. Cake blinked in surprise as Pinkie’s mane flopped around her face as yet another mood swing hit her.

Suddenly, the sound of small hooves thundering down the stairs behind them made Pinkie Pie instantly stand up straight and brought a bright smile back to her face. The young Cake twins, Pound and Pumpkin, came tumbling down the stairs one after another. The pegasus Pound fluttered in the air as best he could while the unicorn Pumpkin trailed sparks from her horn as the pair of them darted straight past their mother.
“Aunt Pinkie!” they both squealed in unison. Pinkie waddled forward to greet them with a bright grin on her face, her movement impeded by her belly. She reared up on her hind legs and snatched Pound out of the air as he giggled in delight and nuzzled him on the nose affectionately. After letting him go into the air like a dove, the pregnant mare dropped heavily down on all four legs and leaned down to greet Pumpkin with a light peck on the cheek.

“Goooood morning, Baby Cakes!” Pinkie shouted as the twins settled down in front of her.
“We’re not babies!” Pound protested with a pout.
“You are to me!” Pinkie squealed as she gathered both of them in a shared hug. Mrs. Cake watched from the side, smiling at the ease with which Pinkie Pie handled children.
“Why are you so fat?” Pound said with a barely-concealed chuckle as he went to Pinkie’s sides and gazed up at the round bulge of her stomach towering above him. It was a question he asked every time he saw her and she always responded with the same answer.
“’Cause I’m having a baby, dummy!” Pinkie shouted back, her eyes sparkling in glee.
“Make her move again!” Pumpkin demanded as she stood on her hind legs and leaned against Pinkie’s gravid middle.
“I can’t make her move, she does that on her own,” Pinkie explained while the twins fawned over her foal-heavy stomach.
“Were we ever in our mama’s tummy?” Pound asked, leaning against Pinkie’s side and blinking inquisitively up at her.
“Yep! Both of you! I’m only having one foal, though,” Pinkie said. “See, when your mama and papa decided they wanted to have a baby, they both got together and-”

“Oh-kay! That’s enough of that!” Mrs. Cake interrupted. “Have you two packed yet?”
“We’re only gonna be there for one night,” Pound huffed, fluttering his wings impatiently.
“I felt her!” Pumpkin gasped, her horn sparking in excitement as Pinkie’s baby shifted beneath her hooves. “I felt the baby!” Pound, not wanting to miss out, turned and leapt up against Pinkie’s stomach to feel, jamming his small hooves into her sensitive nerves.
“Oof,” Pinkie winced. “That hurts enough from the inside…”
“Don’t rough-house with Pinkie Pie! You have to be gentle.”
“I can rough-house a little bit…” Pinkie huffed, shuffling her hooves on the floor. Just then, Mr. Cake stumbled down the stairs with an enormous suitcase in his teeth. When he set it down, it thundered against the floorboards hard enough to shake Pinkie and the twins across the room.

“C’mon, kids! We gotta go to the station! The train leaves in…” he paused and squinted as he peered at the clock above the counter. “Ninety minutes!”
“We’d better get going before my husband has a heart attack,” Mrs. Cake sighed. She trotted beside Pinkie and shooed her children away from the mare’s pregnant middle. “Alright everyone, let’s go. The baby will still be there tomorrow.” She paused and glanced back at Pinkie Pie, frowning while measuring the size of her belly. “Well…probably.”
“Have fun at…wherever you’re going!” Pinkie waved as the Cake family headed to the door, corralling the twins to follow them. “Me and the foal will take good care of the place!”
“Just take those wedding cakes out of the oven when the timers go off!” Mr. Cake cried out as his wife pushed him out the door. “And don’t. Eat. Any.”
“Have those donuts if you and the baby get too hungry,” Mrs. Cake added, sweetly.
“The donuts. Not the wedding cakes.” Mr. Cake shouted just as Mrs. Cake pulled the door shut behind them, leaving Pinkie Pie alone in the silence of the empty shop.

“Okie dokie!” Pinkie said to herself while licking her lips and rubbing her belly. “Let’s go try one of those wedding cakes!”

