Quality Time
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“Do you need help with that?” Georgia asked, concernedly watching her husband struggle to walk down the hallway with the heavy suitcase over his shoulder.
“I’m fine,” Darwin said, shortly and with noticeable strain in his voice. While his arms were naturally muscular enough to easily heft the bag, his long, skinny legs proved less adept at holding weight for a long period of time. He clenched his teeth with every step, his tail whipping back and forth as he struggled for balance.
“Are you sure?” Georgia asked for the third time, anxiously watching his knees shake.
“He doethn’t wanna look like a wimp in front of you,” Daph said, under her breath but loud enough for Darwin to pick up. She walked between the two of them, waddling slowly down the hallway and arching her back to better carry the heavy load of her now full-term pregnant belly. Georgia walked slowly behind her to be able to catch Daph if she fell or stumbled, but she wasn’t going to tell Daph that.

“Why did you...why did you pack...so much?” Darwin gasped, glancing back at Daph.
“You wanted me to thtay for a whole month, right?” Daph said. “I need a month’s worth of thtuff! I don’t wanna be runnin’ back and forth between my place and yourth.” Daph hiccuped as Lilly kicked her. She rubbed her stomach, adding, “If I gotta carry your luggage for nine monthth, then you can carry mine for ten minuteth!”
“You don’t have to...nngh...yell,” Darwin said, straining to switch the bag to his other shoulder.
After a long trek from the elevators, leaving both Darwin and Daph equally exhausted, they finally made it to the apartment door. Georgia quietly slipped between them and unlocked the door, holding it open for the two of them.

“Women and children firtht,” Daph called out, hefting back onto her paws and shuffling quickly inside before Darwin could get a chance. Without a word, Georgia leaned over and picked up the suitcase from the ground near Darwin’s paws, gritting her teeth to carry it the few feet over the threshold. Huffing, she dropped it next to the coat rack behind the door, just as Darwin regained the energy to walk inside himself and shut the door behind him.
“I need some water...” Darwin grumbled to himself as he stumbled into the kitchen. Daph stood in the living room, glancing around the room and eying the few changes that had been made.
“Seemth like forever thince the last time I wath here,” Daph said, her hands around her belly. She winced as Lilly kicked again, harder than before, and looked down at herself. “Welcome home, Lilly. Maybe now you won’t get mad and kick the shit outta me when you get woken up by the EL-train.” Daph made another face as the little squirrel moved again, then sighed. “But you’re gonna kick the shit outta me anyway, aren’t you?”

“We still have to baby-proof the outlets and sharp corners,” Georgia said, standing next to Daph and pointing to the edges of the tables and chairs.
“You might as well put down thome mattresseth while you’re at it,” Daph nodded. “If she’th anything like I was, Lilly’th gonna find a way to climb everything in sight. My mom thpent more time pulling me off the ceiling than she did the floor.”
“That’s...” Georgia paused, scratching her chin as she looked away. “That’s a good idea...”
“You got a baby room?” Daph asked, craning her neck around the living room.
“Sort of,” Georgia said, pointing to the bedroom door. “We’ve got a crib set up in there for now.”
“Least you won’t be far,” Daph said. She huffed and waddled around the couch toward the doorway. Georgia giggled to herself at how the heavy pregnancy had weighed down the usually fit and muscular squirrel. As she made it to the doorway, she leaned in and glanced around, her eyes falling to the small white crib set up next to the bed.

“Well how about that, Lilly?” Daph said to her belly. “You’re gonna be thleeping right next to where you were conceived!”
“Daph,” Georgia said, embarrassed.
“When your mommy and daddy wanted a baby, they brought me in there and plugged me so fulla cum I couldn’t help but get knocked up.”
“Daph, cut it out,” Georgia said, jogging around the couch and taking Daph’s arm to pull her away from the bedroom.
“And maybe, if they’re really nice, your mommy and daddy will fuck me a few more timeth before you’re born!” Daph continued as Georgia tried to drag her away. “Becauthe all the hormones from carrying you are making me so horny I can’t see thtraight.”
“Stooop!” Georgia cried, but laughed despite herself. “I swear to god, Daph, if Lilly’s first word is ‘fuck,’ I’m suing you for pre-natal child abuse.”
“Alright, alright, I wath fuckin’ around! Well...only a little,” Daph shrugged and shuffled over to the couch. “So I get to crash here?”

“You can sleep in the bed,” Georgia said, walking up beside her. “I figured Darwin and I could swap out sleeping on the couch.”
“Are you kidding?” Daph said, turning to Georgia and raising her eyebrows. “I wath lookin’ forward to sleepin’ on thith couch again!” Daph turned to the back of the couch and made a short hop, sticking her leg out as she tried to climb over it. She bounced a few more times in place, trying to boost herself up and over.
“Please don’t,” Georgia said, flatly. Daph stopped, panting and rubbing the sore spot on her belly that had bumped up against the hard back.
“I can’t wait until I’m gonna be able to move again,” she mused, taking the time to slowly walk around the couch and flop heavily into it. Daph sank into the cushions and moaned in ecstasy, kicking up her paws and sliding onto her side. “It’th like a cloud...”

