How about this one? It'll give you superhuman strength for 3 hours, and there are no negative side-effects.
^{Aside from the whole "dissolving your bones" thing, I mean. I'm not sure why it does that. You probably won't die. Octopuses have no bones, and they don't die. _{I mean, we all die eventually, but you know what I mean.}}

I've not drawn my illegal potion wizard Jasper and his copious amounts of underwear in a few months. I've also never drawn him with only 2 legs. Maybe this is before he accidentally mutated himself, or maybe he's found a way to reverse it. Who knows! :D