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More from Patty Thundersnow
My review of WrestleMainia 34
Another WrestleMania has come and gone. This is my review and assessment of how the event went.
How I’m going to do it: I’m going to review and assess the matches based on how well the match was received, how well the wrestling was, and my own viewpoints of the matches. I will also give how I would have booked the matches.
Match 1: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
The annual Andre the Giant Battle Royal started off a very stacked card. It featured 30 men who didn’t have much going for them, or rather no other match. Kane looked good in the match, and so did Goldust. “Woken” Matt Hardy ended up winning the match, with some assistance from a newly turned face Bray Wyatt. With Wyatt face, this opens the possibility of Woken Matt forming a tag team or stable with Wyatt.
Grade: 88/100 (B+)
How I would have booked it: I would have booked it the same way. Since Jeff Hardy/Brother Nero is still out with an injury, Woken Matt would still have won this match.
Match 2: Final of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament
Cedric Alexander v. Mustafa Ali
This match was fantastic. Both men had great chemistry with each other, making it a very good and entertaining match. Each exchanged finishers and ultimately, Cedric pulled it out.
Grade: 89/100 (B+)
How I would have booked it: I would have done the same thing. As much hell as Alexander was put through when Enzo was the Cruiserweight champion, he deserved this. I, however, would have brought back Neville after the match to taunt him.
Match 3: Inaugural WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal
This was another good match. It featured many of the women from both brands, including the two factions (Absolution and Riott Squad). At the end, it came down to Bayley and Sasha Banks, with Bayley eliminating Banks. Naomi, who was never eliminated, then dumped Bayley over the top rope to win.
Grade: 84/100 (B)
How I booked it: I would have given Bayley the win here. She’s, I believe, in the middle of a face/heel turn and with her winning, it would have given her a bit more heat. As is, this adds to her feud with Sasha.
Match 4: Triple Threat match for the Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (champ) v. Finn Balor v. Seth Rollins
Great match all around right here. After about a month of build up between these three men, it exploded. It ended with Rollins performing the Curb Stomp (or Blackout) on Balor and Miz, winning the match. In the process, Rollins became a grand slam champion.
Grade: 90/100 (A-)
How I would have booked it: Honestly, I think that Balor should have won, but I digress. Rollin’s win makes some history, so that’s something.
Match 5: Title v. Streak: one on one for the Smackdown Women’s Championship
Charlotte Flair (champ) v. Asuka
This match was a technical masterpiece, and perhaps the best match of the night. Both women gave each other everything that they had. Ultimately, Flair got Asuka to submit and thus became the one to break Asuka’s streak. After the match, they embraced in the ring.
Grade: 100/100 (A+)
How I would have booked it: I think it was booked perfectly honestly. Both Flair and Asuka are very technically gifted, so it made since to me that Flair would be the one to break the streak.
Match 6: Fatal 4 Way for the United States Championship
Randy Orton (champ) v. Bobby Roode v. Jinder Mahal v. Rusev
I disagree with the outcome of this match intirely. Jinder winning the WWE championship was enough, but him winning the US title will be just another foreign wrestler being US champion thing.
Grade: 72/100 (C-)
How I would have booked it: Rusev should be the US Champion. He is super over with his Rusev Day gimmick right now and would be popular as US champ.
Match 7: Mixed Tag Team Match
Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey v. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
And now we’re up to a grudge match between the two teams mentioned above. This match was Rowdy Ronda Rousey’s in ring debut. This match ended with Rousey forcing Stephanie to tap out to an armbar.
Grade: 80/100 (B-)
How I would have booked it: I think putting Angle and Rousey over here was the right call. I would have made it more of an ass kicking for Triple H through. He did take a couple Angle slams and an ankle lock.
Match 8: Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The New Day (Big E and Kofi) v. The Bludgeon Brothers (Harper and Rowan) Vs the Usos (champions)
This was a squash match if there ever was one. Harper and Rowan came out on top after completely dominating the match.
