FA+
Shop
601 submissions
ACT III
(Cat in the Hat --CitH, enters, visible to audience but still slightly off stage. SFX door bell, rings once, pauses. Elena gets part way up, not sure if she heard it. Door bell rings twice.)
Elena: (walks to door, doorbell rings 4x) Hold on! (doorbell goes spastic) I said (Elena reaches the door and yanks it open violently) Hol- (She's cuts herself off in surprise as CitH is standing there having way too much fun with the door bell. CitH stops, and composes himself.)
CitH: Elena _________?
Elena: I'd ask 'who are you?' but I think I can take a pretty good guess. The Cat in the Hat?
CitH: Sure as I like green eggs and ham, why yes I am! Mind if I come in? I'm here to make a dinner that's sure to win. (CitH lets himself in, Elena holds it open expecting more.)
Elena: Don't you have a Thing 1 and a Thing 2 that usually travel with you?
CitH: That is usually true, I do, but your own cats now helpers true will make a fantabulous One and Two!
Elena: (indicating Tiny Tizzy) What about the third?
CitH: It's your thing, do what you want to do. I can't tell you who-
Elena: (Interrupting) I get it, I understand!
CitH: That's grand!
Elena: Do you always have to rhyme?
CitH: No. (Elena Breathes sigh of relief) Not all the time.
Elena: (Looks at clock) Aack! They'll be here in an hour!
Scooter: One hour to tackle today's holiday dinner. Using all our senses, skill, creativity, we're to prepare classic yet artistic dishes. Will we take it? Will our cuisine reign supreme!
Tiny Tizzy: Allez Cuisine!
Elena: Okay, no need to panic, Um..okay, Ms. Mittens, what do you have planned for dinner for the family tonight?
Ms. Mittens: (with mms, and oos of appreciation and culinary anticipation from the others) My plans for tonight's dinner are a pecan encrusted, Maplewood smoked goose stuffed with morels and black truffles in a Flemish deBourgogne reduction sauce. Diced apple and acorn squash simmered in a champagne butter glaze. Baby red potatoes boiled in bay leaf and sage water, with Foie Gras Gravy served dans un plat de chat, And for desert, pumpkin pie crème brulee in an orange zest and spice phylo sheet dough shell..(beat) Bu-ut-, you didn't have most of that stuff and as this is my first time actually cooking so we're going with canned cranberry sauce, canned green beans, a packet of instant potatoes, and a pre-made frozen pie. (others audibly slump in disappointment. Ms. Mittens exits) oh, and roast goose of course.
CitH: It will cause you dismay, but I've looked at the clock and I just have to say, in the immortal words of James May 'Oh cock!'
Elena: What? (looks at clock. It's an analog wall clock that runs on batteries) Wait...Oh no! The batteries must have died! It's been saying 5:30since (gets cellphone out of pocket, screams) They'll be here ten minutes!
CitH: No need to panic, they're your family! They won't treat you like (hesitates) an, eleven, legged, glorping-gomily.
All but CitH: What?
CitH: I couldn't think of a rhyme for family okay!?
Ms. Mittens: (coming in with food) It's all ready! (Others help eagerly, bringing in green beans, cranberry-still in can shape-, mash potatoes a tiny bowl, a large stock pot of gravy, and basket full of dinner rolls....but no goose)
Elena: Where's the goose?
Ms. Mittens: It just needs a bit more time...
Elena: But they'll be here in fi-(Door bell rings, Elena gasps, Ms Mittens, scooter, and tiny tizzy dash away) They're here now!
(family lets themselves in. Sister looks disgusted and annoyed, the mother looks disdainful and imperious.)
Brother: (singing as he enters) For-eign-er (Drawing out the word so it fills up the same amount of time as 'Gloria' in 'Angels we have heard on high', then laughing) Oh god I never get tired of that! That is hilarious!
Frank: (overexuberantly) How's my favorite youngest daughter? Say, where's your drinks cabinet at? (heads over without waiting for any sort or response, starts mixing up a drink.)
Elena (Scared with facade of casual cheeerfulness) Mom, dad, so glad to see you! Please, come in.
Sister: Ugh! I hope nothings canned like it was last year.
Sara: Vivian! Is that any way to behave towards someone who couldn't marry someone like you had?
Vivian: I'm sorry. I guess I'm just in a mood.. He took some bad stock advice and lost a fortune, well I had to divorce him then and there, then I had to dump Thomas when I heard that he wasn't going to be hired by that law firm, (change in attitude towards hopeful/sultry) but I heard Michael is up for a substantial promotion, and he's single.