“Is that comfortable?” Georgia said, eying Daph’s belly that protruded off the couch.
“Yeah….but...ok, hang on,” Daph said. She reached far ahead and pulled a cushioned footrest closer, sliding it under her belly to keep it properly elevated. She sighed and pulled her legs in closer while rubbing her stomach contentedly. “Mmmmm...that’th better.”
“I’m happy we could make you so comfy,” Georgia said, rolling her eyes.
“That’th what you wanted me here for, right?” Daph asked, looking up at Georgia. “You just want me to take it eathy until I have the baby?”
“That, and we want to be able to keep a watch on you for when it happens,” Georgia said, sitting down on the coffee table across from the couch. “Either Darwin or myself will be here if you go into labor. And if we’re not, we’re a phone call away.” Georgia reached over and stroked Daph’s baby bump affectionately. “We just didn’t want you halfway across town in case something goes wrong.”
“So bathically,” Daph responded, “I can kick it here and relax ‘til my body feelth like squirting out Lilly?”
“In so many words...yes.”
“Got it,” Daph said, flashing a thumbs-up. “Be lazy and pregnant ‘til I ain’t pregnant no more.”
“I’m glad we understand each other,” Georgia nodded.

She trailed her hand over Daph’s stomach until her fingers brushed against her popped belly button, so prominently visible beneath her shirt. “I was waiting for this to happen,” Georgia mused, pinching the outie and making Daph squirm. “It’s so cute on you.”
“It’th fuckin’ weird, is what it is,” Daph shuddered.
“It’s just because you were so skinny before you got pregnant,” Georgia said.
“Thtill weird,” Daph sniffed. She reached up and grabbed Georgia’s shoulder, bracing against her to heft her heavy body up to a sitting position. Once she was upright, Daph said, “Hey, yknow what elthe is fuckin’ weird?”
“What?”
“My boss, Antonio? He gave me the whole month off!” Daph said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He like, he said he wath gonna take me off the thchedule ‘til I had the baby. Ithn’t that fucked up?”

“I...” Georgia blinked. “...I think that’s called maternity leave, Daph.”
“Nah, dude,” Daph said, shaking her head again with a knowing look in her eye. “No way. I know what it ith. He just knowth that if I go into labor in his store, then people ain’t gonna want to come anymore! Becauthe the whole neighborhood is gonna know that’th the store one of the waitresses had a baby in, yknow?” Daph chuckled. “That’th why he wanted me outta there, thee?”
“I...I think he might have just been giving you maternity leave.”
“Naaaahhh,” Daph frowned. “I know how he thinkth.”

“If you say so...” Georgia said, raising an eyebrow. She suddenly gasped, then clapped her hands together and stood. “Oh! That reminds me!”
Georgia hopped up from the coffee table and skipped to the kitchen, sticking her head through the doorway.
“You’re taking a long time to get a drink of water, babe,” she said to Darwin, who was busy watching a pot of noodles soften on the stove.
“I thought I’d get dinner started,” he shrugged.
“Well put mine away, I just remembered some stuff I wanted to pick up tonight from the store.”
“I can do it,” Darwin said, setting the spoon down and stepping forward before Georgia stopped him.
“You’re tired and in the middle of cooking. I can go on my own.”
“But wh-”
“But what?” Georgia interrupted with a smile. “I’m just going to the store. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
Before Darwin could respond, she hopped forward and pecked him on the cheek, then bounded out of the kitchen.
“I’m going to the store,” Georgia said to Daph, passing her on the way to the coat rack.
“Cool,” Daph said. “Lilly’s hungry for more of that squirrel snack pack.”
“I think you’re hungry for that squirrel snack pack,” Georgia responded, raising an eyebrow.
“Well you don’t know that she’th not,” Daph responded.
“I’ll be back later,” Georgia said, slipping on her jacket and opening the front door. “Don’t go into labor while I’m gone.”
“No promithes.”

With a quick latch of the door and a passing giggle, Georgia was gone.
The apartment seemed odd, like the sun had very quickly and unexpectedly set. Daph sat awkwardly on the couch, feeling oddly out of place without Georgia there beside her. She kicked her paws against the carpet, drumming her fingers against her belly idly. Lilly shifted, pushing out her leg as if she were as bored as Daph was. She cleared her throat, then hiccuped again when Lilly bumped against her diaphragm.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Darwin stirred a wooden spoon into the pot of noodles on the stove, watching them cook and soften with his eyes glazed over. Realizing he wasn’t making any difference, he set the spoon down and leaned against the opposite wall, sighing and flicking his tail. He’d planned out an entire meal for himself and Georgia with a new alfredo recipe he’d wanted to try out, but with no one there with him but Daph, the wind had been taken out of his sails. He wasn’t even sure what she liked to eat, beyond her prenatal diet.
Bored of just sitting on the couch with nobody but Lilly for company, Daph groaned to her paws and waddled across the room to the corner where Georgia had dropped her suitcase. She was far too big to even bend over anymore, so Daph had to brace a hand against the wall for balance as she squatted down to open her bag, relying almost entirely on the strength of her thighs to keep herself standing. After a few close calls, her knees became too sore to keep up the awkward position, so she stood and dragged the entire bag to the couch.

