I think it's great. :3

I love both versions~
The rough looks neat because it's got a load of personality, and sketches usually seem more detailed than they actually are. The inks are just as nice, though.
Can I ask what program you used to ink? It makes me think of SAI but I could be wrong.

Heh. I love ~you~

I used Illustrator CS4, actually. Just made a 1-3pt calligraphic brush and went at it. Being a FILTHY FILTHY MAC USER, I am unable to use SAI.

No, no, that's cool~
My bf is a HORRIBLE HEATHEN MAC USER. But I still love him~
That's neat, though. I have a friend who uses Illustrator and his stuff looks neato. I might try it out.

I get super-duper discounts on my Mac stuff, working for 'em and all~

But yeah, it's not the software that makes inking hard for me, it's the thought process and style of it. My stuff tends to have too much variation and becoming muddy and thoughtless. I should really try to work with a smaller range of width.

oh fff
NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING PICKY
I like having a wide range of width because it's practical. You don't have to change sizes constantly, and it's not too hard to keep a constant pressure going to making the inking look even. And if it's not even, just make it thicker or thin it out. :>
I dunno what you mean by thoughtless, it looks very clean and precise to me. Buuut if that's not what you're aiming for, I guess I could see where it's going wrong...

I think it's because the lines vary TOO much and the line thickness isn't highlighting larger or prominent areas, and seems random. I can't look at it from a distance and see the major parts, I think.

Well if you think that might be the problem, it's not too hard to even everything out, I don't think.
Unless using Illustrator is a huge pain in the ass, and I could be wrong. /:lc

I really like the feel of your lines, they have a very natural smoothness that's a lot of fun to just look at~
To be honest tho I think you could try focusing on being more consistent with line width, but I saw your comment above so its obvious you're already aware of that C=

Yeah. I'm thinking if I reduce some of the width fidelity, I can keep that under control. What I can also do is if I use Illustrator, I can select the line and retroactively adjust the width.