Well was a very good short story. You have good description by use of your metaphoric language. The ending was just beautiful in its presentation, uniqueness, and opaque revelation. The higher concepts placed were not meddled nor did they suffer any form of negative feedbacklashloop. The character development was questionable, but there was no need, for it ended the way it should, so there is no reason to really tackle the subject. So over all a fine story, its always a rare treasure to find things like this on FA, keep up the good writing.

Also, you should show and give this to your friend, never be afraid to take the first step.

Ah, well thank you for your Feedback ^.^ It's very much appreciated....
Working backwards: As for finding Gems on FA, it's all a matter of your tastes and just where you look... I've found many a good stories and other art around, but sometimes you have to dig for it.. ^.^

yeah, Seeing as how The way it ends [and I knew how I was goign to end it] I didn't really feel too much development would be needed... I was afraid, if anything, the "development" would hinder or even distract from the story-line, short as it is...

As for the higher concepts... Hm... I like to try and write a story that is easily readable and enjoyable, if you don't read too into it, while also throwing in splinters of hidden meanings here and there for those who actually read it...

And, I rather dislike just being one of the "sheep" who writes Generics... though, I will admit that I have [and had] a hard time Keeping this original as it was... becuase, too easily I've found that your work can become a shell of another work/story, just with different names.. ^.^

Once more, I appreciate your comment greatly, and I"m glad you enjoyed reading my piece.. ^.^