Darwin stared at his phone, scrolling through old emails and finding himself wishing he had a project to work on. The firm had approved his time off for paternity leave for the next few weeks and although he hadn’t started it yet, he was given lighter projects to work on in anticipation of his absence. As easy as the workload was for free time, he felt lost and listless without something to put his hands to, doubly so when Georgia wasn’t there to occupy the rest of his time.
One of his ears perked up at the sound of faint music coming from the living room. Truth be told, he’d almost forgotten that Daph was there to begin with. Darwin glanced at the stove, nothing cooked but the pot of noodles that he still hadn’t figured out what to do with. As awkward as it was, he figured he should at least try to be a good host.
Drying his hands on a bundle of paper towels, Darwin padded out of the kitchen on his bare paws, his nails clicking against the hardwood floor. Looking over the couch, he found Daph settled deep into the cushions, with an e-reader in her hands and an extra-sized pair of headphones stretched over her belly and playing music into it from an iPod. Darwin sat on a chair facing the couch, patting his hands against his thighs and faking a relaxed sigh, which Daph glanced up at. She smiled politely, a dim shadow of the genuine, toothy grin she usually sported.

“Is that a Kindle?” Darwin asked, trying to find some way to break the silence.
“Mm-hmm,” Daph nodded, setting it down atop her stomach like a shelf.
“It looks new.”
“It ith,” she said. “Well, kinda. I got it a couple months ago.”
“I didn’t know you-” Darwin began, but then bit his tongue when he thought about what he was saying. “Nevermind.”
“What?” Daph asked, chuckling. “You didn’t know I read?”
“Well, I just...” he shrugged, folding his arms. “It just doesn’t seem like something you’d spend your time on.” He scratched his head, then added, “You seem more active than that, is what I meant.”

“It’th cool,” Daph said, smiling genuinely. “I don’t read bookth or nothin’. Mostly fitness advice, magazine articleth, thtuff like that.” She picked up the Kindle and waved it in her hand. “I got thith so I didn’t have to carry around all the pregnancy health bookth all the time.”
“...You’ve been reading those?” Darwin asked, surprised.
“Partth of ‘em. I get bored when they talk about all the science and biology shit, but I like checking the weekly pregnancy calender.” She smiled and patted her tummy. “It’th really cool to learn about, like, what’th all going on inthide me right now.”
“That sounds interesting,” Darwin nodded.
“Yeah.”

They fell into an awkward silence again, both of them trying to find a way to advance the conversation. Daph gave up first, turning back to her Kindle and continuing to read. Darwin swallowed, drumming his fingers on the side of the chair. Daph re-read the same paragraph twice, finding it hard to concentrate on both the book and Darwin at the same time.
“Did...uh,” Darwin said, starting the sentence without fully knowing what he wanted to say. He pointed at the iPod next to her on the couch. “Did you get that with it? With the Kindle, I mean.”
“Oh, yeah,” Daph said, lifting up the music player. “I got it around Christmath as a gift to mythelf.” She glanced up, worried, and said, “Shit, is that okay? I bought ‘em with money you guyth gave me, should I not have spent it on thtuff like thith?”
“That’s alright. It’s your money,” Darwin said.
“Okay...I jutht kinda figured, like...I wathn’t thupposed to use it on anything but the thurrogacy, yknow?”
“We just want you to take care of yourself while you’re carrying. The money’s there to help you do that.”
“I am!” Daph said. She flipped through the Kindle screen and held it up to face Darwin. “I got like three different pregnancy fitness bookth for exercithe and diet thtuff. And I’ve been doin’ em, too.”
“I believe you, Daph,” he assured her.
“Okay...I mean, I don’t want you to think I’m like...jutht fuckin’ around, yknow?” She thumbed hair out of her face and shrugged. “I’m really tryin’.”
“I know you are,” Darwin said, puzzled. She didn’t seem like herself.

“Okay...” Daph said, nodding again and falling silent, her eyes glancing away.
Darwin frowned, unsure what to think of the moment of vulnerability he’d glimpsed from the normally unflappable Daphodille. Was she nervous to be around him? Wasn’t he just as nervous to be around her?
Daph swallowed, taking refuge in the screen of her Kindle, with the only sound coming from the headphones playing muffled music into her womb. She’d never felt so anxious and unsure around someone before, let alone her best friend’s husband, someone she’d known for years. Could it just be hormones addling her brain, or was it something more than that?
“So...the music,” Darwin said, desperate to break the silence. “Does that really work?”
“Huh?” Daph said, snapping out of her thoughts. “What, on the baby?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh fuck dude, like a charm,” Daph said, happy to be changing the subject. She held up the iPod for emphasis. “I got it mostly for running, but I wanted to try thith out too and thee what would happen.”
“...Are you still running?” Darwin asked in disbelief. Daph snorted laughter.
“Not anymore,” she said, gesturing to her heavy middle. “But I wath up until December.”
Darwin nodded.

“Anywayth, I got thith for running, but I wanted to try out playin’ muthic for Lilly to see what would happen.” Daph sighed and shook her head. “She’th big enough now that I can feel, like, every movement she maketh. And when she kickth, it hurts. Like, it actually fuckin’ hurts. And you can’t jutht reach the fuck in there and get her to cut it out. So when she get’th cranky or too active and I’m sick of it, I jutht put on her playlist and...” She held up her fingers and snapped them, loudly, “...she’th out.”
“How did you figure that out?”
“Eathy,” Daph grinned. “I just found whatever muthic put me to thleep.” She picked up the iPod and glanced at the screen, nodding. “The real winner is a bunch of old piano muthic by thith guy Choppin,” she said. “I found a CD of hith online and it knocked both of uth the fuck out.”
“You mean Chopin?”
“I guess,” Daph shrugged. “I dunno.”

