Heehee, I do like some panic-y inflatiness / expandiness. And the length of little stories like these is good too. Not too short but short enough to read in one little read.

Yeah, that's why I wanted to stick to a nice length. Not too much backstory and buildup (At least for these subjects), but not just starting off with "Hornet's charm breaks and starts inflating."

But glad you like it~!

If I may make a request? A sequel where Hornet comes back as a ghost to command the spirits to do the same thing that happened to her to the Knight she was fighting minutes prior to her "explosive end".

Not bad. You've got some natural talent as a writer, I see. It's clear you've taken Hornet's persoanlity, at least somewhat, seriously, made sure it felt like hornet. For a shorty, it's a goodie.

You do have some grammar problem that personally hold me back from loving and faving this, though I'll let you decide if you want to hear them. After all, you should want to improve of your own accord.

No worries, I appreciate any criticism and advice people have for me! These first few stories will be acting like icebreakers to get back in the flow of writing.

Taking inflatableboy's criticism into account, grammar fixes on my part;

"Not bad. You've got some natural talent as a writer, I see. It's clear you've taken Hornet's personality, at least somewhat, seriously, and made sure it felt like Hornet. For a shorty, it's a goodie.

You do have some grammar problems that personally hold me back from loving and faving this, though I'll let you decide if you want to hear them. After all, you should want to improve of your own accord."


Anyway, the big problem is how dialogue and narration are being punctuated together.

"This isn't correct." She said.

"This is correct," she said.

"This is correct." She nodded her head.

"This is not correct," she nodded her head.

Basically, whenever a character 'says' something, it's part of the sentence in the narration, and is thus given a comma instead of a period at the end to denote this. In cases where you use an ! or ?, you still treat it like a comma.

"Oh no!" she shouted.

This is the big one that really sticks out to me, and should be what's fixed up before anything else.

Ah, right. I'll try to iron those out more in the future, then. I also wrote this on the word app for my phone, which seems to capitalize after quotes because the 'sentence' ended. I also need to put dedicated time to edit and rewrite like a proper story, too, hah ^^;

But thank you for pointing it out!

Oopsie. Never said I was perfect. :P Wrote it late last night and wasn't up to full speed. I will say, sometimes it's important to break grammar rules because someone just talks that way. I didn't use 'which' because I don't speak grammatically correct outside of stories, all the time. Still, it's worth pointing out.