(Elena gives a disgusted eye roll behind her sister's back.)
Elena: Oh! I'm sorry, here, let me take your coats. (starts gathering coats. Tiny Tizzy enters trepidly, then is shoved on by Ms. Mittens and Scooter.
Tiny Tizzy: (tongue tied) uh-h-h-
Sara: Hello, I don't think we've met.(to Elena:) You never told me you had company.)
Elena: (Panicking but thinking quickly) Oh Um, mom, this is, this is, um, Tim/Tina from, from work!
Sara: You never mentioned anything about making friends at work. (holds out hand for Tiny Tizzy to shake.) I'm Sara _____ Elena's mother.
(Tiny Tizzy sniffs at Sara's fingers, then rubs up against them while Elena frantically, surreptitiously tries to get him to shake hands.)
Sara: Well! That certainly was an interesting greeting.
Elena: He, he spent the better part of a decade in-n, Estonia!
Sara: Oh, my! how interesting! (Tiny Tizzy takes the coats, to a couch. Then proceeds to throw him/herself on top of them and roll around ecstatically)
Elena: And this is Scoo, Sco, Sco,Scott! (fake, nervous laugh) excuse me! Scott! (Grabs Scooter's hand and shoves it into her mother's.) and Ms. Mittens.
Vivian: Say, isn't one of your cats also named Ms. Mit-
Elena: (Interrupting with conviviality) Ha-Ha why yes! That is one life's little interesting coincidences! However this is, (Ms. Mittens leans and looks over Sara's shoulder, sees a book or a newspaper.)
Ms. Mittens: Call me....Mitzi.
Brother: Yeah. Hi to all of ya. Can we eat now? I'll have a beer.
Elena: Yes! Shall we sit?
(Everyone finds a seat, with the now human cats seated together at one end, and the family at the other.)
Vivian: Is one of us planning on saying Grace first or are we just goi- (Brother, Scott, and Tiny Tizzy have already started serving themselves) never mind.
Brother: (taking note that there's barely enough for a 1/8 cup each of mash potatoes per person) Was there a severe potato shortage this year I didn't know about?
Vivian: Certainly can't say the same for the gravy!
Brother: Wasn't aware that you could get it by the barrel!
(Elena shoots Ms. Mittens a questioning look who isn't comprehending.)
Sara: Say, what is this green stuff in the potatoes?
Vivian: Oh God! I knew it! The beans are canned!
Brother: Hey, I'm still waiting on that beer y'know.
Elena: The potatoes? That's um...
Ms. Mittens: That's Catnip!
(Sara, and Vivian set their spoons down and regard their plates with suspicion. Frank and Brother keep eating with relish)
Brother: Catnip, really? That turned out to be a really great idea!
Sara: Mm, yes, well considering where we are, the catnip shouldn't come as a surprise. Tell me dear, you're not planning on serving any 'pate'' are you?
Elena: Um, no.
Vivian: I think there's some in the green beans too.
(Elena shoots Ms. Mittens an inquiring look. CitH enters with a goose on a platter)
CitH: All hail! All hail! The goose is here without fail!
(Sounds of approval from everyone but Sara)
Sara: Looks good, lets see if its as dry as last years. Though I suspect maybe it is judging by the amount of gravy you've provided.
CitH: (while slicing up goose) If the gravy is for meat that is a little too dry, perhaps you too then should wear some. I really feel you should give it a try.
Sara: Just who are you?!
Elena: He's-
CitH: I'm the Cat in the Hat! Not to be confused with the Rat in the Mat or the Bat in the Vat.
Sara: (uncertain) Indeed. (To Elena, with sarcasm) Another co-worker of yours?
Brother: Say, what's all these little flecks of green stuff on the goose?
Ms. Mittens: That's catnip! (Elena cough-chokes but recovers quickly)
Vivian: What's the matter? Didn't have anything else on your spice rack?
Scooter: (an aside to Ms. Mittens)Excellent job Ms. Mitzi on all of this, but I don't think the catnip is doing anything for us while we're like this.
Ms. Mittens: (sighs in defeat) Yes, I'm afraid you're right.
Frank: You really outdid yourself this time honey, this goose is done to perfection! (sotto voiced to Sara) No way she and her whack job friends could have made this. Looks like she'll hit me up for a check so she can pay what ever chef she gave her sob story to.
Brother: Say, I'm still waiting on that beer.
Elena: Oh, sorry! They're in the fridge, what kind did you want?
