You know what I love? Sparkledogs. I love when someone draws an oh see doggie that's so junior high that it'd have ended up on ED's sparkledog article back in the ancient times of 2008.

Art is a fucking shitty profession. It's not a straight course, it's among the most competitive of careers to pursue, and you're basically on your own with it even with schooling and connections to potential job opportunities because at the end of the day, it's based on how much skill you do or don't have. That results in a lot of shitfuck ways to earn money, including but not limited to commissions from internet greaseballs, respecting horny assholes so they'll shut up about your dick size and Paypal you the dough it'll take to get you to draw their anime OC, underpaying freelance jobs from crazy old people's childrens' book ideas on Craigslist, and the nerve wracking experience that is compiling and presenting a portfolio to anyone for any position ever.
Sparkledogs, as an artistic phenomenon among The Youth™, are the biggest inversion to all of that.

Sparkledogs require no talent (dogs are the easiest animals to draw, obviously!!!), no experience professional or otherwise (every 12 y/o who likes dogs has made one), and no worries (this bitch will never end up in any of my professional endeavors, so he's not "regulated" by industry standards and his uselessness as a form of storytelling or communicating an idea is acceptable.) They are the epitome of self indulgent, I-made-it-cause-I-felt-like-it artwork that a shittonne of people love and that hurts nobody except people whose eyes are a little too sensitive and who still think "donut of steel" jokes are funny.

So here is my first spagglefuck since I was like 15 or something. His name is Sidney Jones, but he goes by Altruist Jones because it's ironic given he """hates""" everyone. He's an obnoxious, barely grown up asshole whose bright red brindle on his milky yellow fur makes him look like an oozing scab, and he rolled in blue paint or something to become the ultimate in Glitchcore Edgepunk or whatever. The facial bandages covered in dry blood are just for show, the mohawk is NOT naturally occurring, and that unlit cig is from underneath some asshole's Jeep that was parked in the forest. Jonesy boy is the type of dickhead who thinks his own "special" brand of edge makes him artsy fartsy instead of annoying, puts the "danger" in "danger hair", only loves indie animation, and has clearly never heard of food before. I swear we have nothing in common!
I've even roleplayed with him before, omg!!!! On FeralHeart no less!!!!!!! It's like 2011 again!!!!!! AND THATS FUCKING FANTASTIC

Anyway this drawing is genuinely bad but I don't regret making it or writing that wall of text of a description at all. Bow wow.

[Fun fact btw: every man who has ever drawn a sparkledog is gay. FELLAS~]