ammm...
today i just wanna say a few words.
or more like a lot.

i wanna talk about my experience today doing this.
and well it does good to me to write, i can talk to nobody about this anyway.
i write what i write, as if i talk to myself, and to someone, to anyone who can hear me outside this window.
in my despair, i just upload what i write and do
no matter what, so at least i can be sure there will be something i did, that will prevail on record.
maybe something i can look back at when i get older and laugh at.
or just to leave something for others to read.

well today i got deeply depressed, and this time i cried a lot.
and im being honest, thats one of the few things i believe i can do well.
i barely had the strenght to do this painting.
and you can see that on the quality, and brush strokes.

I saw a story about a young man and woman, about 20 to 22
getting rich and all that, at such a young age.
and just talking in a presumptuous way.
having the dream life, being able to afford what they want.
about how they travel, and even talking about the whole lot of money they have
that they could even pay many other people passage if they wanted.
and i wondered it they would actually do it.

and when i see at my life, at my experiences,
and how the posible outcome of my future is so uncertain and unpredictible.
i found my self in deep emotional misery.

im at the edge of really giving up on this. to my daily effort in painting.
i almost did´nt upload this, but i know that if i stop for one day.
either will be for me impossible to recover and get back on track.
or i lose the memory of what´ve learned.

but for me, today i say, expressing my feelings, and ideas,
having that joy, after the pain.
that is a brief moment of relief that makes life worth living.

>>♦THE ARTWORK

>Type : Daily Painting - from the Let's finish what's unfinished!

Title: uncomfortably numb
Or (a travel on bus)

>Duration
♦Original sketch idea done on 2019-02-19, february 19th
♦ about 3 to 4 hours

>♦STORY

I drew this after having an experience traveling on ride to work.
a ride that lasted about 3 hours, i had my backpack with me and just hugged it.
and just sleept on it and became numb, having my arms feel dead.

after that, i drew this thinking about that.
but it turned out to actually become another memory of another part of my life
that had  exactly the same feeling.

having to ride on bus to get to college from 2015 to 2017.
a travel to be done from 5:20 to 7:00 am.
and bus for school students, not for collage,
but they offered transport service for collage students as well.
so i was the only one with that description.

i remember i always tried to seat last, on the one single seater seat.
i thought, so i could give other students space to seat somewhere better,
and also thought, i was the only want to withstand the pain of traveling seated there.
So i tried to do that everyday.

and about why i choosed that title.
i remembered that song from pink floyd, comfortably numb
so i thought that could fit, but not only was i feeling numb,
but also uncomfortable.

>♦CRITIQUE

This painting is so pathetic.
well...so long for trying to make quality stuff...
sometimes its just impossible to get there.

>Recommendations

I really want to carry on, i really want to live.
i dont what to get lost again.
so i will justr try to live another day
so i can get another chance to paint and write something to annoy you.

>♦Personal Judgment, Score

Overall Quality
maybe 2 or maybe 4, but you can also decide.

v03 31/03/2019

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