She turned and waddled toward the kitchen, her mouth watering as the smell of whatever-they-were drifted around the corner and into her nose. But as she ducked under the counter and stood in the doorway, Pinkie stopped herself and turned around.
“Wait,” she said out loud. “No. The Cakes trust us. They need those cakes for the wedding. If I eat any, they’ll never let me in here again.”
Pinkie winced as her foal began kicking impatiently in her belly.
“I know you want some, stinky, but I can’t let the Cakes down. Even if I am eating for two.”

The pregnant, hungry mare sighed and endured the impatient kicking of her foal as she sat behind the counter and slumped across it, her belly shifting and bouncing underneath her from the activity of her baby. Her expression was flat as she stared across the empty store, aside from the momentary twitch or wince of discomfort as her foal kicked her particularly hard. Pinkie shut her eyes and jammed a bundle of napkins in her nostrils to try not to think about the snacks baking just feet away in the kitchen, but it wasn’t enough to get them out of her head.
After what felt like hours, Pinkie sat up and glanced at the clock to find barely half an hour had passed.

“This is torture!” she shouted to the empty shop while flopping face-down against the counter again. Her foal was worked up into an excited frenzy and seemed to be entertaining herself by poking and prodding her mother’s organs while exploring the space inside the womb.
“Maybe…maybe just looking at them will help,” Pinkie said to herself. “Then I won’t have to try to imagine what they look like.” With a grunt, she hefted her gravid body off the floor and dropped down to her hooves, then glanced around to make sure nobody was coming in any time soon. With a snort, she shot the wadded napkins out of her nose and into a nearby trashcan and shuddered as the delicious scent of the cakes hit her again.
Pinkie tried to watch the sides of her belly as she side-stepped through the empty kitchen. It was easy enough to knock something over at home, but the last thing she wanted to do was break something at work. All five ovens were filled and baking at 425 degrees. Pinkie peered through the glass of the nearest one and saw the silhouetted lumps of…something on the baking sheets.

“I guess I’m not the only one with something in the oven,” Pinkie snorted at her own joke. After pacing between the ovens and trying to figure out which one was the closest to finishing, she found the one at the back only had a few minutes left on the timer.
“I’m just gonna look,” Pinkie told herself as she gripped the oven mitt in her mouth and watched the timer like a bomb was set to go off. “Jutht gonna look. Don’ touch. Don’ eat.”
The timer above the oven rang for half a second before Pinkie Pie flung open the door and gripped the tray with her oven mitt. It steamed as she carried it to the counter to cool, but couldn’t get a good look at what was actually on it. The smell was nothing short of heavenly, though, probably made even better by the pregnancy hormones kicking her appetite into overdrive. Setting down the tray, Pinkie spat the oven mitt to the side and backed away to look down at what she’d been carrying.

“Wwwwooooow...” She sighed, her eyes as wide as saucers and her mouth watering. “They…they…” Pinkie blinked and had a moment of clarity. “They don’t look like cakes. What are they?” She jumped in surprise as the foal turned and kicked two legs against her side. “Oh! I guess you can’t see them, can you?” She giggled, then peered back at the cooking tray with her jaw set.
“Well…they’re…square but also a little round…I can see pecans and chocolate but…caramel and…is that a raisin? No, what is that?…They’re a little like macaroons but…well, they don’t really look like macaroons, never mind. Kind of like round eclairs but not like donuts…” After a frustrated minute, Pinkie groaned and stomped a hoof on the ground. “What are these things and why do they smell so good!?”

After a long while of staring, Pinkie successfully fought the cravings of her pregnancy and slumped away from the tray of ‘things’ without a single one of them disturbed. She grabbed a pillow from a nearby stool and dropped it on the floor behind the counter before sitting on it, the weight of her belly shifting against her thighs as the baby inside it protested against being squished. The mare found the bag of donuts in the cabinet above her and dumped them in a pile on the counter while lazily shoving them in her mouth one-by-one. They were delicious, as always, but compared to the smell of the wedding cakes in the kitchen, they might as well have been made of sawdust.
As Pinkie finished the bag of donuts and was almost ready to fall asleep at the counter, the bell above the door rang loud and bright through the empty shop. Her ears swiveled upright on her head and she sat up with a friendly smile on her face.

