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Species Wolf
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A mercenary's life is tough. People wanting to kill you, living contract to contract, and as if that weren't enough, plenty of people have no trouble letting you know that you aren't wanted. Luckily, Folc's been at this long enough that it doesn't bug him anymore. But maybe, just maybe, he has aspirations for something greater. And maybe, with a new contract from a famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) client, he can make good on those dreams of something more.
Here we have our first introduction to Folc, a rough-and-tumble wolf mercenary forged by his rough life. Should this series continue we will soon learn plenty more about him, and his adventure to come, but for now we our hero, if he can even be called that, as he battles in a steel-on-steel fight for his life against an unknown assailant.
This is a series I've been thinking of starting up for a while, finally got around to writing the first chapter and hopefully will be populating the rest of my gallery soon enough lol. The world is heavily influenced by the tabletop game Armello, which I do recommend if it is on sale. The art and cinematics are fantastic, and the gameplay is rather engaging. Rounds go fairly quickly, and I do find myself having a good time whilst playing.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, if this series continues I have more things planned, a big journey, an actual character arc, a couple companions, and the occasional yiff and/or fetish piece because I'm a massive degenerate! Those of you just in it for the plot, don't worry, everything will be marked in a similar fashion to this one and all the sexual content will be skipable. For example, if you want to get right to the "juicy" stuff, head to page 4, though bear in mind it is on a corpse. I was aiming for more of a plot point on this one rather than an erotic one XP
Here we have our first introduction to Folc, a rough-and-tumble wolf mercenary forged by his rough life. Should this series continue we will soon learn plenty more about him, and his adventure to come, but for now we our hero, if he can even be called that, as he battles in a steel-on-steel fight for his life against an unknown assailant.
This is a series I've been thinking of starting up for a while, finally got around to writing the first chapter and hopefully will be populating the rest of my gallery soon enough lol. The world is heavily influenced by the tabletop game Armello, which I do recommend if it is on sale. The art and cinematics are fantastic, and the gameplay is rather engaging. Rounds go fairly quickly, and I do find myself having a good time whilst playing.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, if this series continues I have more things planned, a big journey, an actual character arc, a couple companions, and the occasional yiff and/or fetish piece because I'm a massive degenerate! Those of you just in it for the plot, don't worry, everything will be marked in a similar fashion to this one and all the sexual content will be skipable. For example, if you want to get right to the "juicy" stuff, head to page 4, though bear in mind it is on a corpse. I was aiming for more of a plot point on this one rather than an erotic one XP
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Wolf
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 39.5 kB
Listed in Folders
I’m glad you liked it, thanks for your comment! I really appreciate the feedback! I’ve certainly got a bunch more planned, and a bunch more, squirmier meals planned ;)
At the moment I’ve got a stand-alone in a different setting in the works, but I do have a second chapter of this in the pipeline!
At the moment I’ve got a stand-alone in a different setting in the works, but I do have a second chapter of this in the pipeline!
Summary/ Intro Description
I liked the summary you gave. It explained the plot pretty concisely and your plans for the character. I also like how you described where you drew inspiration from. Could be a great reference point for the story maybe?
First Page
The descriptions are amazing. You painted a setting really well and lead smoothly into the character description. I don't know what you mean about one eye being naturally wet. Maybe just natural overall? I appreciate your focus on the flow of combat. It seems well done and from an experienced reader/writer's understanding of such.
Second Page
I had nothing to say at first. The descriptions of how Folc reacted to the blade, the process of retaliating and the metaphor for his breath all had me invested. Your skill at keeping a consistently realistic set of actions or the flow of such is pretty impressive. Nothing feels out of place and the combat progressed smoothly.
Third Page
Only critique for the first half is the "simultaneous burning and intensely sweet" section. I knew exactly what you were attempting to say but it still read a bit awkwardly in my mind. Could very well be a me problem. Spoilt food, I'm guessing, wouldn't satiate him enough. Other than that, there was a quick lead up into the vore.
Fourth Page and Fifth Page
Almost everything felt reasonable for all that happened. Maybe a small tweak would be him losing the food from his pack in the lake so that the desperation to eat would be intensified. That being said, him eating the rodent was something he was used to so it could be a preference for eating that over spoilt food.
Overall
That was a really well done story! You not only have a great understanding of descriptions and a smooth progression of actions but you also know how to establish an environment. I loved the small details of the world, such as the vial and the Martinel family, quite a bit. I do think there could have been more expression from Folc. I could be misinterpreting his character but due to the lack of dialogue, I feel there could have been more moments of expression. For example, the rat casted a glance of mild interest but Folc only looked down. There could have been a look of surprise or horror. A minor critique and it could very well be me misinterpreting Folc's character. My final critique would be its brevity but that may be a conscious choice, and given the overall steady pacing, it may be an unnecessary criticism. I adored this story and I thank you for sharing it.
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