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Preview Excerpt

"About time!" Eala bellowed after a knocking came upon her chamber door. "Get your lazy butt in here, I'm starving."

Tila wasted no time forcing the door open while desperately trying to balance the tray of meat pie in one dainty hand. The sight of her princess not brandishing an actual crossbow brought little relief. For receiving her graces ire stare still brought its own world of troubles. Thankfully nothing more than a furrowing brow was delivered to the young maid when Eala stormed across the room to rip the tray out of her shaking fingers.

"What took so long this time?" Eala set it down on her tea table by the window. When Tila tried to answer she merely raised a finger to demand pause while she took a big swig of the mug filled with beer delivered with her meal. After a resounding burp, the princess added, "I said I wanted a pie an hour ago. You're damn lucky this beer is decent."

"W-well, Sir Daniel took extra care in how it was prepared." Tila winced at such a sight of such boorish manners now sadly commonplace in an area of royalty. Luckily her trash excuse for a princess was too busy tearing into her pie to notice how intently their servant was staring at it. "All of us wanted to make sure you had a meal befitting your stature."

"How nice of you all to actually do your jobs for a change." Eala spat out bits of pie with each garbled word. It was rather amusing to see Tila get so uptight over a stupid snack. Although it was hard to keep her fork down long enough to talk. "But I must thank you, guys. This is a very tasty pie indeed. What kind of meat is this? Chicken?"

"Goose, I think." Tila barely heard the question. Heck, she could barely hold back her glee at seeing Eala's beautiful red hair starting to bunch itself up into clumps. Many of which were bleaching into a pure white as they bristled into the first makings of feathers.

"Well, I-hurrk!!" A strange pressure locked up Eala's jaw for a second, making her teeth feel a bit strange in an attempt to finish chewing her food. When that failed she snatched up the mug to wash down the remaining lump of food down her throat. It took a minute of coughing, which Eala felt too much pain in her esophagus to notice the squawking sound such reflexes were making. "I-I must say I've n-never had goose before but it-HONK!"

That last bit had actually meant to come out as another well-orchestrated belch for Tila's services. Instead, Eala dropped her mug in stupefied horror at the animalistic trumpet noise reverberating from her neck. Panic quickly set in when she felt along her neck to find many tiny feathers growing out the pores of her itching skin. Harsh cramps brought attention up to Eala's face itself. She could feel her once delicate nose melting into her upper lip, which was becoming grossly pointed outwards into the beginnings of a bill.

"What the flying HONK did you idiots put in my pie!?"

Tila was in no state to answer. She had since hit her head on a chair toppling over in the throes of laughter. Somehow without the mild head trauma, her princesses increasing bird noises would have made it hard to stay coherent anyway.

"Waak!” Eala leaped to her feet in an angry squawk. Trying to walk to the door only brought attention to how tenting her dress felt. Everything was having trouble moving right. Arms refused to flail more than straight out from her sides. “G-Guards! Gua-HONK GUARDS! Woonk!"

About two steps later Eala's took a rough tumble across the floor struggling in a very undignified manner even for her. Legs joined the list of things increasingly wrong about her situation. She managed to look back just in time to see her shoes fall off feet that were no longer human. Only three toes remained connected together in a very thick black membrane. But then they soon vanished under the hem of her dress like much of Eala's dwindling body.

A clank signaled the chambers door opening. Eala whipped her head around with surprising ease to give her potential savior a pleading bird trumpet. It no longer bothered the princess how Tila rolled across the floor laughing at her plight. That woman would soon be struggling on a noose for this...feathery...indignation.

"Whatever seems to be the trouble, princess?" Daniel looked down at Eala unable to blame her traitorous servant for such expressive amusement.

He had to fall back on years of emotional training not to crack a chuckle watching such a worthless brat rapidly being blankets inside her own dress. Gone were any signs of a budding young woman's figure. Breasts nothing more than ruffs of thick snowy feathers. And the way Eala's head whipped about in a panic on her ever-lengthening neck almost prompted a call for a snake charmer. Especially when the last bits of hair fell off a head that was squishing to be more streamlined with Eala's developing bill.

"What the HOONK-ing WAAN you think, jerkface!!" Eala pointed at Tila only to let out a shriek. The once elegant digit jerked back against her will to become fused with its four sisters. A thick lump formed out of her hand that stretched out into a long point that sprouted a thick bushel of large flight feathers. The process repeated itself to Eala's other arm, causing her to flop helplessly on her back with only bird wings for support. "That Bi-WAAN HONK poisoned WANK! G-get m-WAN an antidote nowWAN!"

"Well, this is just a bit pathetic for you, princess." Daniel waited for another figure to enter before slamming the door shut, setting its bolt. "If only your wits were as sharp as your tongue."

"HONK!?" Eala was too flabbergasted by the arrival of...herself to notice her complete loss of vocal communication.

Indeed the woman beside Daniel was the spitting image of Eala's former beauty. Well, if one were forgiving the ugly burlap sack, awful hair tangles, and looking muddy as a sow. Might as well been trying to pass off as a common servant.

...oh, those conniving sons of- "HOONK!!"

"I think she's starting to figure it out," Eala's doppelganger said in a perfect imitation of her usual condescending tone. "Pretty unusual logic skills for such a bird brain."

Tila finally found her footing, but still could not help giggling at the sight of a regular swan struggling to get out through the neckline of a silken dress. "You can say that again, Moira. But I thought you were going to make her a duck."

"I just used the heart our butcher gave us for the potion," Daniel said with a shrug. "Guess that makes him a liar, which hardly matters. Our dear princess finally gets to experience the genius that is my alchemy first hand."

"Sure isn't making her shut that yapping mouth of hers any!" Moira clamped down on her much younger ears. Once the swan that Eala had become finally worked free of her former dress, she had begun a symphony of angry trumpeting echoing far across the stone walls.

"Indeed!" Even Daniel flinched from the shrill squawks slicing his eardrums apart. It was only when he hurled a nearby vase that rocked the swan across the floor that Eala finally fell silent. He lacked the physical strength to actually hurt such a huge bird, sadly, but it stunned her long enough for some welcomed silence.

"I'll make this simple for even your vast intellect to understand, PRINCESS Eala," Daniel said upon collecting his wits. He could not help emphasizing Eala's formal title with heavy ironic venom in his dull tone. "You've mocked me plenty over my delicate art of alchemy. Well, how does it feel to become a swan? Not only were you unable to taste the potion virtually making up the gravy of your pie, but I bet you hardly felt an ounce of discomfort as your entire humanity reshaped into something befitting a clucking brat like you."

"Geese don't cluck, Danny."

"Shut up, Tila! I'm trying to gloat my genius here."

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Uh oh! What's going to become of such a yapping bird now? Find out early over on my patreon!

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Art credit: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/robertge

Another big story commission for  mysteryman01. Went a bit silly on the 4th wall humor so hope it worked out. Wasn't meant to be a super serious plot by design. >^.^;;;<