They fell silent again, with Daph rubbing the sides of her belly while Darwin craned his long ears to listen in to the muffled music she was playing for his soon-to-be daughter. While normally a fan of classical music, even he had to admit that her choice was particularly...dry.
“Hey,” Daph said. “Can I athk you thomethin’?”
“Sure.”
“What do you do?” Daph asked, raising an eyebrow. “Like, where do you work?”
“Oh? I’m a software engineer,” Darwin said, frowning. “You didn’t know that?”
“I figured it wath something with computerth but, like, I didn’t know for thure.”
“I work for a firm that makes software and operating systems for the computers in airplanes,” he explained.
“Wow,” Daph said, raising her eyebrows. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“Doeth it pay a lot?”
“Pretty well.” Darwin nodded.

Daph nodded silently. Sighing, she slid her hands down her belly and bounced her leg restlessly, staring off into nothing. Darwin similarly cleared his throat and glanced at his hands, his fur still dusty with flour from handling the uncooked noodles. He flicked his tail, then glanced up and looked at anything but Daph.

“Rough weather outside,” Darwin said, nodding.
“Yeah.” Daph agreed. “Cold ath shit.”

It took a few more seconds of silence for the two of them to notice the music had stopped. Daph re-adjusted the headphones to more comfortably fit over her stomach, then picked up the iPod to start the playlist over. Once it was playing again to the baby in her womb, Daph went to set the music player down again, but stopped. She bounced it in her hand, staring past it and setting her jaw in frustration for something. When she dropped the iPod back on the couch, she looked up at Darwin with an exasperated expression.

“Alright, fuck it,” Daph said, throwing her arms out. “If I don’t say thith, it’th gonna fuckin’ eat at me all night.”
“What?”
“Ithn’t it, like, kinda fucked up that we bathically know abtholutely nothing about each other?”
Darwin blinked, then started to laugh. “What?” he said, shaking his head. “Of course I know you, Daph. We’ve know each other for about six, maybe seven years.”
“But in that much time, how well do you really know me?” Daph pressed. “I mean like...what do you know about me that Georgia didn’t jutht tell you about me?”
Daph’s last sentence struck a chord. Darwin blinked dimly while Daph watched him intently, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth a couple times, but nothing seemed to came out. As far as he cast his mind back, everything he knew about Daphodille was from a fact or observation given to him by his wife.

“Yeah,” Daph nodded, sitting back into the couch. “It’th like...” She picked up her Kindle off her belly and shook it. “It’th like you jutht read a book about me, right? ‘Cause that’th how I feel about you. I mean, fuck, I didn’t even know what your job wath!”
“It is...I guess it has been a little awkward,” Darwin said, scratching the back of his neck.
“Theriouthly, it’th like...when have we ever been alone together?” Daph shook her head in disbelief. “We don’t even fuck without Georgia around.”
“I suppose she’s just been our common element,” Darwin said, scratching his chin. “Maybe we just never felt the need to connect to one another if we assumed Georgia was going to be that link.”
“And ithn’t that fucked up? It just theems like the only thing we got in common is her. And for real, dude? I’m not even really thure if I like you yet. That’th how fuckin’ little we know each other.”

“Does it really matter anymore whether you like me or not?” Darwin said, defensively.
“Yeah, dude! It matters cauthe I wanna make thure Georgia married a good guy, yknow? Plus,” Daph added, pointing at Darwin, “I’m about to give birth to your fuckin’ child. I figure we should at leatht be friends.”
“But do we?” Darwin asked. “It’s not your baby, after all.”
“No, you’re right, but if I’m gonna go through all the fuckin’ trouble to have one, I wanna make goddamn thure she’th not going to some asshole, yknow?” Daph shook her head and leaned back. “I don’t know, dude...If we’re gonna be honetht, I’ve felt weird around you for a long time, now. Ethpecially since I got, yknow, fuckin’ knocked up by you.”
“...You have?” Darwin said, surprised and even slightly hurt.

“Mm-hmm,” Daph nodded, cradling her belly and shifting in her seat. “Like, I didn’t really know how to feel about you for a long time, cauthe I only had Georgia’th word to go on. She has a goddamn million nice thingth to say about you, but to me, you were alwayth kinda...I dunno, cold? Uptight? Bathically, the only thing I knew for mythelf wath that you were a good fuck. I knew more about your cock than your personality.” She looked down at her belly, feeling a soft, sleepy nudge from inside. “And then we got me pregnant with your baby and I wath like… ‘I barely fuckin know thith guy and now I’ve got hith kid in me.’ I thought it’d be a good reathon to get to know you better but that jutht...didn’t happen.”

“You talk as if I’m some kind of stranger, though,” Darwin countered, holding out his hands. “Even if we didn’t pow-wow every single night, you can’t go six years of knowing somebody without picking up who they are on some level.” Darwin sighed and dropped his arms to his knees. “I might like you more than you think I do, Daphodille.”
“You got a point,” Daph nodded. “Your Georgia’th husband, and that getth you a whole lotta brownie pointth ‘cauthe I trust her. But she’th dated assholeth in the past.”
“But do you really think I’m an asshole?” Darwin said, his voice rising. He pointed to his chest and sat up a little. “Do I...do I really come off that way?”
“Not really. Maybe kinda like you got a thtick up your ass when you’re uncomfortable. But not all the time, nah.” Daph paused, picking at her fingers anxiously as she tried to consider what to say. “But...ugh...I think it’th that...you kinda thcared me, dude.”