“Hiya!” Pinkie greeted with an energetic chirp. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!”
The customers were a group of young colts, four in all, that glanced around nervously as they shuffled inside together. They were maybe a year or two older than Apple Bloom and her classmates, but had likely gone to the same school. Pinkie caught sight of more than a few pimples and shaving scars and heard the awkward, pubescent squeaks in their voices as they talked amongst each other. They huddled together next to the door in a circle, casting nervous glances at the ever-smiling Pinkie on the other side of the counter.

“No, you go first,” one of them said to a short, gray unicorn.
“No way, this wasn’t my idea. This is stupid,” the unicorn protested. “You’re the one that wanted to ask.”
“C’mon, don’t be a wimp, go do it,” said a third colt, an earth pony wearing a new set of braces. The fourth, a pegasus standing off to the side, didn’t say anything and seemed to be subtly hiding under his long mane, fluttering his wings nervously.
After the group of colts bickered with one another for a few more minutes, one of the shoved the short unicorn toward the counter, who shot a glare back at his friend before marching up toward Pinkie Pie.

“Uhh…h-hey.”
“Heya!” Pinkie smiled. “What can I getcha?”
“D-Do…uh…do you ha-have…br-bro-bruh-”
“Bratwurst?” Pinkie suggested. “No, this is a bakery.”
“What?” The colt blinked in confusion. “Uhh…N-No, I mean…brownies. Do you guys have any brownies?”
“Oh! Yep, we got plenty of those! How many?”
“J-just, uh, just one.” The colt swallowed nervously as he stared up at Pinkie. The mare smiled and stood up from her cushion to waddle heavily from one end of the counter to another. She used tongs to grab one of Mrs. Cake’s famous chocolate chip brownies and dropped it into a paper bag. Pinkie huffed as she shuffled back to the register, her legs starting to feel the strain of standing beneath the weight of her pregnancy.
“Here ya go! That’ll be six bits!”
“Six bits?” the colt responded, his anxiety suddenly fading. “For a brownie?”
“They’re really really good brownies,” Pinkie Pie said with a wink.

“Uh…okay,” the colt said, dropping the bag of coins on the counter and taking the brownie. Pinkie hummed happily while she counted out the money into the register, then paused as she watched the colt look back at his friends and silently argue with them. He turned back to Pinkie and jumped as they met eyes. He leaned against the counter and tried to seem cool and nonchalant while setting aside the brownie. “Hey Pinkie Pie…”

“Hey!” Pinkie greeted back.
“So like…how’s it going?”
“Good!”
“Cool…cool…” He paused, then tapped his hooves together anxiously. “S-so like…you’re uhh…you’re gonna have a foal, right?”
“Yep-a-roonie!” Pinkie answered, tapping a hoof against her belly under the counter. “I’m in the family way!”
“Um…okay,” the colt said, confused by the euphemism but moving on. “So like…my friends were wondering…Like, I already knew about it but if you could let them know some…stuff. Y’know, so they aren’t embarrassed or anything.”
“I’ll help if I can!”
“Cool, cool…So like, just for them y’know, can you tell us- I mean my friends…where do babies come from?”
“Oh! That’s easy!” Pinkie Pie said. “From a mommy!”
“Well yeah, duh. But like…how does it get in the mom?”
“From the daddy!”
“Yeah, but how?”
“He puts it there!”
“Yeah but-” the colt blinked up at Pinkie, completely confused. “That’s not…What I’m asking is like…what do you do that puts the baby in the mom?”

“Like I said, it’s the daddy that puts them there.”
“How does he do that?”
“With a seed!”
“A see-” The colt shook his head. “A seed?”
“Uh-huh! He plants a seed in the mommy!”
“You mean like…like a seed seed?”
“Nope! Different kind of seed.”
“What kind of seed, then?”
“A really really really tiny one.”

“I…Uh…I don’t…” The colt turned back to his friends, who stared back at him with complete bafflement on their faces. He huffed and leaned up against the counter, moving closer to Pinkie Pie. “I’m just asking how the baby gets inside the mom, okay? You know what I’m saying?”
“I know what you’re saying!” Pinkie answered with a wink.
“Okay, cool. So…uh…what happens?”