Grade: 66/100 (D)
How I would have booked it: I would have let the Bludgeon Brothers win this one, but not in such a dominant fashion. To have Harper and Rowan dominate two of the best teams in the WWE like this, it makes SmackDown’s tag division look weak.
Match 9: Impromptu one on one
Undertaker v. John Cena
The build up to this match was freaking crazy. The match… nowhere near as good. I know this was an impromptu match and all, but the Undertaker looks better than he has in a long freaking time. ‘Taker was definitely ready to go through more of a match than we got. What we got was a 3-minute ass beating by the Undertaker to John Cena. Basically, Cena got jobbed out to Undertaker here.
Grade: 50/100 (F)
How I would have booked it: I would have booked it so ‘Taker would appear at Raw to answer Cena. Each week, the two would grow madder at each other before having a batter at ‘Mania.
Match 10: Tag team match; return of Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon v. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
If Sami and Kevin win, they get their jobs back
My god it was great to see Daniel in the ring. TO begin with Sami and Kevin dominated the opening salvo because of the apron powerbomb to Daniel. After Daniel got into the match, the tides turned. Bryan made Sami Tap out with the Yes Lock, and thusly Owens and Sami remain without jobs. I think this will open the move to Raw for Sami and Kevin, as WWE should be having their Annual Superstar Shake up in the next week or two.
Grade: 95/100 (A)
How I would have booked it: It’s perfect as is. Daniel picking up the win here was perfect. As over as he’s been and continues to be, it’s a perfect ending to this match.
Match 11: One on One for the Raw Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (champ) w/ Mickie James v. Nia Jax
This was a grudge match if I ever did see one. As much abuse that Nia’s endured by Alexa, Alexa deserved every second of her ass whupping that she got. Nia ended winning the match and earning her first reign as the Raw Women’s Champion.
Grade: 77/100 (C+)
How I would have booked it: I agree with Nia winning here. This is completely overdue as far as I am concerned. However, I would have booked this match as either a triple threat or handicap match with Mickie James involved in a larger role. This would have let Nia get her hands on both Alexa and Mickie in the same match.
Match 12: One on One for the WWE Championship
AJ Styles (champ) v. Shinsuke Nakamura
These two know each other so well. Very evenly matched in this one, and AJ picked up the big win in SmackDown’s main event for Mania. After the match, Nakamura turned heel.
Grade: 94/100 (A)
How I would have booked it: This match was pretty much perfect, even Shinsuke’s heel turn was as well.
Match 13: Tag Team Match for the Raw Tag Team Championship
The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) v. Braun Strowman and a mystery partner
First, I didn’t like Strowman’s choice of partner here. He chose a kid from the audience. Let me say that again… HE CHOSE A KID FROM THE AUDIENCE. It was also pretty much a squash match, basically a typical Strowman type of match.
Grade: 56/100 (F)
How I would have booked it: Strowman’s partner should have been LITERALLY anyone else. Elias, Rey Mysterio, or maybe even Bobby Lashley would have been a better fit.
Match 14 (Main Event): One on One for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (champ) v. Roman Reigns
This was a complete clusterbuck. The crowd was totally out of it for the most part. NO ONE WANTED LESNAR TO RETAIN… NO ONE. Either the rumors of Lesnar leaving and going back to UFC were just a swerve or if he is taking the title with him. Either way, it was the wrong choice to let this part-time idiot win the match.
Grade: 10/100 (F-)
How I would have booked it: First, Lesnar would no longer be the champion. Reigns deserves it a whole hell of a lot more. This match would also NOT be the main event.
Overall Grade: 75% C
This WrestleMania was all over the place with the booking. 14 matches are way too many to watch as well. The swerve with Bray Wyatt was interesting at the beginning of the show. But, having Lesnar basically beat down Roman was the worst thing that they could have done. It is a disaster to continue to have a part time champion rather than have a full timer like Roman. Let’s hope that Lesnar drops the title soon. One year of Lesnar being champion is bad enough.
