Time to start doing something, isn't it? Chapter 14 !

---

The night was cloudy, every here and there stars shined with rare occasions to share their light. But tonight, there was a brighter light to send shiny reflections on the scales of the dragons gathered. A flame that was burning intensely in the middle of the community.

It had seemed that Ghelana had given the human’s suggestion some thoughts. When she eventually emerged from the cave her brother’s body was kept in, the first thing she asked Nimera was to actually cremate him. She had insisted that since he lost his life, the best thing she could do for him was to not let humans get their hands on him, ever again. And Nimera found nothing to reply to that.

So she had spend the next hours asking for help to gather wood. And she had met many helping paws among her fellow dragons. By night, the risks were lessened to fall on a human in the woods. And although they didn’t show it, they did want to do something for Ghelana. Deep inside, all of them were good, and the dragoness never doubted of it.

Once everything was set up, they carefully put Grindal on top of the pile of wood. And his sister was the first to ignite it, followed by some other fire-breathing dragons.

Nimera looked at the flames starting to rise and lick the head of Grindal, whom she’d never see again. As memories of him emerged in her mind, the dragoness looked at Ghelana who stared with an empty gaze. There wasn’t anything else to do, except maybe leaving her time to heal. Nimera still felt tears rolling on her own cheeks. It was always… so painful to say goodbye… She couldn’t take it any longer and moved away from the crowd.

Where had gone the human who started this? Surely he had to be around; he had made clear that he stayed for now. And she wanted to keep an eye on him. To know what he was up to. She was getting to the idea that he didn’t wanted to be directly bad with them. He had defended them, showed compassion, and even saved her life. If there was a hidden agenda to this, she clearly couldn’t put her claw on it. So why not confronting him once and for all about it?

Still, he was yet to be found. He wasn’t among the dragons, maybe in a cave taking some rest? She did noticed Helios though, standing a bit behind but still looking moved by the event. Discretely, she went to him and whispered to him.

“Helios, have you seen where he went?”

“He’s up there.” He simply replied with a movement of the head toward the mountain, but keeping his eyes on the flames.

Nimera followed the direction and indeed noticed a shape above the cliff. She wouldn’t have thought of looking up to find a human, but the dragoness remembered what he wanted to do when he came here in the first place.

“Thank you.” She replied, getting ready to take off.

“Perhaps you should go easy on him.” Helios commented, disturbing her in her movement.

Wings stills spread, Nimera looked at him with a bit of confusion. This wasn’t one of his teases, he spoke that seriously.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s okay to not trust him, I don’t. I confess it. Even if I look enthusiastic” Helios said seriously, looking at her. “It’s a bit obvious you don’t like him in the way you talk. He helped us. And I think you should be careful about the way you’re about to speak to him.”

“He didn’t seem to care much so far.”

“Not seeming like you care is not the same as not caring. Haven’t you read him?”

“Of course I did. And I can’t figure him out. But I don’t think he cares about our opinions.”

“That’s the thing, you’ve focused only on his aggressive side. Try to feel him really, that’s…. pretty disturbing. If you don’t believe me, this should convince you that you should be careful with your attitude.”

He didn’t add anything to this. This came so out of nowhere that it left the dragoness speechless. It was true that her fear had made her consider potential threats as a priority. But this human was different, and apparently animated with other purpose. And now she was curious to see what Helios saw in him, and that she missed.

Forgetting about her frustration, Nimera took off in the direction of the cliff. There was no way he could miss her coming, so she didn’t even try to hide her flight from his eyes. But as she approached, she realized that she still had come unnoticed. The human was staring at the cloudy sky, motionlessly sitting. If he didn’t blink once in a while, she would have wondered if he was even awake.

“Have you… seen what you were looking for?” she asked carefully as she landed behind him, at reasonable distance.

“No… Can’t see the stars properly, and the little I saw wasn’t comforting. It’s like the stars and heavens are completely different. Nothing like I ever saw. Haven’t even seen the moon yet. I don’t have a single idea of where I am.”

“The….’moon’?” She asked.

This seemingly had quite an effect on him. Stopping his stargazing, the human looked at her with a strange expression on the face. His eyes looked a bit more humid than usual.

“You have a real talent to scare me with the fewer words… Maybe I should give up…” he sighed, then looked up again. “Tell me, Nimera… How do you feel when you look at the stars above?”

