-kind of a heavy sigh-

So... this group therapy thing I'm doing for my anxiety. It's certainly been useful, and given me a little insight into my own head. But we're not exactly 100% there yet in terms of me being completely comfortable with myself. I've had the weekend to ponder on my first week of daily sessions, and. well.
I mean I haven't totally regressed or anything, I'm just really aware that I haven't cleared out all the hornets in my head, so to speak. 3 days of group therapy is great, but that's not exactly going to fix the problem, not right out the door.

I still have some complicated feelings, and it's hard to discern what's actually worth talking about and what's just white noise in my head, cyclical loops of thought that fuck me over for a while. Obviously these are things to bring up next time I go, I mean that's why I'm doing it in the first place, but then... I kinda second guess myself on should I be going, am I just faking this, am I accusing myself of faking it just to prove that I have an obsession with proving whether or not I'm faking it or actually having a problem but then bleep blorp blarp blARP PAUL BLART FART BARP, I fall down these holes where I run myself into the ground asking questions. ...And then question those questions and it's just so goddamn tiring.

Anyways. What's interesting is they did bring up that I may have a little actual OCD going on, so I'm kinda following up on that to see if that's maybe what's lingering under the surface? Who knows.

And this avatar of myself is saying something, but I chose not to write it out. Just let the expressions speak for themselves. And I'm not like falling apart right this second but I just wanted to vent-doodle.