Well you have some intriguing characters here. Your tone, mainly strengthen by your dialogue has a naive factor with your added humor keeps the story flowing at a rather fun level to read and allows your characters to be understood and bonded with the reader. However, with this tone it will undermine the effect of any serious ideals you wish to convey. Still, without this presentation both Alex, and Shadow would be flatter then a pancake character wise. So tis a mass chatch-22 You also have some nice details winch bring to light the fabrications of the world. So best of luck, you got some good things going and with development over the following chapters can evolve into something with potential.

wow thank you mate it means alot to me ^^