“The stars?” She repeated, a little surprised, lifting the head. It was hard to tell, with so little number of stars to see through the clouds. “I don’t know, I’ve rarely looked up to the stars. Am I supposed to… feel something?”

“Not necessarily, it’s up to everyone.” He replied and took a deep, calm breath. “I like to do this. Find a high place and look at the stars. I know that out there, far beyond what we can see, there are things so big and ancient that my mind wouldn’t comprehend them. It makes me feel unimportant, small, harmless. Less than a speck of dust that, however hard it fails, will never have any true impact on the existence. It reassures me, because being small means my mistakes don’t really matter.”

He took a pause, breathing deeply. The speech held something scary to her. Someone who did think nothing ever mattered could be unpredictable and dangerous. More likely to drown into extremes. But then the human lowered the head and looked at the dragons gathered around the pyre.

“And then, I look down. And it puts things in perspective. Everything, so little as it is, has an importance to its scale. Everyone is important to somebody, somewhere. To a parent, a child is more important than all the stars in the universe. If our lives don’t matter to the giants of this world, they matter to us. And that is why, this time, I really can’t tell myself that my mistake doesn’t matter.”

Now maybe was a good time to try Helios’ advice. Forget about what she knew, or thought she knew. And try to read him properly while he talked.

It wasn’t easy, especially on humans. First because, force of the habit, Nimera had come to instinctively block her empathy in the presence of humans. Feeling their disturbing pleasure in tormenting her kind could be a traumatic experience. The most intense feelings were always on the surface. And this was the second reason.

While dragons were generally easy to read due to their overall sincerity, humans were more complex. Emotions had layers. A layer of rage could find its root in a deeper layer of fear. Humans were specialists on burying their truer feelings under layers more disturbing than the previous.

At least for once, the first layer wasn’t sadism, rather a thin mask of calmness. But right under it, there weren’t layers anymore, more like a messy mix-up. Anger, quite obviously, sadness, fear. This last one was a bit surprising, but it didn’t tell enough. The dragoness really had to dig hard into his heart to get through this wall of stormy emotions. And there she found what Helios probably saw...

It was like he was screaming at himself deep inside. Despair, rage found an explanation. He blamed himself and really wasn’t tender doing so. The sadness got more defined too. This was grief, an affliction due to a loss, and feeling of unworthiness. It was quite astonishing how such a scary looking human turned out to be so in distress in his core.

And it wasn’t safe either to dig in such emotions. Nimera could feel tears filling her eyes, like affected by the faces she discovered behind the walls.

“You feel guilty.” She voiced her discovery.

“Of course I feel guilty. I made a mistake, Nimera. And an innocent died.”

She began to understand what Helios’ warning was about. The way he had put it, she expected a threat she hadn’t detected, a fury ready to slaughter her if she pushed this human’s patience too far. But the truth was, Nimera considered him a sick human now. Clearly she couldn’t think of a better term, since he didn’t feel the way his species did.

And it inspired her pity… She couldn’t possibly be aggressive on a soul in distress. Not when said soul was already so hard on itself.

“You looked so surprised when I turned down the offering of the LTOH.” He resumed talking after a short silence. “To me it sounded like the most obvious choice. People die around me… All the time… if I were to be a god, I’m sure I’d be a god of death. And… I don’t want that. I’m sick of seeing good people die.”

His voice was a bit shaking. And that was where she had to give up. What she read in him was consistent. His feelings, his words, his actions… It made no sense considering a normal human’s behavior. But he made somehow sense with himself. He truly was pained by Grindal’s death, and tried to hold it within.

She didn’t understand him. But since everything pointed into that conclusion, then it was stubborn to deny the possibility that he really was intending to help. To what end? What did it bring to him? Mystery… But it would have been really sick of him to fake such devastation.

“You know, none of us moved either. We’re as guilty as you.” She said like it would be of any help. Truth was that she began to feel actually guilty as well, and yet everything happened like it was supposed to. However, it seemed to matter deeply to him. “I should say that I’m sorry I wasn’t helping… Feels like I ruined what you intend to do…”

From morose, the human’s emotions jumped to surprise. Nimera sensed it before he even turned to look at her. Then, his face only confirmed what she felt. It was like he didn’t even expect her to feel that way.

