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I've been asking this question a lot lately. Who am I truly? Should I hide behind some facade or should I just explain who I am at the risk of people not liking me? I feel like I've just copied so many ideas off of the people that I hugely admire, in some vain attempt to be their friend or to be involved in their work somehow. This isn't something that I struggling with recently, this feeling has always been around, and with it getting closer to next year, the year that I leave for Uni, that feeling has grown. I feel scared to fully open up to people, most of all my family. I've lied about countless things to hide who I am truly, I'm afraid of them not liking who I am, or that I might change and leave them for no good reason. I just hide behind this screen. I worry that I won't have anyone to talk to, that's why I constantly ask people to RP with me, I just feel like I'm struggling trying to keep up with some facade that I have made for myself. I apologise so much to people because I don't want people to see the cynical, depressive, annoying, rude, critical, anxious side to me. I don't like that version of me. I've never liked that version of me, yet it is the one that I see myself as all the time.
I hate change sometimes, but I desperately need it. I worry that I'm not truly in control of who I actually want to be.
I want to be me... just better than I am now...
This was some vent art that I made during my short and depressing trip, my anxiety and OCD were already making it difficult for me to just go outside and see the beautiful view. During that time, I just struggled with dealing with my anxiety, constantly worrying about if my life has any meaning at all. When I look at that mirror, I don't see someone happy with his life, I just see this sad, mopey, lazy jackass who won't do anything but complain. This person who just constantly asks people to do something with him or to just talk to him because he just won't go outside to find people to talk to. I don't like him. I am him. I'm sorry for this.
I hate change sometimes, but I desperately need it. I worry that I'm not truly in control of who I actually want to be.
I want to be me... just better than I am now...
This was some vent art that I made during my short and depressing trip, my anxiety and OCD were already making it difficult for me to just go outside and see the beautiful view. During that time, I just struggled with dealing with my anxiety, constantly worrying about if my life has any meaning at all. When I look at that mirror, I don't see someone happy with his life, I just see this sad, mopey, lazy jackass who won't do anything but complain. This person who just constantly asks people to do something with him or to just talk to him because he just won't go outside to find people to talk to. I don't like him. I am him. I'm sorry for this.
Category Artwork (Traditional) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 905px
File Size 156.7 kB
You know, that part of you that you don't like, that part that you don't like because you don't want others to see it...
Yeah, that's the REAL you that you're hiding.
Why do you suppress who you truly are for the benefit of others? Why do you feel you have to?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you are wrong for doing so - in my experience, you are going to have a bad time in society if you don't pretend to be something you aren't. But that's the point of the question - are you sure you want to be part of a society that requires you to suppress your true nature, your true identity, in favor of one more acceptable to the majority of people.
Do you want to be yourself, or do you want to be what is expected of you by others, and who are these others and why do they have such sway in your life?
Yeah, that's the REAL you that you're hiding.
Why do you suppress who you truly are for the benefit of others? Why do you feel you have to?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you are wrong for doing so - in my experience, you are going to have a bad time in society if you don't pretend to be something you aren't. But that's the point of the question - are you sure you want to be part of a society that requires you to suppress your true nature, your true identity, in favor of one more acceptable to the majority of people.
Do you want to be yourself, or do you want to be what is expected of you by others, and who are these others and why do they have such sway in your life?
I just want to be liked, and I've lost so many people due to what I like and what I dislike. I've shunned people out of my life that really don't deserve it, I know that it's horrible to do so, but I still do it. I feel like an awful person, I've treated so many people badly in my life. I don't know who myself is anymore, I just want people to like me. These people are just people who I admire and I just feel like if I show who I really am, I'll end up doing the same thing to them, the same horrible things that my previous friends have seen me do.
Why is it so important that other people like you? Isn't it more important that you like yourself?
Take a second and just step back from everything and look at it from an outside perspective. See yourself as just another person and see yourself in relation to everyone else. They probably want the same as you, to be liked. But if everyone just wants everyone else to like them, what does that mean? What do they have to be like? You can't know, and only if there is someone directing how everyone should be can there be any reference point as to what you should be like for everyone to like you.
So, from that perspective, what you should see is that you have to like yourself, you have to want to be someone YOU like, someone YOU want to be around. If you can do that, if you can be someone YOU want to be around, then only people who you want around you will be around you, right?
What people think of you should not be important to you. What should be important is how you affect people. If you know in your heart you are a good person who treats everyone as they would like everyone to treat them, then what people think of you shouldn't matter, should it? Because how can you know those around you are actually good people if you aren't a good person yourself? If you are judging yourself only by others around you and everyone around you are bad people themselves, then you are judging yourself by what bad people think of you, right?
So ignore what people think, be as good a person, as much like the kind of people you want around you, and without any effort, you will find yourself surrounded only by that kind of people.
And if not, then it means you are surrounded by nothing but bad people, and perhaps you should find different people to be around, even if that means moving to another country or something.
Take a second and just step back from everything and look at it from an outside perspective. See yourself as just another person and see yourself in relation to everyone else. They probably want the same as you, to be liked. But if everyone just wants everyone else to like them, what does that mean? What do they have to be like? You can't know, and only if there is someone directing how everyone should be can there be any reference point as to what you should be like for everyone to like you.
So, from that perspective, what you should see is that you have to like yourself, you have to want to be someone YOU like, someone YOU want to be around. If you can do that, if you can be someone YOU want to be around, then only people who you want around you will be around you, right?
What people think of you should not be important to you. What should be important is how you affect people. If you know in your heart you are a good person who treats everyone as they would like everyone to treat them, then what people think of you shouldn't matter, should it? Because how can you know those around you are actually good people if you aren't a good person yourself? If you are judging yourself only by others around you and everyone around you are bad people themselves, then you are judging yourself by what bad people think of you, right?
So ignore what people think, be as good a person, as much like the kind of people you want around you, and without any effort, you will find yourself surrounded only by that kind of people.
And if not, then it means you are surrounded by nothing but bad people, and perhaps you should find different people to be around, even if that means moving to another country or something.
I think a better question to ask is who do you want to be? After that the question becomes how do you get to that point?
The wonderful thing about our brains is we do have some control over how they work. Chemical imbalances will remain, of course, but we can change things like our perception and our thought processes. It takes hard work, because you're actually changing synaptic pathways in your brain, but it can be done. Discord me. Let's talk about it.
The wonderful thing about our brains is we do have some control over how they work. Chemical imbalances will remain, of course, but we can change things like our perception and our thought processes. It takes hard work, because you're actually changing synaptic pathways in your brain, but it can be done. Discord me. Let's talk about it.
I did something similar to this. I wrote "Personal issues" on this site and it got a few reviews. I think this is what inspired me to write it. I can easily relate to what you feel because I'm going down that road right now. I know this is two years old, but I still think this was the smartest thing for you to do.
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