I wrote this for my friend Zeker's birthday! It involves a cat who saved the day. Kinda. Rated G for slapstick violence. Thumbnail by
Kittell
Check out Zeker's art at https://zekerart.tumblr.com/
Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto, wise and brave lunar rabbit god of the night and all things serene, stands atop the mountain that the local villagers have named in his honor, Tsukuyama.
“Where the fuck is she?” He wonders aloud as he checks his watch and leans against his mochi hammer. He of course refers to Maneki, a lucky cat statue blessed with life and a cute body that resides in the village below. She long ago agreed to deliver the massive rice offering to him for his lunar blessing. But, the thing is…
“Hhheyyy… come on innn… eat heeeere...” She has been lying on the roof of a quiet restaurant all day, lazily beckoning people in. Usually this works pretty well, but unfortunately today there’s a small hitch.
“Uhm, Maneki…” The humble proprietor meekly says from ground level. “You know I appreciate your blessings always, but...”
“You’re damn right you do!” Maneki blurts out. She absentmindedly picks her nose as she continues to laze.
“Y-yes, of course… But today, however...”
“What? You don’t think are pulled in by my seeeexy body?” She asks as she scratches her belly.
“They are, but… we’ve been closed all day today. I thought that I tol-”
“What?! This is an outrage!” She leaps onto her feat, anger in her eyes. “Everyone loves to eat where ever I hang out! That’s how it works! Open up your restaurant right now!”
“Well, I’d love to, but...” The restaurant owner rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “But we have no rice. You see, these ruffia-”
“OH SHIT! THE RICE!”
In a flash, she’s gone, dashing across the rooftops of the village, deftly dancing her way down laundry lines and crashing her way through the windows of homes as she dashes towards her destination. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, she repeats in her head over and over. He’s gonna kick my asssss…
Skidding to a stop with some poor old woman’s laundry line draping her shoulders and a mop on her head, she kicks down the door to the village’s only food warehouse, only to find it empty. “Hey! What the hell?”
The restaurant owner, wheezing heavily, runs up behind her and nearly doubles over in exhaustion. “That’s what… cough… I was trying to say… It was stolen!”
“STOLEN?!” She spins around to look at the poor man, and pulls her coin from her over-sized rosary necklace. With a flick of her wrist, it shines brightly and extends to a giant barrel, forming a massive hammer. “WHO WOULD DARE STEAL FROM ME?!”
The man wheezes a bit more, and breathlessly tries to continue what he was explaining before. “Mobsters. Recruiting kids. To steal. On the… On the mountain… cough” He raises a finger to signal that he needs a second, but by the time he looks up, she’s already gone.
Elsewhere, in the forest on the side of Tsukuyama, a small team of 4 hooligans laugh as they sit around a campfire besides a stolen cart of rice barrels. Typical ne’er-do-wells, garbed in black and still in the middle of their heist. They were in the middle of a handy, exposition-filled conversation about how they were waiting for the drop-off, but were stopped by the silent appearance of Maneki behind one of them. The other three freeze at the sight, while the fourth is left confused. “Why are you all… Something is behind me, right?”
She leans in, a manic look on her face. She then quietly whispers, “Oh, don’t let me interrupt.” Her voice is quiet, but has the aura. The aura of a Mask-bearer. The thief quietly sweats profusely and quietly whispers, “May I live, please?”
“Depends on what you hit on the way down.”
Now, true to her word, being struck with the hammer isn’t what hurts. It’s like being blasted with an incredibly strong gust of air. But like in a typhoon, it’s rarely the air that kills you. With a powerful strike, his body distorts comically and disappears between the trees as the other thieves scatter, leaving Maneki alone with the sadly pathetic amount of rice. They must have been stealing so much from under her nose.
“Oh well,” she says out loud. “One way to fix this...” She jumps on top of the cart, pulls her bell from her necklace and holds it aloft. With a shining light from the heavens, she poses with the wind blowing the charms around her body, and strikes the bell down onto the barrels. “DUPLICATE!”
She watches closely for a few seconds, as the barrels do not duplicate. Then, one after another, the lids pop off as they fill overflowing with more rice. “Uh-oh.”
The trees on the mountain rustle as the cat girl, panicking, sprints up the summit of the mountain with the cart held aloft. Tsukuyomi is the first to notice. “Oh, lord, she’s-”
“I GOT RICCCCCEEE!!!”
The cart has been overflowing for so long, that she has formed a veritable river of white behind her down the mountain. “MAKE WAY FOR YOUR- oops!”
Seemingly in slow motion, a single rock trips her up and sends the entire cart toppling forward, spilling its ever-flowing payload towards the scared, yet unsurprised rabbit god.
Down in the village below, they didn’t have much of a warning besides a loud rumble before a tsunami wave of rice, and a cat girl riding it on a splintered plank of wood, come crashing down on top of the village, crashing through windows and busting down doors to fill the streets and alleyways with white gold. The restaurant owner, sweeping his front porch, stares in disbelief as Maneki slides to a stop atop her plank of wood, posing dramatically as she asks, “Anyone hungry?”
