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Story / Fat Furs
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this is sort of a prequel to last years heavy halloween land when the park opens
Category Story / Fat Furs
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 18 kB
Not bad, though you seem to be borrowing rather "heavily" from R.L. Stine's "Horrorland" series. You need to slow down, though; the story will be longer and more interesting if you write from the characters' point of view, and let the characters talk. Right now, it's all third person; you're telling us what happened, but at two removes.
Not bad, though you seem to be borrowing rather "heavily" from R.L. Stine's "Horrorland" series. You need to slow down, though; the story will be longer and more interesting if you write from the characters' point of view, and let the characters talk. Right now, it's all third person; you're telling us what happened, but at two removes.
Not bad, though you seem to be borrowing rather "heavily" from R.L. Stine's "Horrorland" series. You need to slow down, though; the story will be longer and more interesting if you write from the characters' point of view, and let the characters talk. Right now, it's all third person; you're telling us what happened, but at two removes.
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