“The daddy plants a teeny tiny seed in a mommy, then that seed grows into a baby until the baby gets too big and needs to come out!”
“No! That’s not-” The unicorn clenched his teeth as sparks flew from hi stubby horn. “I just want to know what you do to get the baby-”
“Let’s just go ask my sister!” the tall colt shouted back from the other end of the room. The unicorn glanced helplessly between his friend and Pinkie Pie, his head spinning in confusion. Eventually, he dropped from the counter and shuffled away back to his friends, defeated and more confused than he was before he came inside.
“Don’t tell our parents we were here!” yelled the quiet pegasus as the group plodded back out the door.

“I won’t! Because I don’t know who you are!” Pinkie said, waving as they left. The moment the door shut, she frowned and tapped a hoof to her chin. “I probably just could have said it was sex, huh? Oopsie.”

The day at the shop crawled by at a snail’s pace, with few customers coming in to distract Pinkie Pie from sitting behind the counter all day. She hoped one of her friends would come visit, but they were presumably all busy with their own pregnancies and the upcoming arrival of their foals. Pinkie wasn’t sure what kind of parent she’d be, but she loved the little Pie baking in her oven and would just figure it out as she went along, like she did most things.
It wasn’t until the mid-afternoon, after the fourth pan of ‘things’ were finished baking that the front door opened again. Pinkie Pie, who was in the kitchen, quickly called out ‘Coming!’ as she hurriedly waddled her heavy body as fast as it would move back to the register.

“Hiya!” she huffed while stepping up to the counter. “Welcome to Sugar-” Pinkie paused at the familiarity of the stallion in the middle of the room, but when their eyes met, she brightened immediately. “Lightning Dust!”
The golden-yellow pegasus with a slicked-back mane shuffled awkwardly in the shop, fluttering his wings anxiously. He flashed Pinkie a practiced smile, but he didn’t seem to have his heart in it.
“Uhh…H-hey Pinkie Pie,” Lightning said, his voice low, as if he was worried about being seen. Pinkie swiveled in place and glanced at the clock behind the counter.
“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be!” she said, grunting slightly as she stood on her sore hooves and trotted out from behind the counter. “Was it a long way from Cloudsdale?”

Lightning didn’t answer and instead stared transfixed at the sight of Pinkie’s rounded, pregnant middle with a look of abject horror as she approached him. The mare stopped and cocked her head to the side at his reaction, then followed his gaze down to her belly.
“Oh! Right!” She giggled. “You haven’t seen me all big and stuff, have you?” Cocking her leg back, she rubbed a hoof against her belly and continued to approach. Lightning Dust reflexively backed away a few feet and Pinkie saw his eyes glance toward the door. “Uhhh, are you okay?”
“Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah,” he said, forcing a smile while his wings trembled on his back. “I just uhh…like…um…it’s like…y’know?”
“I don’t know!” Pinkie responded with a polite smile. “But I’m glad you made it! I wanted little Stinkie Pie to meet her dad before she’s born.”
Lightning Dust seemed to tremble like a twig at the word ‘dad’ and seemed just seconds away from bolting. Pinkie Pie furrowed her brow. This wasn’t how she expected him to react to something that was supposed to be happy.

“Oop!” Pinkie jumped as she felt hooves jab into her from the foal inside her. “Ohhhhh! She’s kicking again! Maybe she knows you’re here!” She turned slightly to the side and approached Lightning. “You wanna feel her moving? It doesn’t hurt much ‘cause I was already a little tubby, y’know?”
“Th-that’s okay…” Lightning Dust stammered, staring wide-eyed down at the slightly-shifting pink globe of Pinkie’s baby belly.
“You sure? It’s really neat!” Pinkie asked. Before the pegasus could answer, her ears stood straight up and swiveled toward the kitchen as the last of the five oven timers went off. “Oops! Be back in twenty-two seconds!” She turned her back on Lightning and waddled back behind the counter, frowning as she tried to understand the stallion’s strange reaction to her pregnancy. It was just a baby, after all. What did he have to be afraid of?
After grunting and removing the last tray from the oven, Pinkie Pie gazed down at the delicious looking ‘Cake Things’ and felt her mouth begin to water all over again as her pupils widened like a cat’s.