“I...I scared you?” Darwin repeated, his voice softening. “Did I...am I like that?”
“I dunno, maybe not scary but...” Daph groaned and leaned her head on the back of the couch. “Fuck, talking ith hard...”
“Intimidating?” Darwin offered. Daph snapped her fingers and pointed at him.
“Yeah, intimidatin’. Like you said, the only thing we had in common wath Georgia and...”
“I didn’t mean to be like that,” Darwin said. “I didn’t know you thought of me that way.”

“It’th not that you thcared me, it’th that...you were so different.” Daph shook her head. “Me and Georgia, we grew up really thimilar. We were both from broke familieth and we didn’t have a lot of money. My dad died when I wath a kid and Georgia lost her mom. We didn’t have a lot goin’ for us but each other, and for a long time, that wath okay. She wath alwayth tho goddamn smart, though, and I knew she wath gonna do awethome thingth when she grew up.”
“Has she met your expectations?” Darwin asked, smirking.
“Oh fuck yeah,” Daph nodded. “I’m impressed by Georgia every fuckin’ time I thee her. But dude...you didn’t grow up like we did. You ain’t got the thame kinda past we do. Which ith good!” Daph said reassuringly as Darwin began to frown. “I don’t wanna wish those timeth on any kid. But there’th a kind of bond she and I got from growin’ up like that and...I wath afraid you were gonna take that away. That when she married you, that she’d thee how good her life could be and would wanna cut thingth out of her past.” Daph shook her head. “Fuck, I hope I’m makin’ sense.”

“I follow you,” Darwin nodded. He sat forward in his chair, tapping his fingers on his chest. “But did you ever realize how much I was intimidated by you?”
“...Really?” Daph blinked. She glanced around, as if she was being pranked.
“Georgia and I met when we were freshmen, but how could I possibly compare to the years of history you had?” Darwin said. He stood up from the chair and crossed over to the couch, sitting next to Daph with a cushion between them. “You’ve got all these stories, all these inside jokes, so much of a connection for each other. Sometimes, it seems more like she’s married to you than me!”
“What...” Daph said. It was her turn to laugh, her belly shaking and nearly jostling off the headphones. “Are you for real?”

“I’m serious!” Darwin shouted, feeling himself growing unexpectedly angry. “There’s this...there’s this...this wall that I feel around Georgia whenever you’re together! This impenetrable goddamn force between the two of you that I can’t even hope to get through. And it’s based on all this history you two share that I haven’t had the time to build yet, so even though I love Georgia so much, when you’re around, I constantly feel like an outsider to my own marriage!” His flare-up of anger quickly burned out, Darwin dropped his arms to his sides and looked away. “...I don’t understand.” He added, shaking his head. “I don’t understand it.”
Daph remained silent, a hundred thoughts of what to say next clashing together inside of her head. She swallowed, waiting for what felt like the right moment to speak.
“...You know that ain’t true, right?” Daph said, gently. “Like...you know Georgia loveth you, don’t you?”
“I...” Darwin clenched his teeth, then sighed. “...I do. I hope so.”
“She said ‘yeth,’ didn’t she?”
“...She did.”

“I mean, me and Georgia have been friendth for a long time, yknow? But we’re friendth. Even if we’re betht friendth, you’re a couple, you’re married. We don’t have to like...we don’t gotta fight over Georgia, do we?”
“I don’t want to,” Darwin said. He exhaled heavily through his nose, like he was blowing out steam, his tail shaking behind him. “But...I’ve told Georgia things about me nobody knows, personal things. Things important to me. And lately I’ve been thinking, ‘Would she tell Daph? What does Daph know? What could she tell other people?’ And that terrifies me.”
“...Dude, I don’t tell people’th thecrets like that,” Daph shook her head. “I’m not that kinda person.”
“But how do I know that? The only things I know about you are what Georgia tells me.”
“I kinda thoundth like you got a lotta trutht issueth to work out with her, dude.”
“It’s...it’s not about her. I’m not a monster, I can’t expect Georgia not to tell things to her friends, but I know all of her other friends. I trust them. But I don’t know you, Daph. You’re this person that, through Georgia, is so intimately close to my life that you might know more about me than even my own wife, and I know fuck all about you!” Darwin paused, and then gestured to Daph’s stomach. “Oh, don’t even forget about this!”
“Hey man, thith ith a thurrogacy job,” Daph said, pointing at him.

“We both know you’re more than just a surrogate, Daph. At least to Georgia. And that’s the cherry on top of this fucking dysfunctional little sundae. Somehow, you ended up nine months pregnant with my own daughter without us even getting to know one another!” Darwin tensed for a moment, holding his breath, then sighed, his short-burst frustration fading away. “This...this isn’t how I wanted our life to go...”

Daph looked at Darwin, despite his own gaze drifting away from hers. For whatever reason, this was something important to him, but she didn’t know why, ultimately proving his point. Despite the music playing into her womb, Lilly turned around and roughly began kicking in a flurry, as if trying frantically to keep her father and birth-mother from fighting. Daph rubbed her swollen stomach, feeling Darwin’s baby having grown so strong inside of her. She’d thought for so long that it was only Georgia she was carrying for, so easily forgetting about Lilly’s father.

