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Lampshade Weasel: the Renew!
Sitting quietly before a roasting fire, the Lampshade Weasel sets down his phone and reflects, wondering if he’s chosen wisely. Finally he nods and agrees with himself. “Yes, I suppose I do like Mudkips.”
Behind him sways in his gothic lolita maid, who is certainly of legal age to do whatever a weasel would have a young Asian girl do. She leans in and gives his head a soft kiss them bows away from him. Slipping a tiny clawed hand under her skirt, he retrieves his next letter.
Slitting it open with a tiny claw, he pulls out the letter and gives it a once over.
“Dear Lampshade Weasel: I read on a bumper sticker that Obama’s Healthcare Plan is gonna be like Logan’s Run. Is this true?”
Smirking, the Weasel looks thoughtfully towards the readers as he scratches his little fuzzy chin. “Well, while the movie was entertaining, I’ve not had the time to read the book. I’d say Mr. President is probably not going to be using it as the basis to his Healthcare Program. For starters he, his wife, his Secretary of State, and to my knowledge his Cabinet and drinking buddies are well past the age of thirty. So they’d be in essence killing themselves.
“Secondly, while there are a number of old people that do need to pass on from this life, there are plenty of younger people that could be disposed of as well. Think about it: if you’re going to kill millions upon millions across the country, would any sane and rational fellow leave out Paris Hilton? I think not.
“And third and finally, what… you don’t want to participate in Carousel? It’s the time to Renew! Don’t you want to renew? Everyone else that’s thirty’s doing it. We’d miss you if you didn’t come along and renew. RENEW!”
Settling back smugly in his incredibly comfy chair, the weasel smiles softly as his maid begins to gently tickle his toes. “Besides, even if it did happen… I’m only six. I’ve still got plenty of time on you humans to keep living the good life!”
Sitting quietly before a roasting fire, the Lampshade Weasel sets down his phone and reflects, wondering if he’s chosen wisely. Finally he nods and agrees with himself. “Yes, I suppose I do like Mudkips.”
Behind him sways in his gothic lolita maid, who is certainly of legal age to do whatever a weasel would have a young Asian girl do. She leans in and gives his head a soft kiss them bows away from him. Slipping a tiny clawed hand under her skirt, he retrieves his next letter.
Slitting it open with a tiny claw, he pulls out the letter and gives it a once over.
“Dear Lampshade Weasel: I read on a bumper sticker that Obama’s Healthcare Plan is gonna be like Logan’s Run. Is this true?”
Smirking, the Weasel looks thoughtfully towards the readers as he scratches his little fuzzy chin. “Well, while the movie was entertaining, I’ve not had the time to read the book. I’d say Mr. President is probably not going to be using it as the basis to his Healthcare Program. For starters he, his wife, his Secretary of State, and to my knowledge his Cabinet and drinking buddies are well past the age of thirty. So they’d be in essence killing themselves.
“Secondly, while there are a number of old people that do need to pass on from this life, there are plenty of younger people that could be disposed of as well. Think about it: if you’re going to kill millions upon millions across the country, would any sane and rational fellow leave out Paris Hilton? I think not.
“And third and finally, what… you don’t want to participate in Carousel? It’s the time to Renew! Don’t you want to renew? Everyone else that’s thirty’s doing it. We’d miss you if you didn’t come along and renew. RENEW!”
Settling back smugly in his incredibly comfy chair, the weasel smiles softly as his maid begins to gently tickle his toes. “Besides, even if it did happen… I’m only six. I’ve still got plenty of time on you humans to keep living the good life!”
Category All / All
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Lampshade Weasel is King...
I have no idea what "Logan's Run" is, I never saw the movie, but as far as healthcare goes, I think it's a lot to-do about nothing. I haven't been to the doctor since I was a little kid, and I'm fine. Besides, who says you should be rewarded with low cost medical benefits just because you're old? "Here grandma, have some more medicine so you can live 20 more years. It's okay that it takes you 45 minutes to get on the bus...no one else has anywhere important they need to be. Time waits for you. Oh yeah, and keep driving too! We need you getting to your Bingo game on time, regardless of how many people you kill on the way over there."
I uh...don't like old people...
I have no idea what "Logan's Run" is, I never saw the movie, but as far as healthcare goes, I think it's a lot to-do about nothing. I haven't been to the doctor since I was a little kid, and I'm fine. Besides, who says you should be rewarded with low cost medical benefits just because you're old? "Here grandma, have some more medicine so you can live 20 more years. It's okay that it takes you 45 minutes to get on the bus...no one else has anywhere important they need to be. Time waits for you. Oh yeah, and keep driving too! We need you getting to your Bingo game on time, regardless of how many people you kill on the way over there."
I uh...don't like old people...
I'm sorry, but that was perhaps, the dumbest thing I have ever heard from anyone on this website, and that's saying a lot.
...but as far as healthcare goes, I think it's a lot to-do about nothing
Really? Seriously? Are you really saying that healthcare isn't important at all, just because YOU haven't had the need to go to a doctor since you were a child? Wow...
...but as far as healthcare goes, I think it's a lot to-do about nothing
Really? Seriously? Are you really saying that healthcare isn't important at all, just because YOU haven't had the need to go to a doctor since you were a child? Wow...
You certainly take things too seriously, friend. Then again it's hard to read sarcasm on the internet. Even if any of my comment had been serious (which I went out of my way to make sure it wasn't)...what would it matter? You're supposed to vote on topics as they portray to you, not how it would portray to the well-being of all humans.
That was as hard.
Sometimes I am afraid history is a Carousel anyway. On one of the Greek isles in early antique lived the Sards, an they had the manner to take everyone who was too old to live on their own and throw them down the cliffs. That's where the term "Sardonic grin" comes from.
Sometimes I am afraid history is a Carousel anyway. On one of the Greek isles in early antique lived the Sards, an they had the manner to take everyone who was too old to live on their own and throw them down the cliffs. That's where the term "Sardonic grin" comes from.
I thought about this earlier, and honestly I don't think we need fear the coming death panels. Consider, if you will, that there already exists panels of people, assembled randomly, with the power to decide life and death. We call them juries, and by dint of having a lot of free time, the elderly pretty much rule them anyhow. That being the case, it'd be the elderly deciding the fate of the elderly, and ... I've run out of steam on the joke. Oh well.
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