“Help me? I’m going to think that you truly assume I’m here to use you... I don’t count on any of you to help me. I intend to keep this only between them and me, so the least of you suffer from my impulsiveness.”

“But… you’re trying to help us, apparently.”

“I just do what I want. What I feel right on the moment. Don’t take it badly, but this has nothing to do with you. I’m the one who works his ass off for others. Not the other way around. Never the other way around. That’s how things work in my head. Just like in yours, the way things work is humans killing your kind. We all have our crosses to bear, our conception of the reality. That’s why I can’t blame anyone for theirs. That’s why I don’t expect others to understand me.”

“You’re telling me that… you don’t expect to be helped in return? Or that you don’t want to?”

“A bit of both. I don’t want any help because I know that’s not how it works. And if I let anyone help me, sooner or later they will ask for a return. I just believe I’m one of the rare who never expects returns. That’s the only thing that brings me a little peace about how I am…”

“Isn’t that a bit pretentious to think you’re so unique?”

“Don’t care if it is. When things require my best, I base my decisions on what I take as true. Like everyone would. When you’re aware that you can’t help but nosing into what feels wrong, you stop fighting it. When you know that most opponents are right-handed, you don’t assume the next you encounter is a leftie. When you know most people won’t lift a finger to help you, you don’t hope they’ll make the problem easier. That’s just logic. Probabilities. Adaptation if you prefer. I don’t lose my time with philosophy about my ego, I know I have one the size of a mountain. I can’t really do anything about it except putting it into good use. I have other priorities right now.”

“Like what?”

“Preventing more innocents to get killed. They will come and try to take revenge, and the cycle won’t stop until they bend or I fall. I must end this before it escalates more, because with each occurrence, like children, they’ll kill some of you that I can’t protect. And this, whether I like it or not, comes before my need to get home.”

“Then you could break all their arms.” A voice intervened. “Then they won’t be able to hold a sword to kill us anymore.”

While they were busy looking at each other, Helios had flown to them. Inside, Nimera felt a deep embarrassment. She knew Helios meant it like a real suggestion. He had missed the biggest part, obviously.

Of course this human was able of the worst atrocities… but the more she talked with him, the least she thought he enjoyed it. And as such, his reaction was kind of predictable.

“Speak about such thing one more time, and I’ll question my decision to help.” He replied a bit coldly. “If anything, pain and death are a last resort. As long as there are other options, it’s beyond my schemes. No, the right thing to do is to adapt. Before expecting others to change for you, try changing for them.”

“What do you mean?” Helios asked while landing next to Nimera.

“I can’t defend all of you, all the time. Just like I can’t change an entire nation of humans if they are all like this. It’s mathematic. One can’t save hundreds if they are also hundreds on the other side. But if the ratio gets more balanced, like one on one, there you stand a chance.”

“You want us to learn how to fight humans?” Helios asked back, opening his eyes wide.

Beyond the surprise, Nimera began to feel concerned. She knew Helios. She could feel it when he had hidden interests. And when she looked at him, there was no doubt some enthusiasm was present. A dreadful idea for the dragoness… Those who fought humans were the first to die. Helios should never have to learn how to fight humans!

“Fight humans?” he made a strange face and a weird twist of the hand that suggested his discomfort saying this. “Please, I don’t think for a second that you’d stand a chance in a fight with them. Don’t take me wrong, you’re well equipped to fight. The horns, the fangs, the claws, the tail, the size… but when you fight a human, the most important is the intention. These humans win on you because they sincerely want bad to you. And you, on the other hand… I can’t put this another way, you are victims, wimp, in short, mentally weak for a fight.”

“Well thank you…” Helios replied sarcastically, seemingly offended.

But Nimera couldn’t stand this particular kind of rebellion. Helios could be upsetting but this time, he questioned an opinion that was for his own good! Who cared about being weak, as long as they could live?! Especially now, with Grindal’s body being taken away by the flames below?!

To send the message, to imprint in his mind that surviving and choosing the best chances were primordial, the dragoness lifted a paw on an impulse. And she aimed at the muzzle to give this young foolish mind a good shock.

When she went for the strike though, she felt pointy pressure on her arm. Helios had stopped her gesture with his jaws. That new defensive trick of his again! It became so annoying! How could she teach him right in emergency case if he turned it into a game?! He threw a defying look to her, then released her arm with a displeasing victorious smile.