Do it for her, Daph thought to herself.

“...Well, uh,” Daph said, after an uncomfortable silence. “...We could alwayth thtart now, can’t we?”
Darwin glanced up from staring between his knees and frowned at Daph, gesturing to her baby-heavy middle.
“I think it’s a little late for that.”
“Better late than never, though,” Daph shrugged. The two of them paused before Daph chose to break the silence first. “How did you propothe to Georgia?”
“What?” Darwin asked.
“I wanna know. What’d you do?”
“You probably already heard all about it,” Darwin shrugged.
“Not really,” Daph said, smiling. “I didn’t care about that romantic shit at the time. But now I do. Tell me about it.”
Darwin glanced up, squinting suspiciously across the couch at Daph. He sighed, then leaned back into the cushions with his hands clasped in his lap.

“About three years ago...maybe two. I don’t remember exactly. This was when Georgia was doing her residency at the ER. I graduated a semester ahead of her and was working a couple IT internships at the time. Only one of them was paid, so we didn’t have a lot of money to go on, even with our shared income. It was a low point for both of us, but I still wanted to propose. I’d wanted to for months at that point and I just couldn’t figure out the best way to do it. One night after I got paid, I was browsing through Amazon looking for ideas and there was just this...perfect ring on sale that I just had to have for her.”

“Hold the fuck up,” Daph said, holding up her hand and smirking. “You tellin’ me you ordered her fuckin engagement ring off Amazon?”

“It was on sale!” Darwin defended, sending Daph into a cackling fit of laughter. “We share a Prime account! It was...It was a nice ring!” Darwin rolled his eyes after Daph’s laughter fell into snickers. “Anyway...it took a couple weeks to get to our apartment and I just planned to keep it hidden somewhere until the moment was right or I figured out what to do next. But one night, I was doing some coding work at home and forgot to check the mail, so Georgia came home from the ER with the package in her hand. She knew it was jewelry, but not exactly what it was. I tried to lie and say it was for my mom, but all that did is start an argument about saving money.
“For some reason, as soon as she left, I kind of panicked and thought ‘Now now, it has to be now! Right now!’ I ran after her before she got in the shower and made her open it. The ring didn’t even come in a box, it was in bubble wrap, but it looked so perfect in her hands when she unwrapped it. She just stared at it until I told her that I lied and it wasn’t for my mom. I think she started crying before she could say anything and just hugged me. Funny thing is, she never actually said ‘yes.’ She didn’t really need to.”

“Aw fuck, dude,” Daph said, unexpectedly thumbing a tear out of her eye. “Your romantic bullshit ith makin’ me all hormonal.”

“She told me later that was the night a patient had died and she thought it was her fault,” Darwin added, smiling at the memory. “And said that proposing was probably the only thing in the world that could have made her happy again.”
“Thank fuckin’ god she ain’t workin’ there anymore,” Daph sighed, shaking her head. She grunted, shifting in her seat and pulling her legs up onto the couch, crossing them so that her heavy belly sat in the middle. She absentmindedly played over it with her fingers while saying, “Okay, now do me.”
“Do what?”
“Athk me a question,” Daph said.
“Um...uhh, okay. What’s it like being pregnant?”
“It’th like bein’ a living fishbowl with a thquirrel inthide it,” Daph said flatly. “C’mon, deeper than that. What’th somethin’ you alwayth wanted to ask me but never have?”
“Oh...well,” Darwin thought for a minute, then shrugged. “I guess…how did you and Georgia become friends?”

“Hoohohoh...oh fuck,” Daph chuckled, looking away. “God damn, thith wath a long time ago. And a lot of it wath, like, little kid logic goin’ on. But okay. My family’th been in New York for, like, ever. Georgia and her mom moved up from, well, Georgia when she wath maybe five or six, so she didn’t thtart school until she wath in like thecond grade. So, okay, yknow Georgia’th blonde becauthe she’th technically albino, right?”
“I think she’s mentioned it before,” Darwin nodded.

“Right. Well, she kinda had to grow into that ath she got older and became the fuckin hottie she ith now. All the other thquirrelth in our class were like you and me. Brown and black eyeth, earthy fur colorth, normal shit, right? So Georgia cometh into class and everybody’th all like, ‘What the fuck?’ Cauthe here’th thith tiny ass little thquirrel girl with bright blonde-ass fur and bright blue-fuckin eyeth. And her fur didn’t grow in right until she hit puberty, so it wath all patchy and weird like she fought a fuckin’ buzzsaw and lost. She didn’t talk a lot becauthe she went from, like, the buttfuck nowhere South to motherfuckin’ Brooklyn in just a few monthth and wath in culture shock the whole time. But we wath at that age where you try to make friendth with everybody, yknow? She just didn’t know how to fit in and everybody thtopped tryin’.

“Then in like third or fourth grade wath about the time kidth thtarted to turn into assholes, yknow? And Georgia thtuck out like nobody elthe did and she got picked on a lot. But thee, me? I wath an asshole too, but I wath the bitch that wanted to fight everybody. So I wath thith buck-toothed little dyke-in-training that saw Georgia getting all thith shit from other kidth and that shit pissed me off. I got tho many goddamn notes thent home for fighting all the shitheads that were pickin’ on her, but I never thaid it had anything to do with Georgia becauthe at firtht, it didn’t! I wath just fighting the kids that made me mad! But Georgia thought I wath fighting the bullies for her and...well, I guess that became true.”