Brother: Duh! A beer! What else kind is there?
Elena: Oh, yes, of course, silly me! I'll be right back (starts to get up, Ms. Mittens motions her back down.)
Ms. Mittens: No, you keep eating, I'll get it.
Elena: But all day you've been in the kitc-
Ms. Mittens: (Gently interrupting) And you've been doing much more than that for far longer. I will get him his, beer. (Exits)
CitH: Yes sir, for you, you need no fear of being served a rauschbier. A stout? We'll just throw that right out! A saison? Why sir you'd have no reason! A trappist ale would never do well. Yes sir it's true, we have a beer with as much taste as you. (Ms. Mittens gives Brother a really cheap, off brand American adjunct lager.)
Brother: Yeah! Natty Light! The man has taste!
Sara: (Loudly dropping fork and knife on plate.) Catnip on everything, watery, instant potatoes, canned beans, an absolutely asinine amount of gravy, you're not married yet, which quite frankly if this is the type of friends you've acquired I only hope that you never do. You have so far tonight lived up to every one of my exceedingly low expectations.
(Ms. Mittens looks ready to commit murder, Scooter, and CitH are trying to hold her down and look casual at the same time.)
Vivian: You do this every year, mother. If we had it a my house we could have a professional chef, and we wouldn't be surrounded by all this (wants to say 'crap') stuff.
Sara: Your sister insists on doing this dear, and she tries, God bless her heart, she really tries to give us an old fashioned, home cooked, holiday meal. (as an aside) Even if it is one that would make Ebenezer Scrooge give up on Christmas again.
Frank: I think she did an excellent job. Okay, cat nip everything is a bit weird but what can you expect from someone who spends all day with the damn things and not out there trying to get up that corporate ladder or finding a man to support her who can.
Vivian: Ha! Like any man would want to be with her for more than two seconds!
CitH: As opposed to you, who is with a new man every two seconds one could recon?
Vivian: (gasps) I never!
CitH: (Suggestive double entendre) Oh, I'm sure you have, many times. Would you could you with a goat? Would you could you, in a boat? Would you could you in a box? Would you could you with a fox? I'd say, yes. And I'm sure you'd say (mock orgasm) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Vivian: Mother!!
Sara: As much as he needs a straight jacket more than a dinner jacket he is a very astute observer, Vivian. I've got one child who can't get a man and another who has no problem getting them but can't keep them, and a son who thinks a woman is something you see on certain websites one finds online.
Brother: Oh to hell with this! I'm leaving!
Frank: No you are not! Sit down!
Brother: Then you tell her to shut up!
Vivian: That's your mother you're speaking to!
Mother: You do not use that tone of voice around me!
Brother: I'll use any tone I want to!
Frank: Well here we are at it again! (to Sara) You want Norman Rockwell instead we get Norman Bates. Are you happy Sara or do you need a drink?
(Beat. Sara, Frank, Vivian, and Brother all stand up and start yelling at each other, Elena and the cats sit in shocked silence, giving each other scared, sympathetic looks. Elena looks uncertain, and in despair, looks to the cats for help, but there's nothing they can do. Elena gives a sigh of determination, stands up, grabs the stock pot of gravy, and dumps it over her family.)
Elena: Now that the unmarriable crazy cat lady has your attention. There's a few things I'd like to say.
[Lacuna Elena Monologue]
(Sfx of loud can opener)
CitH: (aside to Ms. Mittens, Scooter, Tiny Tizzy. Elena is still talking but it's more gestures and pantomime now) That's my cue, I'm afraid I'll have to bid you adieu
Ms. Mittens: I understand, and thank you.
Scooter: Yes, thank you, we couldn't have pulled this off without you.
Tiny Tizzy: Take me with you!
CitH: (Tinny recording of 'As Time Goes By' plays in the background) Where I'm going you can't follow, what I'm doing you can't be any part of. Look kid, I know it' not worth a hill of dog kibble in this crazy, mixed up world but if anything, we'll always have uh, this place. (beat) Here's me looking at you kid. (exits, then returns) I've always wanted to use those lines before leaving someplace! (exits, Elena's voice regains volume but is soon drowned out and Elena is pantomiming a rant again as a pink light and ominous, creepy low-alpha wave music that is coming from the kitchen grows steadily brighter and louder, and brighter until it is so bright it's all Elena can see. She is surrounded by an aura of pink. The light is making a stark outline of a small, white, cat like being. This cat, Hello Kitty, steps forward)
(Cat in the Hat --CitH, enters, visible to audience but still slightly off stage. SFX door bell, rings once, pauses. Elena gets part way up, not sure if she heard it. Door bell rings twice.)
