This is a song about my earlier days of writing music. I used to be very insecure about my music for no reason (like, no one has ever made fun of me for writing music). Even when everyone was like "this is so cool", I'd be like "no it isn't" (which is the meaning behind the first part — it's king of making fun of my mindset). A friend even found my youtube channel with my music, and I ended up privating it. I'd get embarrassed when my mom showed her friend my music. I'd end up avoiding to record, and avoiding songwriting.

I wrote this song after I showed my band teacher some of my music so I could maybe have my mayterm (an end of the year project where we have the entire month of may to do) be writing an album. This was something that was done before. And it's something only done by seniors, so there's no unfair competition. After sending him my music a day after he asked since I was embarrassed about them, he said my skills were too underdeveloped (basically my music was shit).

I was looking back and I felt like things could have been different if only I felt encouragement instead of embarrassment. I could have been making loads of beautiful songs by now if I asked my parents for music lessons, or if I was more proud of my music and thus done it more often and practiced more.

Furthermore, I'm going off to college which is starting to worry me. Would I even have time to make music? Would I be able to practice before I end up getting a job? I don't know. Would I be able to gain the skills after getting older? It's hard for me to sing in tune and keep a steady rhythm. Would I be able to learn that? I'm not sure.

But the only way I could keep making it worse is if I continue to not make music. So whether this song itself is good or not, at least it was good practice.