KittellCheck out Zeker's art at https://zekerart.tumblr.com/
Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto, wise and brave lunar rabbit god of the night and all things serene, stands atop the mountain that the local villagers have named in his honor, Tsukuyama.
“Where the fuck is she?” He wonders aloud as he checks his watch and leans against his mochi hammer. He of course refers to Maneki, a lucky cat statue blessed with life and a cute body that resides in the village below. She long ago agreed to deliver the massive rice offering to him for his lunar blessing. But, the thing is…
“Hhheyyy… come on innn… eat heeeere...” She has been lying on the roof of a quiet restaurant all day, lazily beckoning people in. Usually this works pretty well, but unfortunately today there’s a small hitch.
“Uhm, Maneki…” The humble proprietor meekly says from ground level. “You know I appreciate your blessings always, but...”
“You’re damn right you do!” Maneki blurts out. She absentmindedly picks her nose as she continues to laze.
“Y-yes, of course… But today, however...”
“What? You don’t think are pulled in by my seeeexy body?” She asks as she scratches her belly.
“They are, but… we’ve been closed all day today. I thought that I tol-”
“What?! This is an outrage!” She leaps onto her feat, anger in her eyes. “Everyone loves to eat where ever I hang out! That’s how it works! Open up your restaurant right now!”
“Well, I’d love to, but...” The restaurant owner rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “But we have no rice. You see, these ruffia-”
“OH SHIT! THE RICE!”
In a flash, she’s gone, dashing across the rooftops of the village, deftly dancing her way down laundry lines and crashing her way through the windows of homes as she dashes towards her destination. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, she repeats in her head over and over. He’s gonna kick my asssss…
Skidding to a stop with some poor old woman’s laundry line draping her shoulders and a mop on her head, she kicks down the door to the village’s only food warehouse, only to find it empty. “Hey! What the hell?”
The restaurant owner, wheezing heavily, runs up behind her and nearly doubles over in exhaustion. “That’s what… cough… I was trying to say… It was stolen!”
“STOLEN?!” She spins around to look at the poor man, and pulls her coin from her over-sized rosary necklace. With a flick of her wrist, it shines brightly and extends to a giant barrel, forming a massive hammer. “WHO WOULD DARE STEAL FROM ME?!”
The man wheezes a bit more, and breathlessly tries to continue what he was explaining before. “Mobsters. Recruiting kids. To steal. On the… On the mountain… cough” He raises a finger to signal that he needs a second, but by the time he looks up, she’s already gone.
Elsewhere, in the forest on the side of Tsukuyama, a small team of 4 hooligans laugh as they sit around a campfire besides a stolen cart of rice barrels. Typical ne’er-do-wells, garbed in black and still in the middle of their heist. They were in the middle of a handy, exposition-filled conversation about how they were waiting for the drop-off, but were stopped by the silent appearance of Maneki behind one of them. The other three freeze at the sight, while the fourth is left confused. “Why are you all… Something is behind me, right?”
She leans in, a manic look on her face. She then quietly whispers, “Oh, don’t let me interrupt.” Her voice is quiet, but has the aura. The aura of a Mask-bearer. The thief quietly sweats profusely and quietly whispers, “May I live, please?”
“Depends on what you hit on the way down.”
Now, true to her word, being struck with the hammer isn’t what hurts. It’s like being blasted with an incredibly strong gust of air. But like in a typhoon, it’s rarely the air that kills you. With a powerful strike, his body distorts comically and disappears between the trees as the other thieves scatter, leaving Maneki alone with the sadly pathetic amount of rice. They must have been stealing so much from under her nose.
“Oh well,” she says out loud. “One way to fix this...” She jumps on top of the cart, pulls her bell from her necklace and holds it aloft. With a shining light from the heavens, she poses with the wind blowing the charms around her body, and strikes the bell down onto the barrels. “DUPLICATE!”
She watches closely for a few seconds, as the barrels do not duplicate. Then, one after another, the lids pop off as they fill overflowing with more rice. “Uh-oh.”
The trees on the mountain rustle as the cat girl, panicking, sprints up the summit of the mountain with the cart held aloft. Tsukuyomi is the first to notice. “Oh, lord, she’s-”
“I GOT RICCCCCEEE!!!”
The cart has been overflowing for so long, that she has formed a veritable river of white behind her down the mountain. “MAKE WAY FOR YOUR- oops!”
Seemingly in slow motion, a single rock trips her up and sends the entire cart toppling forward, spilling its ever-flowing payload towards the scared, yet unsurprised rabbit god.
Down in the village below, they didn’t have much of a warning besides a loud rumble before a tsunami wave of rice, and a cat girl riding it on a splintered plank of wood, come crashing down on top of the village, crashing through windows and busting down doors to fill the streets and alleyways with white gold. The restaurant owner, sweeping his front porch, stares in disbelief as Maneki slides to a stop atop her plank of wood, posing dramatically as she asks, “Anyone hungry?”
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Housecat
Size 120 x 116px
File Size 21 kB
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