Elena: (walks to door, doorbell rings 4x) Hold on! (doorbell goes spastic) I said (Elena reaches the door and yanks it open violently) Hol- (She's cuts herself off in surprise as CitH is standing there having way too much fun with the door bell. CitH stops, and composes himself.)
CitH: Elena _________?
Elena: I'd ask 'who are you?' but I think I can take a pretty good guess. The Cat in the Hat?
CitH: Sure as I like green eggs and ham, why yes I am! Mind if I come in? I'm here to make a dinner that's sure to win. (CitH lets himself in, Elena holds it open expecting more.)
Elena: Don't you have a Thing 1 and a Thing 2 that usually travel with you?
CitH: That is usually true, I do, but your own cats now helpers true will make a fantabulous One and Two!
Elena: (indicating Tiny Tizzy) What about the third?
CitH: It's your thing, do what you want to do. I can't tell you who-
Elena: (Interrupting) I get it, I understand!
CitH: That's grand!
Elena: Do you always have to rhyme?
CitH: No. (Elena Breathes sigh of relief) Not all the time.
Elena: (Looks at clock) Aack! They'll be here in an hour!
Scooter: One hour to tackle today's holiday dinner. Using all our senses, skill, creativity, we're to prepare classic yet artistic dishes. Will we take it? Will our cuisine reign supreme!
Tiny Tizzy: Allez Cuisine!
Elena: Okay, no need to panic, Um..okay, Ms. Mittens, what do you have planned for dinner for the family tonight?
Ms. Mittens: (with mms, and oos of appreciation and culinary anticipation from the others) My plans for tonight's dinner are a pecan encrusted, Maplewood smoked goose stuffed with morels and black truffles in a Flemish deBourgogne reduction sauce. Diced apple and acorn squash simmered in a champagne butter glaze. Baby red potatoes boiled in bay leaf and sage water, with Foie Gras Gravy served dans un plat de chat, And for desert, pumpkin pie crème brulee in an orange zest and spice phylo sheet dough shell..(beat) Bu-ut-, you didn't have most of that stuff and as this is my first time actually cooking so we're going with canned cranberry sauce, canned green beans, a packet of instant potatoes, and a pre-made frozen pie. (others audibly slump in disappointment. Ms. Mittens exits) oh, and roast goose of course.
CitH: It will cause you dismay, but I've looked at the clock and I just have to say, in the immortal words of James May 'Oh cock!'
Elena: What? (looks at clock. It's an analog wall clock that runs on batteries) Wait...Oh no! The batteries must have died! It's been saying 5:30since (gets cellphone out of pocket, screams) They'll be here ten minutes!
CitH: No need to panic, they're your family! They won't treat you like (hesitates) an, eleven, legged, glorping-gomily.
All but CitH: What?
CitH: I couldn't think of a rhyme for family okay!?
Ms. Mittens: (coming in with food) It's all ready! (Others help eagerly, bringing in green beans, cranberry-still in can shape-, mash potatoes a tiny bowl, a large stock pot of gravy, and basket full of dinner rolls....but no goose)
Elena: Where's the goose?
Ms. Mittens: It just needs a bit more time...
Elena: But they'll be here in fi-(Door bell rings, Elena gasps, Ms Mittens, scooter, and tiny tizzy dash away) They're here now!
(family lets themselves in. Sister looks disgusted and annoyed, the mother looks disdainful and imperious.)
Brother: (singing as he enters) For-eign-er (Drawing out the word so it fills up the same amount of time as 'Gloria' in 'Angels we have heard on high', then laughing) Oh god I never get tired of that! That is hilarious!
Frank: (overexuberantly) How's my favorite youngest daughter? Say, where's your drinks cabinet at? (heads over without waiting for any sort or response, starts mixing up a drink.)
Elena (Scared with facade of casual cheeerfulness) Mom, dad, so glad to see you! Please, come in.
Sister: Ugh! I hope nothings canned like it was last year.
Sara: Vivian! Is that any way to behave towards someone who couldn't marry someone like you had?
Vivian: I'm sorry. I guess I'm just in a mood.. He took some bad stock advice and lost a fortune, well I had to divorce him then and there, then I had to dump Thomas when I heard that he wasn't going to be hired by that law firm, (change in attitude towards hopeful/sultry) but I heard Michael is up for a substantial promotion, and he's single.
