This is a Thursday Prompt (a sort of writing prompt account that gets people to work with a theme) whose keyword was "tasting". I decided too, well, take a few liberties with said prompt, thus producing a first-person perspective on life thoughts.

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That Old Taste

Can you imagine how something you once loved tastes after not having it for so long? Is it sweeter than you remember, or is it bitter? Soiled by regrets and bad decisions? It’s hard to say what I taste, if I’m to be honest with you. Time makes fools of us all I suppose, and I definitely feel foolish now. Make no mistake, my life was littered with regrets, as is any life. Nothing is perfect, but… I sometimes wonder. Not about anything too metaphysical, I just, wonder, I guess.

My life I’ve built like a construction kit: Piece by delicate piece. A play for a promotion here, some sucking up there, and in my mind I see it; I see that model in all its splendour. And then I notice a few pieces I’ve missed, and something is around the wrong way, and I get annoyed again. I chose a career first, and believe you me I succeeded. CEO is nothing to turn your nose up at, unless you’re me turning my nose up so my puckered lips can kiss whoever I was working for at the time’s ass. That’s not a pleasant taste I can tell you that much. It tastes like salt and ample amounts of sucking up. If I could describe what that tastes like… well, imagine you just French kissed a vacuum cleaner, then that would about sum it up.

I can still taste it you know. Even after all this time, after people are now clamouring to kiss my ass, I can still feel lingering traces of my every methodical act, and my failures, and what I never had time to do. I suppose that would be the taste of regret, and as saying that, I already feel my jaw tightening from that bitter taste. Regret. It’s a powerful word, isn’t it? Powerful in impact, and powerful in how it makes you want to gag like a spoon just went down your throat. I never found love, I never had children. I just hadn’t the time for either. I wanted my life in order first before I allowed other people into it. I had a plan. Plans change.

Do I regret it? On some level, yes. I regret not knowing what my sisters felt when they had kids. Oh sure they complain about it, but when you saw and felt the genuine love they had for their offspring, well, maybe that completed me too. It was a sweet feeling, like cotton candy on the tongue. And I love my nieces and nephews, dearly so. I guess my lack of offspring was why I might have spoiled them a little, that’s what money is for: To be spent. I never had children, but at least I got to have an idea of what it was like, at least.

I was aware of some gentlemen making eyes at me, “putting the moves” on me. I didn’t have time for them. None of what they said was very original anyways. I honestly started remembering them off by heart, and added in my own voice when they spoke. It got them real quiet too… that was always a good feeling. It made me smile, in my own sadistic little way. There was one guy though… he was awkward, weedy, and was close to spontaneously combusting when he tried to talk to me. Although that probably was impossible really, since he sweat too much to be useful as kindling. I guess if he dried out after massive dehydration? Well, he was a sweet man. Still is… we go out in my spare free time. Not a lot of that now, really.

Time makes fools of us all, and I jingle when I walk and think about how little time I have for me. Employees are like, well, I want to say ants, but ants can be better organized unless something blocks their path. I guess they’re like interns, really, though I know interns are just unpaid employees. No matter how senior they are, they always look on high to see me nod so they know they’re doing a good job. It’s exhausting having to give approval all the time, and it leaves me with a very dry taste in my mouth. Maybe that’s why I drink more these days?

Well, that’s enough wondering for now. I’ve left that one shmuck waiting outside long enough as I finish my “important business”. Still, I can at least say I’m not dissatisfied now. This taste isn’t always bitter, and that’s more than I can be thankful for. Sure my jaw seizes up sometimes, but it’s not all bad. Not everything works right, but so long as you don’t weigh yourself down with regrets that’s all you can really hope for with the one life you’re given.