Daph put a hand to her head and blinked, dizzy. She took a few deep breaths, pressing her other hand against her belly.
“Daph?” Darwin asked, concerned.
“I’m good,” she waved back, stretching out her legs again. “Just...talkin’ too much. My lungth are all squished. Ran outta breath.” She took a minute to catch her breath, then continued. “So ever since I thtarted doin’ that, Georgia would help me with thchool and shit becauthe I wath dumb as hell and couldn’t figure shit out. She wanted to do thomething for me for stopping people from picking on her and it jutht worked out that we became friendth. See, Georgia’th mom wath really sick when she was a kid and her dad worked all the time, so a lot of timeth, Georgia would jutht come over and stay at our houthe in the afternoon after school. I think my mom loved it becauthe she got to pretend she had an extra daughter around the houthe.” Daph sighed, rubbing her belly idly while she frowned, thinking back. “Yeah,” she nodded. “That’th about it.”

“And you’ve been friends ever since?” Darwin asked.
“Well, not the whole time,” Daph said. “We kinda drifted apart in middle thchool and some high thchool, but eventually we became friendth again before we graduated. She went to college on a full-ride. I didn’t. Then you came into the picture and, well...” She pointed at Darwin, pointed around the apartment, and finally pointed to the baby in her belly before adding, “you know the retht.”
“I think I do,” Darwin said. He pulled his legs up onto the couch, feeling more comfortable now that he was finally finding some repeatability with Daph. “Your turn.”
“Okay, cool,” Daph nodded. She hiccuped as Lilly kicked her in the chest. She rubbed her belly and asked, “You excited to be a dad?”

“...I don’t know yet,” Darwin said, sighing.
“You don’t know?” Daph repeated, frowning. She grunted as Lilly kicked her, then giggled. “Well dude, you don’t got a lotta time left.”
“I know,” Darwin sighed, picking at his fingers. “It just doesn’t feel real to me yet. I don’t know if it will until the baby’s actually born. But I can’t...I can’t make up my mind how I feel about it.” He frowned, then glanced up at Daph. “A big part of it is that, frankly, you aren’t my wife. Even if I know in my head that that’s my daughter inside you, I just wish it was Georgia carrying her.”
“Dude,” Daph shook her head and sighed. “I’ve, like, actually had a pretty easy time being knocked up, but I wish every fuckin’ day that it wath Georgia instead of me. She’th the one that detherved it.” Daph frowned, reaching down to tug her shirt more fully over her round belly. “Yknow, I think that’s why she’th been hangin’ out with me tho much.”
“Why?”

“I mean, I ain’t a shrink or nothin’, but I think Georgia’th jutht trying to live the whole ‘having a baby’ experience through me, yknow? She wantth to be close to Lilly ath much ath she actually can without, like, actually carrying her. It’th why I don’t let anybody but her touch my gut without athking.” Daph paused, before adding, “And that meanth you, too.”
“Huh?”
“C’mon, dude!” Daph said, beckoning Darwin over from across the couch and patting her stomach. “I can’t thpend twenty minuteth with Georgia without her crawlin’ all over my belly to feel Lilly moving, but you ain’t even athked to yet! Come say hi to Lilly!”
“...I uh...” Darwin hesitated. He flexed his toes anxiously, his ears twitching. “I don’t know...”
“It’th your daughter, dude,” Daph said. She pushed herself up and shifted on the couch until she sat with her back to the armrest, presenting her belly to Darwin.
“I know, but...” Darwin hesitated, but Daph answered before he could.
“...but I ain’t Georgia.”
“Yes...”

“I know, I know, it ain’t the betht of circumstances,” Daph sighed. “We all wish it wath different, but it’th thtill your daughter in here, yknow? Do you really want your firtht impression of her to be...fuckin’ thcreaming and covered in womb goo?”
Darwin recoiled at the term ‘womb goo’, making Daph burst into laughter, her round stomach shaking as she cackled. She pulled off the headphones and turned off the music, dropping the iPod to the carpet below.
“C’mon! Introduce yourthelf!” she said encouragingly, beckoning him closer.
Darwin swallowed anxiously, glancing around the room as if he were committing some kind of crime or offense. Without standing, he shifted down the couch closer to Daph, who tucked her legs beneath her to give him more room. He took a deep breath and reached out a hand, leaving his palm hovering just inches above Daph’s stomach.
“I ain’t gonna pop, dude,” Daph smirked as she watched him hesitate. “Not yet, at leatht.”

“I know, I’m just...” Darwin sighed, then took a deep breath. With that last inch feeling a mile long, he reached forward and pressed his hand against Daph’s belly. It was unexpectedly tight and almost hard to the touch, but also deeply warm from a source of heat coming from deep inside; whether it was from Daph’s body or Lilly herself, he wasn’t sure.
He held his palm in place for a moment, not sure of what to do next. Daph rolled her eyes, took hold of Darwin’s wrist, and dragged his hand up her stomach and next to her ribs. They both waited with bated breath for a few moments. Daph frowned. Cupping her belly with her hands, she applied pressure to a few points, then shook her body sharply.
“Come on, thleepy, wake up,” Daph said. “Thith ith gonna be practice for when your parentth need to wake you up for schoo-”
She and Darwin both jumped as Lilly sharply kicked against the top of her cramped living space and just barely grazed against the tips of her father’s fingers. Darwin gasped, his breathing turning into an airy couple of nervous laughs.

