I'm not sure in what mindset I should read this piece, that alone makes it hard to critique it. As I read this I was reminded of my sister's "Dear Diary" entires; yes she makes me read them. Mostly in how the thoughts are randomized in rapid fired succession and repeated again and again; as thought you just wanted it out of you. You were really letting your emtions and thoughts pour out of you as fast and uncontrolled as a nicked artery, it makes the writting as a whole hard to follow emotionally and intellectually.

Writtting has a timing and beat just like music, this rythme allows the reader to relax and anticipate the next step in your logic or description. When you make a point finish it move on, don't jump back and reiterate yourself; after all your points have been covered then wrap up by connected all your points together and just like music they should flow seamlessly from one view point, one emotion and one subject to another.

In part 2: You stated "That statement is a lie, an impossibility, an improbabilty, and a simple delusion of the mind."; this is confusing in that something shouldn't be listed as improbable, if it is in fact impossible. Its redundent and tends to cause readers to second guess your meaning. Later in this part you move from emtional discription to mathmatical exsamples; this causes the same second guessing in that I don't quite understand your point, besides the illusionment of distance to those who choose to believe something is unreachable, this math exsample is unnessasary.

If you don't like reusing the same words over and over then use synonyms, also making sure the words you use are in the correct connotation else we may interpret anger from a sentence when you had ment for it to be funny, sad etc.

As a whole your philosophical view points have merrit, but you need to choose whether you wish to express these ideals and discoveries in a pragmatic fasion or a an artistic fasion, such as prose poetry. You can do both, but not in the same sentence nor even the same paragraph. Thanks for inviting me to read this piece and I hope you continue to explode your perspesctive upon the world.

-Dyne D. Solweaver

Plz excuse syntax errors; its very late. Should have waited till morning to post.

Thank you for your constructive critisism. Last night, I was going to upload the revised version before you had a chance to read this version, but my internet broke, so I couldn't upload it. I'll upload it now.