Brace for yourself for a long description.

Life....is one of those mystery lollipops you get a bag of at the dollar store. You never know what you're going to get ever.
I'm a jolly person... I am, but it's something only just to ease through the struggle. Struggle of what though? What could possibly be ever wrong? Well, me & life. Yeah, I know, sometimes the cards in you are given aren't the best one. Make the most of it. It's easier said then done. It really is. No one can really ever understand fully what goes on with your mind or how it works. They can try to but it's not going to work. To be blunt or straight to the point... I have many issues. Anxiety, depression, paranoia, insecurities, etc. I want them to go away but that can be much easier said then then. "Suck it up" they say. "Deal with it"... It doesn't work like that... You want me to deal with it? Okay then, I have my solution right here if you want me to deal with it. But I know if I "dealt" with it... I know it will just be worse; however, the offer is still mighty tempting. That is for sure. People say that suicide is not the answer.... and it isn't... but...sometimes you just don't care. "Seek help". People have tried that... it's just not enough. Sometimes you can get all the affection from everyone and sometimes....that isn't even enough. What we want? I don't know... it's a mystery to many of us.. it's a mystery to me. Just know that we do cling for life....I try at least. It's hard though and it's battle not to end the story.
I wish you a goodnight, morning a evening whatever timezone you are in. Have a jolly day.