Just some vent art. Due to how my life is just a wreck. I'm always feeling like everything is my fault I can't do anything right. I'm getting older and nothing has been getting any better, Yeah I have a job.. but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I still don't even know what I want in as a career. I am lonely and feel un-loved, Nothing but fighting in my family but my Mom is the only one that loves me without her I dunno where I'd be. She's my ultimate support, we have a lot of disagreements but she only wants the best for her son. I feel I have failed her as a son. She wants me to go to school again, School isn't for everybody. She want's me to dress more like an adult and listen to actual music. I can't help my music (noise) and lifestyle is what actually makes me happy. I can't get in a relationship. I've been single far too long and I want the perfect woman but why would anyone want me? Maybe it's just me? I'm going on to be 26 and time is just wasting away and I haven't achieved anything in my life and it scares me. All I freaking care about is videogames and my music and cars. Videogames are pretty much my addiction it all started thanks to the fucking achievements and trophies why did I have to be a perfectionist? It drains so much time into my life but it's like a bad smoking habit once you start you just can't stop. Same with crack and heroin. I spend too much money on 3 things games, music Records , CDs, Tapes, and car parts. I only make $11.00 an hour full time 40 hours a week. This isn't enough to live on... I've made Poor life choices I have consent regret depression I feel worthless, Not important. what's my purpose? I'm just Un-educated and a LOSER. I have trouble interacting with people and speaking in general fuck I can't talk like I use to what is wrong with me!? My mom wants me to stay faithful believe in God but I want too but I feel he's already abandoned me and I've failed him too.