You know, i dont feel right.

>>♦THE ARTWORK

>Type : Painting - from other misc paintings left on Queue

Title: Sad Ambition
Or (It´s my lonely sadnees that turned out to be an ambition)

>Duration

♦Started yesterday, i think,
and finished it today.
♦ 3:30 to 4 hours

>Intro

sometimes i paint to ease my self from strees, pain or other emotions
this is one of them.

this is not the actual paiting planned to be finshed today,
but is the one that i felt i needed to paint.

>♦STORY

right now, i feel deeply tired,
exhausted, feeling pain in my heart
in the physical way.

but im very insane you know, i cant stop painting
i do about 2 to 3 paiting ideas per day,
and most of the time i only finish one.
the rest of them gets on queue.

to wait to be finished, or to be abandoned.

>Explanation

umm.....sometimes i think i need a psychologist
to try to understand what is wrong.

but i think the answer is that i have so much repreesed energy
repressed desire
that has turned in a uncrontrolled ambition.

I try to have a plan,
but i seriously don´t know where i am going
doing all this crazy paintings

Just know that i should get better, 
and that i should do what my mind drags me to paint.
for many years i didn´t listen and felt a sense of something dying.
but i cant stop it now.

even though some deep thoughts tell me i should quit.

>Inspiration Sources:

♦ ummm something in my subconciusness.

> about the technique

♦ Lots of scratching haha.
♦ i dont rember if i use some mixer brush,  maybe but not sure.

> about the species

ummm.....

>♦GRIPE

ummm.......

>♦CRITIQUE

The thing that most bothers me
is the proportion, and if this guy anatomy is right or wrong
not sure if this is ugly or acceptable.

>Recommendations

i dont know, but when i dont know,
i recommend, dont give up.

>Academic notes

(This are thoughts that i had while painting this, i rather write this here
so i dont forget it, and dont lose it)

I think scrathing, is a more energtic way to build volume
and also think, that stroking this way, creates a sense of rythym
textures, and gives the paiting itself a unique personality.
In a way that the brush strokes are telling a story.

you could also called it scribbling, but i dont feel im scribbling,
in scribbling you dont lift your pencil, you continue to create values
by a nonstop movement that is controlled trough density and pressure

but in here. i mostly did a one stroke action.
similar to way when one scratches an object.
Stroke by stroke that overrrides the values beneath.

you may also see some strokes play with rythym 
in a sort of continuos oscilattion.

Composition bothers me, this picture faces to the left
and not sure if that adecuate, as it points backwards
but since this is a painting toward to a negative sad phsycology
i believe is okay it faces backwards instead of forward.

i noticed that by placing the picture forward, facing to the right,
values created a sense of unwanted enclousure, claustrophobia.
but noticed that it was created by the values, not the compositions itself
so values could also affect the feeling of openess and enclosure.
i would had to invert the direction of lighting in the background and the subject
to match the composition facing to the right.

>♦Personal Judgment, Score

Overall Quality 6/10 or 7

The Feel of expression 6/10
Technique 710
Anatomy 5/10
Shading 7/10
Construction 5/10
Lighting 7/10
Colors 5/12
Perspective 6/10
Creativity 6/9
Style 7/10
Composition 7/10
Shapes 5.5/10
Stroke Flow 5/11
Design 5/10
Gesture 7/10

♦ Negative values

Ugliness 5/10
Boringness 4/9
Level of self-cringeness 3/9

v01 05/03/2019

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