(Elena gives a disgusted eye roll behind her sister's back.)
Elena: Oh! I'm sorry, here, let me take your coats. (starts gathering coats. Tiny Tizzy enters trepidly, then is shoved on by Ms. Mittens and Scooter.
Tiny Tizzy: (tongue tied) uh-h-h-
Sara: Hello, I don't think we've met.(to Elena:) You never told me you had company.)
Elena: (Panicking but thinking quickly) Oh Um, mom, this is, this is, um, Tim/Tina from, from work!
Sara: You never mentioned anything about making friends at work. (holds out hand for Tiny Tizzy to shake.) I'm Sara _____ Elena's mother.
(Tiny Tizzy sniffs at Sara's fingers, then rubs up against them while Elena frantically, surreptitiously tries to get him to shake hands.)
Sara: Well! That certainly was an interesting greeting.
Elena: He, he spent the better part of a decade in-n, Estonia!
Sara: Oh, my! how interesting! (Tiny Tizzy takes the coats, to a couch. Then proceeds to throw him/herself on top of them and roll around ecstatically)
Elena: And this is Scoo, Sco, Sco,Scott! (fake, nervous laugh) excuse me! Scott! (Grabs Scooter's hand and shoves it into her mother's.) and Ms. Mittens.
Vivian: Say, isn't one of your cats also named Ms. Mit-
Elena: (Interrupting with conviviality) Ha-Ha why yes! That is one life's little interesting coincidences! However this is, (Ms. Mittens leans and looks over Sara's shoulder, sees a book or a newspaper.)
Ms. Mittens: Call me....Mitzi.
Brother: Yeah. Hi to all of ya. Can we eat now? I'll have a beer.
Elena: Yes! Shall we sit?
(Everyone finds a seat, with the now human cats seated together at one end, and the family at the other.)
Vivian: Is one of us planning on saying Grace first or are we just goi- (Brother, Scott, and Tiny Tizzy have already started serving themselves) never mind.
Brother: (taking note that there's barely enough for a 1/8 cup each of mash potatoes per person) Was there a severe potato shortage this year I didn't know about?
Vivian: Certainly can't say the same for the gravy!
Brother: Wasn't aware that you could get it by the barrel!
(Elena shoots Ms. Mittens a questioning look who isn't comprehending.)
Sara: Say, what is this green stuff in the potatoes?
Vivian: Oh God! I knew it! The beans are canned!
Brother: Hey, I'm still waiting on that beer y'know.
Elena: The potatoes? That's um...
Ms. Mittens: That's Catnip!
(Sara, and Vivian set their spoons down and regard their plates with suspicion. Frank and Brother keep eating with relish)
Brother: Catnip, really? That turned out to be a really great idea!
Sara: Mm, yes, well considering where we are, the catnip shouldn't come as a surprise. Tell me dear, you're not planning on serving any 'pate'' are you?
Elena: Um, no.
Vivian: I think there's some in the green beans too.
(Elena shoots Ms. Mittens an inquiring look. CitH enters with a goose on a platter)
CitH: All hail! All hail! The goose is here without fail!
(Sounds of approval from everyone but Sara)
Sara: Looks good, lets see if its as dry as last years. Though I suspect maybe it is judging by the amount of gravy you've provided.
CitH: (while slicing up goose) If the gravy is for meat that is a little too dry, perhaps you too then should wear some. I really feel you should give it a try.
Sara: Just who are you?!
Elena: He's-
CitH: I'm the Cat in the Hat! Not to be confused with the Rat in the Mat or the Bat in the Vat.
Sara: (uncertain) Indeed. (To Elena, with sarcasm) Another co-worker of yours?
Brother: Say, what's all these little flecks of green stuff on the goose?
Ms. Mittens: That's catnip! (Elena cough-chokes but recovers quickly)
Vivian: What's the matter? Didn't have anything else on your spice rack?
Scooter: (an aside to Ms. Mittens)Excellent job Ms. Mitzi on all of this, but I don't think the catnip is doing anything for us while we're like this.
Ms. Mittens: (sighs in defeat) Yes, I'm afraid you're right.
Frank: You really outdid yourself this time honey, this goose is done to perfection! (sotto voiced to Sara) No way she and her whack job friends could have made this. Looks like she'll hit me up for a check so she can pay what ever chef she gave her sob story to.
Brother: Say, I'm still waiting on that beer.
Elena: Oh, sorry! They're in the fridge, what kind did you want?
Brother: Duh! A beer! What else kind is there?