“Maybe just one as a reward for-NO!” She shook her head and poked a hoof into her belly. “No! We can’t have any! Stop making me hungry, baby!” The foal kicked back at her, as if in response, as Pinkie reluctantly forced herself to leave the kitchen.
Back in the dining room of Sugarcube Corner, Lightning Dust was flapping his wings and fluttering in circles above the ground like a confused moth. He bumped his head against the ceiling more than once, but didn’t seem to notice as he muttered to himself and rubbed his hooves together.
“Gotta quit the Wonderbolts training program, I can’t believe this, I can’t believe how stupid I was, gotta quit the program and get a job, Dad’s gonna kill me, gotta get a job get a real job get a job job job job job, maybe work at Aunt Dusty’s antique store or maybe I could just get outta town, yeah skip everything and hop on a cloud outta here, no no don’t do that it’s not right you’ll never forgive yourself, my life is over it’s over my life is over everything’s over Dad is gonna kill me.”
“Uhhh…” Pinkie asked as she trotted to the middle of the store and stared up at Lightning as he scraped his head against the ceiling again. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know I don’t know I don’t think I’m okay,” Lightning Dust whimpered with a noticeable crack in his voice. “I can’t do this I can’t do this Game Over, man, Game over!”
“Well you don’t really have to do anything,” Pinkie said. “I’m the one having the baby, silly!”
The pegasus wailed in despair as he flew into a nearby wall and almost knocked over a framed picture of a cupcake hanging on it. His legs kicked wildly as he slid down the wall and crumpled into a heap on the floor.
“Was it something I said?” Pinkie asked out loud.

Lightning Dust stopped wailing into his hooves as the door to the bakery clinked open. Something that resembled a pony shuffled inside, but they were too covered in thick jackets, scarves, and bandannas to be seen clearly. A pair of enormous sunglasses and a hat blocked the figure’s face as they shuffled inside and pushed the door closed behind them, only to stand in the doorway without moving.
“Uhhh….Welcome to Sugarcube Corner?” Pinkie Pie greeted them with an inquisitive smile.
“Pnka Py.” They said in a voice that was too muffled for Pinkie to understand. “Cn wuh spik prvtly?”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Pinkie hesitated, unsure how to respond.
“Ah wudda spik ta oo lone.”
“I uhh… Do you…have a special order?”
The shoulders of the figure slumped as they sighed in frustration. A dark-blue haze of magic appeared and pulled the scarf away from their mouth.

“Pinkie Pie. Can I speak to you privately?” said a deliberate, slightly nasally male voice.
“Oh! Nebula! It’s you!” Pinkie shouted, waving to the stallion standing in the doorway.
“Don’t say my-” the unicorn began to protest before sighing and shaking off the bundle of clothing he wore and dropping them on a nearby table before putting his glasses on. He was skinny and sleek, but also attractive behind his thin-rimmed glasses, his eyes dotted with flecks of color that looked like stars and matched his namesake. It had been those eyes that drew Pinkie’s attention to him in the first place.
“Glad you could make it!” Pinkie said, happily. “Can I get you anything? You looked hot in all those jackets. I can make you a milkshake!”
“No, that’s alright. I won’t be long.” Nebula stood up straight and trotted to the middle of the dining room and sat next to a table. “How much do you need?”

“How…how much?” Pinkie Pie repeated.
“That’s right.” The stallion produced a velvet sack from thin air that clinked heavily on the table. “I’m prepared to give whatever you ask. Whatever you think would support you and the foal sufficiently.”
“What, money?” Pinkie asked. “I don’t need money, Nebula. I just wanted to see you again before I have the baby!”
“W-Wait,” Lightning Dust stammered as he stood shakily to his hooves. “I-I thought…who is he? What does he mean ‘support?’”
“Oh! Lightning Dust, this is Nebula!” Pinkie Pie said as he introduced them. “The other dad!”
“Other dad?” The stallions responded in unison.

“Well, maybe,” Pinkie shrugged as she scratched her belly. “I guess there’s only one dad but-”
“Pinkie Pie, what’s going on?” Lightning Dust shouted. “You invited me here and told me your wanted to foal to meet their father!”
“Yeah! I just don’t know who it is yet!” She shrugged nonchalantly. “So I invited both of you!”