“I listen to what you say. Even when you think I don’t. The old one told me to ‘bite her’. The human told me to do something. And so I did. You see? I’m not as dumb as you both think. I listen. I can learn.”

Nimera couldn’t stand this. Becoming overconfident led to certain death! And to that, she’d show she wasn’t willing to give up after a little defeat. It was her tail, this time, that went hitting the back of his skull, making him protest with a little ‘ooch’.

“I don’t want you to learn that! You might as well go offer your throat to the first human to slice it! If you fight, they’ll target you! Do you realize that?!” She lost her temper. But the human rose a hand as to ask her to let him talk.

“I’ll be honest with you, Helios. If you want to have means to defend your life and those around you, I’ll consider it. But I need to see what you’re made of first. Your potential. So far, your motivations have been unclear to me. And what I can see of you is not caring about discipline.
I advised you to do something when Nimera hits you because she uses the wrong methods, but have you tried to understand why she uses such desperate means to make you listen to her? Of course, she wants your good and you know that. But have you ever considered how worried you make her when you speak about fighting humans?
And so am I! You’re not ready to learn such things! Everything in life comes at time. Step by step I would say. Your first step is to prove me that you can listen, understand, and make the best decisions to protect your life and those around you without getting involved.
Discipline is not about blindly following rules, the way I envision the concept. Discipline is about understanding why such rules are set for you. And if you don’t understand, ask the right way, not by making what you want on the moment. Right now, the rule is to avoid danger at any cost. This is a rule that Nimera here has been desperate to teach you for a while, apparently. Follow it, think about it, understand it, and I’ll give you a chance to show me your potential. Is that all clear to you?”

This human had a way of speaking that was somehow hypnotizing. He spoke clearly, without rising the voice, and even she couldn’t help but agree. Nimera was surprised he even considered how she felt about it, after being openly hostile to him. But he was right, he understood the core of her motivations. And he managed to actually make a guilty expression appear on Helios’ face.

With one speech, he had succeeded where she failed so many times with this young scaly head. Maybe because a young dragon would more easily listen to a male figure of authority than her? Then why couldn’t she find anything to say on his speech either? In a way, he said what she deeply hoped him to say, without knowing it. A reason Helios would listen to. One that spoke to him.

If he wanted it, he would have to prove he could obey… Brilliant human manipulation, a bit forceful but effective. Making him want to achieve something instead of threatening… that was interesting.

“Alright, I’ll behave. But if you don’t expect us to fight, what do you suggest?” Helios replied with a surprisingly respectful tone.

To this, the human rose his hand and showed the three fingers in the middle to them, holding it next to his face, back turned to the horizon. The sun peaking at the distance gave quite an impressive look at his figure.

“In case of aggression, there are three basic types of reactions. From what I can see, you tried inhibition slash submission for a long time and the results aren’t there. So we’ll eliminate this option right away.” He lowered the second finger on the left. “As I explained, and it’s including everyone of you oversized reptiles, fighting isn’t your best option.”

He lowered the other opposite finger, leaving the middle one straight in the air. The human turned to face the same direction as they did, between them.

“The last option is running away, escaping, flight. And this, my friends, will be the biggest middle finger to these bastards ever!” He spoke more enthusiastically, even chuckling as he seemed to align his finger with his eyes and the horizon line.

Was it a human thing? Helios looked at her with confusion, but she surely had the same expression on the face. She didn’t get it, at all. What was so rejoicing? Had he found a true solution?

“I’ll give you a little task. I want you to gather all of your fellows in the center, once the ceremony will be over.”

“What? How do you expect us to do that?”

“Oh, just tell them the human asked it. And that before beginning, I’ll visit each and every cave around to make sure no one is missing.”

This time, there was a little fear in the eyes of the dragons. Why did he want them to gather the dragons? Because she was starting to know him, Nimera could believe in something safe. But she knew all of them would feel like walking to their execution.

“What do you want from them?”

“I see the reflections of a new day at the horizon. Today we leave the fears and sorrows of yesterday and we try something new. I’m going to make you all try a way to stay alive.”

“They will be scared…”

“Good, I want them to be scared. Fear is what keeps someone alive”