How I’m going to do it: I’m going to review and assess the matches based on how well the match was received, how well the wrestling was, and my own viewpoints of the matches. I will also give how I would have booked the matches.
Match 1: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
The annual Andre the Giant Battle Royal started off a very stacked card. It featured 30 men who didn’t have much going for them, or rather no other match. Kane looked good in the match, and so did Goldust. “Woken” Matt Hardy ended up winning the match, with some assistance from a newly turned face Bray Wyatt. With Wyatt face, this opens the possibility of Woken Matt forming a tag team or stable with Wyatt.
Grade: 88/100 (B+)
How I would have booked it: I would have booked it the same way. Since Jeff Hardy/Brother Nero is still out with an injury, Woken Matt would still have won this match.
Match 2: Final of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament
Cedric Alexander v. Mustafa Ali
This match was fantastic. Both men had great chemistry with each other, making it a very good and entertaining match. Each exchanged finishers and ultimately, Cedric pulled it out.
Grade: 89/100 (B+)
How I would have booked it: I would have done the same thing. As much hell as Alexander was put through when Enzo was the Cruiserweight champion, he deserved this. I, however, would have brought back Neville after the match to taunt him.
Match 3: Inaugural WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal
This was another good match. It featured many of the women from both brands, including the two factions (Absolution and Riott Squad). At the end, it came down to Bayley and Sasha Banks, with Bayley eliminating Banks. Naomi, who was never eliminated, then dumped Bayley over the top rope to win.
Grade: 84/100 (B)
How I booked it: I would have given Bayley the win here. She’s, I believe, in the middle of a face/heel turn and with her winning, it would have given her a bit more heat. As is, this adds to her feud with Sasha.
Match 4: Triple Threat match for the Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (champ) v. Finn Balor v. Seth Rollins
Great match all around right here. After about a month of build up between these three men, it exploded. It ended with Rollins performing the Curb Stomp (or Blackout) on Balor and Miz, winning the match. In the process, Rollins became a grand slam champion.
Grade: 90/100 (A-)
How I would have booked it: Honestly, I think that Balor should have won, but I digress. Rollin’s win makes some history, so that’s something.
Match 5: Title v. Streak: one on one for the Smackdown Women’s Championship
Charlotte Flair (champ) v. Asuka
This match was a technical masterpiece, and perhaps the best match of the night. Both women gave each other everything that they had. Ultimately, Flair got Asuka to submit and thus became the one to break Asuka’s streak. After the match, they embraced in the ring.
Grade: 100/100 (A+)
How I would have booked it: I think it was booked perfectly honestly. Both Flair and Asuka are very technically gifted, so it made since to me that Flair would be the one to break the streak.
Match 6: Fatal 4 Way for the United States Championship
Randy Orton (champ) v. Bobby Roode v. Jinder Mahal v. Rusev
I disagree with the outcome of this match intirely. Jinder winning the WWE championship was enough, but him winning the US title will be just another foreign wrestler being US champion thing.
Grade: 72/100 (C-)
How I would have booked it: Rusev should be the US Champion. He is super over with his Rusev Day gimmick right now and would be popular as US champ.
Match 7: Mixed Tag Team Match
Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey v. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
And now we’re up to a grudge match between the two teams mentioned above. This match was Rowdy Ronda Rousey’s in ring debut. This match ended with Rousey forcing Stephanie to tap out to an armbar.
Grade: 80/100 (B-)
How I would have booked it: I think putting Angle and Rousey over here was the right call. I would have made it more of an ass kicking for Triple H through. He did take a couple Angle slams and an ankle lock.
Match 8: Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The New Day (Big E and Kofi) v. The Bludgeon Brothers (Harper and Rowan) Vs the Usos (champions)
This was a squash match if there ever was one. Harper and Rowan came out on top after completely dominating the match.