“S-so you mean…” Nebula and Lightning stared at one another before the pegasus stammered. “I might not be the father?”
“Well I guess not,” Pinkie shrugged, her belly shifting slightly. “But you could be. Both of you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything about this before?” Lightning asked, his eyes wide.
“Well, her letter was abnormally short,” Nebula said.
“I don’t like to write much!” Pinkie said, giggling.

“So…so I might not…I…” The pegasus swallowed. “So it might not be my baby?”
“I don’t know! She’s not even out of me yet!” Pinkie smiled.
“But that doesn’t mean it’s mine either,” Nebula responded. “You lured me here under false pretenses.”
“Under what? Like I lied to you?” Pinkie blinked. “No! I just wanted you guys to come and see-”

“Y’know, we hooked up so long ago that it probably isn’t my foal,” Lightning Dust said, tossing his mane to the side and regaining his cool composure. “It was, like, almost a year ago, wasn’t it? It probably wasn’t me.”
“A foal takes about a year to gestate,” Nebula said. “If anything, Pinkie was probably already carrying by the time she and I…um…had relations. It’s more likely yours than mine.”
“I don’t really care who’s it is, y’know!” Pinkie said, cheerily. “I’m just happy to-”
“Look guy, we just met, you don’t know me. I’d take responsibility if it was my foal, okay? I wouldn’t just pay her off.” Lightning Dust said, taking a step toward Nebula.

“I’m not just ‘paying her off,’” Nebula snorted. “I’m offering to provide for the mother of my child, since I’m not in a position to do so directly. That’s better than you were doing while cowering on the floor.”
“I don’t need to listen to this,”Lightning snorted as he marched toward the door. A blue glow of magic held one of his legs in place as Nebula stepped down from the table.
“Oh I think you do, since that’s more than likely your foal you burdened Pinkie with.”
“I don’t mind, though!” Pinkie Pie tried to butt in. “I mean, maybe it’s not his baby, that’d be okay too! I just wanted-”

The three ponies stopped fighting as the door swung open and a huge, dark red draft stallion trotted inside, his hooves as broad as dinner plates creaking on the wood floor. He trotted past the arguing unicorn and pegasus and stood above the pregnant Pinkie Pie.
“Brick! There you are!” Pinkie said, smiling up at him. “I didn’t know when you got off work! How’s the house for Dash and AJ coming? They’ll need a lot of room once their-”
“Pinkie Pie,” the earth pony said in a monotone, thundering voice that sounded like stones rubbing together. “I’m glad you invited me here today.”
“Uhhhh, yeah, me too!”
“I plan on taking full responsibility for the child that I have sired within you,” Brick said. He backed away and bowed, his legs stiff. “Will you consent to marry me?”

The room fell into a deathly, awkward silence as the three ponies stared at the kneeling stallion. The only one moving was the foal still kicking in Pinkie’s womb.
“Oh…wow…geeze…” Pinkie Pie said as she stared down at the back of Brick’s neck. “I mean…you seem really nice and I had a lot of fun when we were together but…I don’t really know you very well other than that…”
“Wait,” Nebula said, releasing Lightning Dust’s leg. “This guy, too?”
“I do not understand,” Brick said, glancing between the other two stallions. “Your letter implied that you wished to meet with the father of the foal you carry.”
“Yeah! I just don’t know which one of you it is yet. So, I thought I’d just invite all of you!” Pinkie giggled and threw a bundle of confetti in the air that she always kept tucked away in her mane for special occasions. It sprinkled over Brick like dust as he stood gazing down at her.
“So there’s three different stallions you slept with who might have knocked you up?” Lightning said in bewilderment.

“Well, you guys are just the last I had fun with,” Pinkie shrugged, scratching her belly with her back leg. “It coulda been somebody else, but I don’t really remember!” She paused, then added, “You were all really good though!”
“That’s not the concern,” Nebula frowned. “If you intend to blackmail us, this scheme is ill-advised.”
“Blackmail? Why would I do that?” Pinkie Pie gasped.
“I intend to uphold my honor if the child is indeed mine,” Brick said. “But if I am not the father, I owe you no such obligations and simply wish you luck.”
“You don’t owe me anything!” Pinkie responded. “None of you guys do! I didn’t want anything from-”
“Look, there’s a three-in-one shot that kid’s mine and I don’t think it is anyway,” Lightning Dust sniffed as he headed for the door. “If it turns out it is, send me another letter I guess. I’m outta here.” Before he could leave, the doorway was blocked by the enormous form of Brick, who glared down at the pegasus.

