the pictures you paint with your words in your poems are always so amazing

Painting is QUITE fun! :>

I appreciate the comment Soka! ^^

A poetic picture is what I was seeing when I read this. Its just a wonderful poem and the flow of it was just amazing.

Hehe, I owe the flow to meter! ;3

Thank you very much for reading as always Crystal; I'm happy to have been able to instill such images into you. =3

This is very nice.

Why thanks yous! =P

I <3 cherries. :3

Beautiful images, wonderfully painted. It was a wondrous read.

Can't wait to read more. ;3

Look forward to it man! =P

I'm more than happy to write! ^^

Thanks! =D

What a magnificent assembly of literature! I've actually had the privilege of playing a Shamisen once, courtesy of an Asian friend of mine ^_^ It's very neat/

That aside this poem truly is spectacular =O It's a masterpiece in every sense of the word. x3 It's RADIATING beauty =P

Bordering on divine and stimulating my visual imagination sense so realistically, I give this poem 10 stars =D!!!!

Keep up the amazing work my friend ^_^

He RETURNS o.O THe madness that ensues. *waits for madness*

Wow, the cherry blossoms dance in glorious revelry, all to garner and echo of the beauty you infused this poem with. Bravo sir, bravo. The delicacy and the sensuality really showed in this, my oh my you are quite the wordsmith sir. I'm going to take a shot at that she was learning all these ways to arouse men, learning how exactly to work and move and act, being cultivated as a cherry tree. She is finally dressed in silk ang toted about, until finally one man decides to take her at all costs. The mikage, I believe. The night comes, and he takes her away, and then he finds she is no longer that pristine cherry tree.

At least that's what I got from it, I could be going off in random parallels though

Juuuuuuuuuuuust a bit! x3

I did indeed include the sensuality, but only because I didn't want to write the poem without at LEAST showing that that side IS there. I really wasn't trying to expound on that aspect, simply the beauty of the human art that they are. =3

The ending was to keep the mystery going. The speaker already felt that she was so much like a cherry tree in terms of elegance and beauty, but he would NEVER have guessed that she may ACTUALLY be one (which she isn't, btw). =D

But your comment is MOST appreciated Crim. I'm so glad you enjoyed this new piece of mine! \(^o^)/

Ah, well, I seem to be getting a lot wrong tonight. So be it, at least I pulled my own little interpretation, and that's worth something dammit!

Well, at least I did get a bit of the poem, and my comment didn't suck, that's a plus, I'd hate to leave a bad one on a poem of this caliber.

PERISH the thought my furiend! =O

It was a FAIR interpretation, and one I certainly didn't think of! ;3

Your comments are ALWAYS welcome Crim. You know it's very hard to offend me! x3

Well darn, I have failed. I'll just have to try harder in the future =P

Brillaint. Really. Your shit rocks.

Using a very obscure word like "desiderate," and using it I think incorrectly, is one of the few minor smudges on the surface of this gem.

With all the tree imagery, lips laced with cherry make me think not of saccarine, but of xylitol (the natural low calorie sugar appearing in plums, cheeries, and apricots). Also, as out of fashion as saccarine is at this point, it may be overworked as a metaphor for empty/bitter sweetness. And xylitol even fits the same iambic rythm.

"Subjugated by her scents," and "the silence of its silhouette," are both brilliant. "As if she was a cherry tree" is hilarious and poignant, and a very well done ending.

Just a thought, "danced before!" would work as well as "dances for!" though I admit it would break your use of the present tense. Nevermind.

I'm vaguely uncomfortable with soil as a two-syllable word, but I got over it.

I was only 80% joking when I recommend "xylitol."

Hehe, well I haven't heard from you in a while Furth! ;3

I'm MORE than happy to see that you like this particular poem. I think it's become one of my absolute FAVORITES! :>


Anyhoo, as for the word "desiderate" (which is a longer synonym for "yearn"), I pretty sure I used it as it's intended to be. As far as I know, most men DO desire appeal in women! =P

I'm glad you liked a lot of my wordings; I really wanted to make this poem feel elegant AND exotic. ^^

Lastly, yeah, I felt "soil" was kinda pushing it, but it works REMARKABLY well when read, and I couldn't find another word to replace it with. When I scanned the meter, it seemed to flow rather unnoticed by the ear, so I felt confident in it. I pretty much used it as one would use "fire" as a two syllable word. x3

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your comment Furth. I hope to hear from ya more often man.

Stay cool polar bear! =)



(Yes, I do indeed recall you hate the cold!) xD

All I can say is that this is astounding!

:>

Much obliged! ^^

I love the last two verses! (stanzas?) The ending really pulls the whole piece together. As I read, the pictures became clear in my head- that's for sure. But the ending really attaches the emotion to the rest of the imagery. Perfect way to wrap it up, I say.

OMG, that's so AWEsome! 8D

I'm overjoyed that this particular piece of mine could invoke such wondrous thoughts in you. ^^

Also, I fervently believe in ending off strong, but appropriately! I'm really fond of the natural loop in this one, how the ending can go RIGHT back to the beginning without a hitch. =3

Thank you so much for your inspiring comments Joe! :>

No prob! Sorry I haven't been commenting very frequently, I just got back from vacation. But hey, if you're not too busy, would you care to check out my latest lyrical piece?

I just saw it in my subs! =P

I'm actually about to head off to bed for work though, and I don't think it'd be fair to give it a quick glance and quick reply, so I shall see to it after work tomorrow! =D

Look forward to it man, and I hope your vacation was fun-filled! ;3

:>

Well, I'm VERY happy you think so, and for leaving such a nice comment, AND faving! D8

*hugs* ^^

I do believe this is my BEST work, for now anyways; I'm always trying to top myself! x3

daaw geishas, here one minute, gone the next

I KNOW, right! D8

There elegance eludes me ONCE again! (>.<)