This week...month...year has been absolute shit. I hate posting depressing shit on here, but I have nowhere else to go.

I've been depressed for longer than I can remember, and today is just some of the worst of it. Not only that, but I've been terrified with the fact that I may have DID. All the symptoms match but I'm terrified because if I get diagnosed then I'll never be able to medically transition. My worst fear is that the people I love will start hating me or say that I'm doing it for attention.

But worst of all, I've been annoying the piss out of my best friend. She keeps telling me that shes not mad or annoyed with me, but I can tell she's mad. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I'm nothing more than an impulsive annoying useless worthless idiot. She deserves so much better and I hate myself for being such a fucking idiot.

I'm sorry to anyone reading this. I'm sorry for turning to this stupid website just to vent. I hope anyone reading this has a good day.