Grade: 66/100 (D)
How I would have booked it: I would have let the Bludgeon Brothers win this one, but not in such a dominant fashion. To have Harper and Rowan dominate two of the best teams in the WWE like this, it makes SmackDown’s tag division look weak.
Match 9: Impromptu one on one
Undertaker v. John Cena
The build up to this match was freaking crazy. The match… nowhere near as good. I know this was an impromptu match and all, but the Undertaker looks better than he has in a long freaking time. ‘Taker was definitely ready to go through more of a match than we got. What we got was a 3-minute ass beating by the Undertaker to John Cena. Basically, Cena got jobbed out to Undertaker here.
Grade: 50/100 (F)
How I would have booked it: I would have booked it so ‘Taker would appear at Raw to answer Cena. Each week, the two would grow madder at each other before having a batter at ‘Mania.
Match 10: Tag team match; return of Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon v. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
If Sami and Kevin win, they get their jobs back
My god it was great to see Daniel in the ring. TO begin with Sami and Kevin dominated the opening salvo because of the apron powerbomb to Daniel. After Daniel got into the match, the tides turned. Bryan made Sami Tap out with the Yes Lock, and thusly Owens and Sami remain without jobs. I think this will open the move to Raw for Sami and Kevin, as WWE should be having their Annual Superstar Shake up in the next week or two.
Grade: 95/100 (A)
How I would have booked it: It’s perfect as is. Daniel picking up the win here was perfect. As over as he’s been and continues to be, it’s a perfect ending to this match.
Match 11: One on One for the Raw Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (champ) w/ Mickie James v. Nia Jax
This was a grudge match if I ever did see one. As much abuse that Nia’s endured by Alexa, Alexa deserved every second of her ass whupping that she got. Nia ended winning the match and earning her first reign as the Raw Women’s Champion.
Grade: 77/100 (C+)
How I would have booked it: I agree with Nia winning here. This is completely overdue as far as I am concerned. However, I would have booked this match as either a triple threat or handicap match with Mickie James involved in a larger role. This would have let Nia get her hands on both Alexa and Mickie in the same match.
Match 12: One on One for the WWE Championship
AJ Styles (champ) v. Shinsuke Nakamura
These two know each other so well. Very evenly matched in this one, and AJ picked up the big win in SmackDown’s main event for Mania. After the match, Nakamura turned heel.
Grade: 94/100 (A)
How I would have booked it: This match was pretty much perfect, even Shinsuke’s heel turn was as well.
Match 13: Tag Team Match for the Raw Tag Team Championship
The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) v. Braun Strowman and a mystery partner
First, I didn’t like Strowman’s choice of partner here. He chose a kid from the audience. Let me say that again… HE CHOSE A KID FROM THE AUDIENCE. It was also pretty much a squash match, basically a typical Strowman type of match.
Grade: 56/100 (F)
How I would have booked it: Strowman’s partner should have been LITERALLY anyone else. Elias, Rey Mysterio, or maybe even Bobby Lashley would have been a better fit.
Match 14 (Main Event): One on One for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (champ) v. Roman Reigns
This was a complete clusterbuck. The crowd was totally out of it for the most part. NO ONE WANTED LESNAR TO RETAIN… NO ONE. Either the rumors of Lesnar leaving and going back to UFC were just a swerve or if he is taking the title with him. Either way, it was the wrong choice to let this part-time idiot win the match.
Grade: 10/100 (F-)
How I would have booked it: First, Lesnar would no longer be the champion. Reigns deserves it a whole hell of a lot more. This match would also NOT be the main event.
Overall Grade: 75% C
This WrestleMania was all over the place with the booking. 14 matches are way too many to watch as well. The swerve with Bray Wyatt was interesting at the beginning of the show. But, having Lesnar basically beat down Roman was the worst thing that they could have done. It is a disaster to continue to have a part time champion rather than have a full timer like Roman. Let’s hope that Lesnar drops the title soon. One year of Lesnar being champion is bad enough.
Category Poetry / All
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