Just a bit of an update, I am doing better since this image was drawn up and posted. My panic attacks leave me pretty messed up for a few days, and it puts my mind in a pretty negative place. I'll be allright from here.
I'm having a bad time lately.
I'm having a bad fuckin time.
I hate my job. I'm 27 and I have no idea what to do in the future. I've been an anxious/depressive wreck for weeks now and I've kinda just barely kept it contained.
And I have an anxiety/panic disorder that does not make this any of this easier.
And I just basically had a complete short circuit panic attack last night while a dude was screaming in my face and guess what, I've developed a bit of a problem in recent months where I pass out when I get overwhelmed with stress and it's 1000x embarrassing. Because once I'm sitting up again I'm uncontrollably gross-crying in front of strangers and I need help to get somewhere I can continue to gross-cry for 20 minutes.
and that kinda fucks me up for a day or two.
because then I just feel like a giant pathetic mess and my self esteem takes a nosedive.
The good news is that these episodes do tend to pass after that day or two, and my head/body resume more normal operations.
I'm on the tail end of it right now, and I've been pretty focused on just recovery today. Namely just sitting here playing games all day while occasionally stopping to choke up for a minute or two because I started thinking again.
and I do apologize for just dumping all these feelings out, It's just hard for me to let go of these things.
opted to go for this goat character
designed for me because I feel like he just suits my feelings right now. (the sorta self depreciating meta-joke being that he's a fainting goat)
-
oh and hey, give
a little love too if you can. She's feeling just as garbage as I am right now but for other reasons.
I'm having a bad time lately.
I'm having a bad fuckin time.
I hate my job. I'm 27 and I have no idea what to do in the future. I've been an anxious/depressive wreck for weeks now and I've kinda just barely kept it contained.
And I have an anxiety/panic disorder that does not make this any of this easier.
And I just basically had a complete short circuit panic attack last night while a dude was screaming in my face and guess what, I've developed a bit of a problem in recent months where I pass out when I get overwhelmed with stress and it's 1000x embarrassing. Because once I'm sitting up again I'm uncontrollably gross-crying in front of strangers and I need help to get somewhere I can continue to gross-cry for 20 minutes.
and that kinda fucks me up for a day or two.
because then I just feel like a giant pathetic mess and my self esteem takes a nosedive.
The good news is that these episodes do tend to pass after that day or two, and my head/body resume more normal operations.
I'm on the tail end of it right now, and I've been pretty focused on just recovery today. Namely just sitting here playing games all day while occasionally stopping to choke up for a minute or two because I started thinking again.
and I do apologize for just dumping all these feelings out, It's just hard for me to let go of these things.
opted to go for this goat character
-
oh and hey, give
Category Artwork (Digital) / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 755 x 1000px
File Size 458.6 kB
it did fall through, more or less. I couldn't really find work doing it, working for myself didn't quite pan out, and then working at the grocery store just stuck for so long that my license to work professionally expired.
I tried getting out of the stress of the store to work at a gamestop and it was fucking awful, I was panicked damn near every time. I left that after 2 months and was able to get my old job at the grocery store back, but at a much bigger and busier store.
I still want out, but I feel like I can't really leave since I can't quite survive without the paycheck.
I tried getting out of the stress of the store to work at a gamestop and it was fucking awful, I was panicked damn near every time. I left that after 2 months and was able to get my old job at the grocery store back, but at a much bigger and busier store.
I still want out, but I feel like I can't really leave since I can't quite survive without the paycheck.
well, i am sorry to hear that, i know you had mentioned some tings about it a while back, but life had been a bitch for a while.
as for your job problems, since i have no real idea where you are, i cant give to much advice. but- if you keep looking, you should find something. just don't quit the job you have until you find a new one and have it cemented. that i do know (from watching those around me do that very thing).
i hope this doesn't sound trite or anything like that, i just cant offer much advice. and while i work for a decent company, i wouldn't wish some of the things i do on a nightly basis on my worst enemy. third shift transport can be a bitch.
as for your job problems, since i have no real idea where you are, i cant give to much advice. but- if you keep looking, you should find something. just don't quit the job you have until you find a new one and have it cemented. that i do know (from watching those around me do that very thing).
i hope this doesn't sound trite or anything like that, i just cant offer much advice. and while i work for a decent company, i wouldn't wish some of the things i do on a nightly basis on my worst enemy. third shift transport can be a bitch.
Well, after yesterday and going back to work today, I am feeling more stable. The panic attack I had saturday really sent my head down a negative direction.
I asked for them to cut back my hours a little for a while so I'd have a little more time to ease myself down, considering I'd been 36-40 hours just about every week since November. Which also gives me a little time to see about other work out there (or going back to school to find a new career path, that's actually an option I'm considering too.)
Thanks for talking to me a little bit though, I do appreciate the insight. I have a bad habit of not reaching out to people when these things happen and trying to bottle it up and bury it.
I asked for them to cut back my hours a little for a while so I'd have a little more time to ease myself down, considering I'd been 36-40 hours just about every week since November. Which also gives me a little time to see about other work out there (or going back to school to find a new career path, that's actually an option I'm considering too.)
Thanks for talking to me a little bit though, I do appreciate the insight. I have a bad habit of not reaching out to people when these things happen and trying to bottle it up and bury it.
i have no issue talking to a friend and trying to help them. and a wiling ear usually helps more than the ear realizes, so just hit me up if you need to talk.
good luck with the fewer hours thing, that might be all you need for a while. And if you do go back to school, good luck.
i wanted to go back and finish the associates i was trying to get, but the money ran out and once i started working for my company, it just never worked out.
so good luck there man.
good luck with the fewer hours thing, that might be all you need for a while. And if you do go back to school, good luck.
i wanted to go back and finish the associates i was trying to get, but the money ran out and once i started working for my company, it just never worked out.
so good luck there man.
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