“Do not reject your role in this,” he said. “It is just as likely your foal as it is mine.”
“Don’t act so high-and-mighty,” Nebula snorted. “You just told her to her face that you weren’t going help her out if it wasn’t yours! Don’t say anything about honor to us.”
“I will assist if I must, but I am not obligated to raise the child of another stallion,” Brick said.
“I don’t really want you to if you don’t wanna!” Pinkie tried to interject. “Really! I just wanted-”
“This coming from the guy who was ready to pay her off to keep her mouth shut about it!” Lightning shot back at Nebula. “That’s low. At least I was gonna stick around!”
“You’re only saying that now because the foal might not be yours!” Nebula shouted back.
“Th-The baby is a girl, y’know!” Pinkie shouted over the boiling argument. “It’s a little filly…

“I believe that neither of you are particularly honorable,” Brick said in a deep voice as he pushed Lightning away from the door. “I am prepared to do what I must until I am sure that the baby is mine. You both would like any excuse to escape your responsibility.”
“You don’t know anything about me, meat-head.” Lightning Dust snarled, fluttering his wings as he rose into the air and stared down the huge earth stallion.
“Do not attempt to intimidate me, little insect,” Brick glared.
“You guys don’t have any responsibility! I didn’t want you to-” Pinkie shouted helplessly, but found that the argument between the three stallions was getting too intense to butt into. She stepped back and rubbed her pregnant belly anxiously, trying to think of someway to calm the three possible fathers of the foal inside her.
“You two are idiots,” Nebula said, rolling his eyes.
“I’d rather be an idiot than whatever you are!” Lightning Dust shouted at Nebula. “Pampered little rich kid thinks he can pay off his problems!”
“You were on your way out the door!” Nebula yelled back. “You’re begging for an excuse to abandon Pinkie Pie and the baby!”

Suddenly, Pinkie’s ears stood up straight as an idea came to mind. She stood up straight and waddled as fast as she could to the storage room behind the kitchen. The three arguing stallions didn’t notice her leave.

“Are you calling me a coward?” Lightning shouted.
“Yes! I am!” Nebula snarled back, pushing the pegasus away with a burst of magic.
“But what does that make you?” Brick said, pushing aside Lightning as he glared down at the unicorn. “To be so indifferent to the mother of your child that you were willing to bribe her into silence?”
“I-I wasn’t trying to bribe her!” Nebula stammered. “I just…I’m not in a position to be a father! But I wasn’t just going to abandon her!”
“But you were in enough of a position to sleep with her, huh?” Lightning said.
“She asked me!” Nebula shouted.
“That does not matter,” Brick said, firmly. “You must be held responsible for your-”
“BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!”

The discordant sound of the broken tuba nearly deafened Brick as Pinkie Pie blew it just a foot away from his head. It was out of tune and the metal was warped, but the mare could still blow it loud enough to shake the windows of Sugarcube Corner.
“P-Pinkie Pie, what are-”
“BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!” Pinkie blew again into Nebula’s face, knocking his glasses off his nose.
“Can’t we just-”
“BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!” Pinkie huffed and frowned at the three stallions, who were finally silent.
“Pin-” Nebula began to speak, but fell silent again as the mare took a deep breath and bit down on the mouthpiece.
“Look, we were-” Lightning began to say before all three of the stallions winced at the sound of yet another “BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!” from the tuba.

“Okie-dokie!” Pinkie said in the silence that followed. “Are we gonna be quiet and talk?” The stallions glanced at one another, then nodded. Pinkie sighed in relief, then set the tuba down on a nearby table, but within reach in case she needed to use it again.
“That was unpleasant,” Brick said.

“Are you gonna listen?” Pinkie asked. The stallions nodded. “Good. I didn’t invite you here to trick you or to bribe you or because I wanted to marry you or trap you or anything like that!” She sighed and glanced to her baby belly, bulging out of her sides. “I don’t know which one of you is the dad, but I don’t really care either! I don’t want anything from you guys if you don’t wanna give it! I just wanted to get together and…have sort of a party! To be happy! To celebrate! I’m pregnant! One of you made a baby with me!” She paused and added in a quiet voice, “How could that be a bad thing?”

