okay wel....i gotta say
i wanna tell alittle story.
i have worked here for almost 9 years...always being loyal always been there on time, i have watched this whole "Company" cause stables or no a company is a company! i have watched after the company so my boss and her Gf could go on vacation!

there are like 29 horses here, so its ALOT of responcebilaty
i am autistic, have PTSD, sociale fear disorder and so am verry willing to please those who stand above me....wich is starting to bite me in the ass....

I came here when i was 17 years old weight about 112Kilo.......yeah i was a fat fuck boohoo....that was made clear the first day i was there...

after alot of working here i lost alot of weight, but what happens when you get older and work longer in one place your body adapts...i lost about 47 kilo's there...and maybe gained 5 back in muscle and a few kilo's back cause of stress....sad but true not gonna sugar coat it....

but after alot of teasing always just let it go and smirked it off as ah they dont mean it...
but latley im now 26 years old, i have grown and over the last 3 years or so...i have become a emotional mess.

my PTSD has started to fire up alot, flashes and voices screaming in my head, i cant sleep so i am verry tired during the day, alot of crying for alot of reasons, and when you think you can have a nice day at work ...it bited you right in the face and spits you out.

now that i have been stressing alot i have started to see who people i work with really are like, during Christmas i recieved a card from one of the people who has her horse at our stables, i dint know her last name, but i wanted to wright her a thankyou note but i hardly ever saw her cause of my work days VS the days she is there....

at the last day of last year, i was pretty slow, dint sleep wel, my muscles where hurting and my foot just gave out at some points but just kept walking trough the pain of it.


cause of the bad weather the horses where fed inside, and apartly one made a mess in his pedock...wel thats our work to clean it up right?...
No apartntly its lazyness on my part....

during my last few chores my boss comes up to me, starts yelling at me about i never think, i never do what i am told.
i ask why is this needid (seeing people are around she was out to humiliate me) i started a discussion about that i have been stressed out and i know i had been a tad slow but also cause of my injury on my foot... this is what she told me:

"Oh those are excuses, you are just being lazy, why do you think you got this fat again in the first place!"

"do you think i have a easy life? dont you think i want this and that, i work here 7 days a week! you are 26 you'd think you can work more then that!!"

"you should chainge your life you are unhealthy and not doing wel you arent eating right you just lay around and do nothing all day, we do all the work!"

I told her she has nothing to do with my life style (but ofcourse i get cut off again...)

"YEAH WEL YOU WHERE SKINNIER WHEN YOU STARTED WORKING MORE HERE AND NOW YOUR FAT AND UNHEALTHY"

"YOU HAVE HORRIBLE TO NO MANNERS YOU JUST WALK AROUND AS A ZOMBIE WITH A STUPID LOOK ON YOUR FACE AND THINK ALL IS JUST GIVING TO YOU!!"

Oh and dont forget..the fact im a metalhead and have piercings in my face it makes me rude and a horrible person...??????????wut

Ii just broke down and she knew this would hurt me....
I lost my mother at a young age, my dad was a abusive alchaholic, i got hit most of my years living alone with my dad, i got trown out on the street cause he had a bad day...i lost a child i cant function normal like other poeple do. ...but im the one who has no manners?....

I have worked so long for this person always had respect for them...but now...i am planning on quiting as soon i can get a new job, i already aplied to new ones even just flipping burgers at MacDonalds everything just to get away from her! ...

and a few days ago had a work day i tought it went pretty wel....apartnly she missplaced or someone toke her phone charger .....she calls ME "LIZ DID YOU STEAL MY CHARGER" .....no my phone dosnt even use the same charger cable typ. i stayed polite.....and just ended the call normaly....but...really....i am so done with everything there...

i love the people who have theire horses there and the horses themselfs i wil surley miss them.....but this is going to far.

she told me better living and bettering yourself starts with you!...

okay...fine...then im starting...as soon i get a new job....I QUIT!~.

have worked and loved my work for so long....but you i HATE who you have become YOU SALTY OLD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!
GO FUCK YOURSELF!!


but yeah...sooo aslong im skinny...i matter ....asoon i gain somwhat weight...YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!.....????whyyyy?? jealose i got more tits then you? or what? ...(sorry snazzy remark...)

so yeah long story short...ones i go, its a BIG middle vinger to her but sad to go cause i really love the horses and the people who do like me there.