To do with that last bottom right thing, I kind of agree with it in a way but not because of the fact I devalue myself or consider myself a freak. I would want to change what I was purely to spite humanity that has for the most part generally only brought me pain. If I could be something else other than human, I would take it and I would show that I have grown beyond their petty little egos and their horrible nature. I would be me, no matter if they like it or not. With regards to the top right mood journal, I would like to point out that you are always your own worst critic. You are not a bad person especially if you're willing to show that you have those feelings to others who may not even know you. Don't forget, there are people who care about you and can understand why you do those things that you do... and while you may feel inconsiderate and annoying for being yourself, many other people wouldn't want you any other way, because they value you for who you are. Flaws and all.

Stay strong.

Thank you for your incredibly thought out and kind response. I really feel the same as you with that first bit, and I wouldn't want to change because I'm a freak, but that I would change if it meant that I did become a freak in the eyes of everyone else.