Elena: Oh, yes, of course, silly me! I'll be right back (starts to get up, Ms. Mittens motions her back down.)
Ms. Mittens: No, you keep eating, I'll get it.
Elena: But all day you've been in the kitc-
Ms. Mittens: (Gently interrupting) And you've been doing much more than that for far longer. I will get him his, beer. (Exits)
CitH: Yes sir, for you, you need no fear of being served a rauschbier. A stout? We'll just throw that right out! A saison? Why sir you'd have no reason! A trappist ale would never do well. Yes sir it's true, we have a beer with as much taste as you. (Ms. Mittens gives Brother a really cheap, off brand American adjunct lager.)
Brother: Yeah! Natty Light! The man has taste!
Sara: (Loudly dropping fork and knife on plate.) Catnip on everything, watery, instant potatoes, canned beans, an absolutely asinine amount of gravy, you're not married yet, which quite frankly if this is the type of friends you've acquired I only hope that you never do. You have so far tonight lived up to every one of my exceedingly low expectations.
(Ms. Mittens looks ready to commit murder, Scooter, and CitH are trying to hold her down and look casual at the same time.)
Vivian: You do this every year, mother. If we had it a my house we could have a professional chef, and we wouldn't be surrounded by all this (wants to say 'crap') stuff.
Sara: Your sister insists on doing this dear, and she tries, God bless her heart, she really tries to give us an old fashioned, home cooked, holiday meal. (as an aside) Even if it is one that would make Ebenezer Scrooge give up on Christmas again.
Frank: I think she did an excellent job. Okay, cat nip everything is a bit weird but what can you expect from someone who spends all day with the damn things and not out there trying to get up that corporate ladder or finding a man to support her who can.
Vivian: Ha! Like any man would want to be with her for more than two seconds!
CitH: As opposed to you, who is with a new man every two seconds one could recon?
Vivian: (gasps) I never!
CitH: (Suggestive double entendre) Oh, I'm sure you have, many times. Would you could you with a goat? Would you could you, in a boat? Would you could you in a box? Would you could you with a fox? I'd say, yes. And I'm sure you'd say (mock orgasm) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Vivian: Mother!!
Sara: As much as he needs a straight jacket more than a dinner jacket he is a very astute observer, Vivian. I've got one child who can't get a man and another who has no problem getting them but can't keep them, and a son who thinks a woman is something you see on certain websites one finds online.
Brother: Oh to hell with this! I'm leaving!
Frank: No you are not! Sit down!
Brother: Then you tell her to shut up!
Vivian: That's your mother you're speaking to!
Mother: You do not use that tone of voice around me!
Brother: I'll use any tone I want to!
Frank: Well here we are at it again! (to Sara) You want Norman Rockwell instead we get Norman Bates. Are you happy Sara or do you need a drink?
(Beat. Sara, Frank, Vivian, and Brother all stand up and start yelling at each other, Elena and the cats sit in shocked silence, giving each other scared, sympathetic looks. Elena looks uncertain, and in despair, looks to the cats for help, but there's nothing they can do. Elena gives a sigh of determination, stands up, grabs the stock pot of gravy, and dumps it over her family.)
Elena: Now that the unmarriable crazy cat lady has your attention. There's a few things I'd like to say.
[Lacuna Elena Monologue]
(Sfx of loud can opener)
CitH: (aside to Ms. Mittens, Scooter, Tiny Tizzy. Elena is still talking but it's more gestures and pantomime now) That's my cue, I'm afraid I'll have to bid you adieu
Ms. Mittens: I understand, and thank you.
Scooter: Yes, thank you, we couldn't have pulled this off without you.
Tiny Tizzy: Take me with you!
CitH: (Tinny recording of 'As Time Goes By' plays in the background) Where I'm going you can't follow, what I'm doing you can't be any part of. Look kid, I know it' not worth a hill of dog kibble in this crazy, mixed up world but if anything, we'll always have uh, this place. (beat) Here's me looking at you kid. (exits, then returns) I've always wanted to use those lines before leaving someplace! (exits, Elena's voice regains volume but is soon drowned out and Elena is pantomiming a rant again as a pink light and ominous, creepy low-alpha wave music that is coming from the kitchen grows steadily brighter and louder, and brighter until it is so bright it's all Elena can see. She is surrounded by an aura of pink. The light is making a stark outline of a small, white, cat like being. This cat, Hello Kitty, steps forward)
Category Story / All
Species Housecat
Size 720 x 1280px
File Size 133.1 kB
Comments