The stallions didn’t say anything. Pinkie sighed and sat on the floor, resting her hooves over her belly and feeling the foal gently kicking inside.
“I guess you guys don’t really wanna be dads, and that’s okay! I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to! But I’m gonna be a mommy soon and I want…I’m happy about it.”
“But Pinkie…” Nebula said. “You…you shouldn’t have to raise a foal alone.”
“I’m not alone. I have friends. I have a whole town of people that I love and can help me. I have a family. I didn’t want anything from you guys other than to just…be happy we made a foal.”
“Did you…did you try to get pregnant?” Lightning asked. “On purpose?”

“No, not really. I just…I like sex! It makes two people happy and sometimes can make a baby! How is that not, like, the best thing ever!?” Pinkie Pie sighed and looked down at her belly. “I guess other people don’t really see it like I do.”
“But you cannot expect us not to be surprised,” Brick said. “To be told that we might have fathered a child with you.”
“But I didn’t want anything from you! I don’t want her to have a daddy who didn’t wanna be there, y’know? We may never find out which one of you was her dad, anyway!”
The pegasus, unicorn, and earth pony glanced at one another skeptically.
“I didn’t know it was gonna be like this,” Pinkie sighed, lowering her head. “I just wanted us to be happy together. I’m happy! I can’t wait to be a mommy!” She shook her head, her mane seeming to droop. “I thought people would understand that like I did…”

“But…after eleven months of not knowing anything, it’s not really fair to expect us not-” Nebula began.
“Wait.” Pinkie interrupted. “Eleven months?”
“Yes…” Nebula blinked. “A mare is pregnant for eleven months.”
“I thought it was ten.”
“You thought-” Nebula shook his head in shock. “You’re the pregnant one! How did you not know?”

“I dunno! I wasn’t really counting, I just kinda figured I’d pop when I’d pop!” Pinkie stood up off the floor and tapped her belly thoughtfully with a hoof. She then snorted and burst into a fit of giggles before leaning against a table and laughing hysterically.
“I counted wrong!” Pinkie squealed in between her laughter. “I already had the baby in me when I was with you guys!” The three stallions stared wide-eyed at the heavily pregnant mare as she giggled and laughed like a madwoman, her breath coming in short bursts.
“So…so we’re not…” Lightning began, but Pinkie burst into another fit of laughter before he could finish. The three stood awkwardly in the middle of the store, then quietly shuffled out one-by-one as Pinkie flopped onto the floor and continued to shake with giggles, her belly quaking under her breath.

After she’d finally calmed down and the sun had begun to set, Pinkie sat behind the counter and composed a letter to who she suspected was the actual father of her foal. The door unexpectedly swung open and a pair of ponies trotted inside.
“Oh, sorry! We’re about to close!” Pinkie paused and cocked her head to the side. “…Mr. Cake?”
“Hi Pinkie Pie,” sighed the tired stallion, followed along by his equally exhausted looking wife. “We’re back early.”
“I guess so!” she said. “Uhh…why?”
“We got a letter forwarded to us while we were up in the mountains,” Mrs. Cake sighed. “The wedding changed their minds about the pastries. They wanted a full cake, instead.”

“We left the twins with their aunt,” Mr. Cake said as he exhaustively took his apron off the wall. “We’re charging double for the last-minute cake, aren’t we sweetie?”
“If not triple,” Mrs. Cake grumbled. The two tired ponies glanced up at the pregnant Pinkie Pie, who was sitting behind the counter with her mouth in a wide-open mouth grin.
“Sooooooooooooooooo…You don’t need those cake-things for tomorrow?” she asked eagerly.

“No,” Mr. Cake sighed. “We can make money back by selling them tomorrow, I guess, but most of them will probably have to be thrown away.”
Pinkie Pie was barely listening. She hopped up from the cushion behind the counter the moment Mr. Cake had said ‘No’ and thunderously galloped into the kitchen with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, relieved to finally satisfy the cravings both of her and the foal in her belly.