“That...that was her?” He said. Daph glanced up at him incredulously.
“Oh, nah. It’th the other baby I forgot to tell you guyth about,” Daph said, flatly.
“Then that was...her paws?” Darwin asked, moving his palm directly over where he’d felt Lilly touch his fingers.
“Yep.”
“So she’s upside-down?”
“Oh hell yeah,” Daph nodded, rubbing the bottom of her stomach. “She’th been movin’ head-down all month. She’th ‘bout ready to get outta there.”
“She’s...so strong now...” Darwin shook his head in disbelief. “The last time I felt her, it was like...”

“It felt like little bubbleth or thomethin’,” Daph nodded. “But now she’th kickin’ ass with the betht of ‘em. And I’m her firtht goddamn punching bag, too...” Daph made an oof noise as Lilly kicked again. Darwin grinned despite himself, resting his other hand against Daph in an attempt to feel exactly where Lilly was moving. As he slid one of his hands down, he felt an odd sensation against his palms. There was a strange sliding movement the he wasn’t quite sure he was imagining or not. He pressed his hands harder into Daph, trying to discern what the light movement was.
“Gentle, dude, gentle,” Daph said, easing his hands off of her.
“Sorry,” Darwin said, cocking his head, then pointed to the middle of her belly. “What is that?”
“Oh, you can feel that?” Daph said, sliding her hands next to his to feel alongside him. “I only thtarted to pick that up in the latht month. Yknow what I think it ith?” Daph glanced up, a twinkle in her eye. “Her tail.”
“Really?” Darwin glanced down, trying to imagine the little movement to be Lilly’s tail brushing up against his fingers.
“I mean, I don’t know for thure but,” Daph pointed to the top of her belly and slid a finger all the way down, “if her feet are here, and her head ith down here, then that’d be her tail, right?”

“Do you think we’d be able to feel it, though?” Darwin pondered. “Would it be big enough?” Daph sat up and reached behind her, pulling her enormous, bushy tail into view and shaking it like a cheerleader’s pom-pom.
“Have you seen thith fuckin’ thing?” Daph said, then pointed to Darwin’s. “Yourth ain’t exactly little, either. She’th gonna come outta me weighing three poundth extra just with her tail.”
“You’re probably right,” Darwin nodded, taking note of his own appendage. They fell quiet, Daph relaxing while Darwin prodded his fingers around her belly.

“Hey,” she said, after a while, “you should talk to her.”
“I should what?”
“Talk to her!” Daph said. “Her earth work, yknow.”
“Why?”
“Beeeecauuuuthe,” Daph said, drawing out her words as she dug underneath her body for the Kindle. Fishing it out, she held it up and continued, “the books thay that a lot of early bonding cometh from in the womb and that babieth can learn to recognize their parents’ voiceth.” Daph shrugged and set the Kindle down. “I mean, I used to talk to her when I wath alone, but when I read that, I kinda thtopped becauthe I don’t want her to be born knowing my voice more than Georgia’th. And she probably doethn’t know yourth at all yet, tho you got thome catching up to do.”
“...Huh,” Darwin nodded. “That makes sense.”
“She’th probably got a pair of thethe big fuckerth, too,” Daph said, reaching up to pinch the hair tuft atop Darwin’s long ears. Darwin batted her hand away, making Daph giggle. He rolled his eyes, then lowered his face closer to Daph’s stomach, the round surface just barely inches away from him. As she noticed this herself, Daph lifted her hands above her head and lurched her body forward, bumping Darwin in the nose with her belly.

“Hey,” he protested, rubbing his face. Daph only smiled toothily. He shook his head, then crouched next to the couch on the floor to get near her stomach. He swallowed, trying to imagine that he wasn’t talking to Daph’s bellybutton inches from his eye, but to the person behind it. He cleared his throat and said stiffly, “Um...hello. I’m...I’m Darwin. I’m going to be your father.”
“The fuck ith thith, a job interview?” Daph shook her head. “You’re her dad.”

“Give me a minute, alright? This is weird,” Darwin said, shaking his head. He sighed, then leaned in closer, imagining his words going inside. “...Lilly? Can you hear me?” He paused, then wondered why he was waiting for a response. “...It’s your dad...You haven’t met me yet and...well, I haven’t really met you either. But...but I really can’t wait to see you, baby girl. And your mom...she isn’t here right now, but I know she’s excited, too. Daph’s done a really good job of taking care of you, but it’s almost our turn and we can’t wait.”
He paused, waiting for the words to come. Daph giggled and shifted in her seat.
“She’th moving,” she said. “Keep going.”

“Okay...um,” Darwin swallowed. “Well...we can’t wait for you to grow up with us and...to teach you things and to watch you go to school...and Georgia really wants to teach you how to swim and how to climb and I...I just want to hold you and take care of you and watch you sleep. Lilly...I hope you can hear me.” Darwin closed his eyes, imagining he was talking directly to his unborn daughter. “And I’m...really scared, too, because I want to do a good job and I’m gonna do my best, but as long as your mom is around I feel like I’m going to be okay because she...she’s going to be so much better at this than I will. But I’ll love you and I love you right now and I won’t ever stop loving you because you’re going to be our baby girl.”
Darwin leaned back, his head falling against the couch. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to say until it came pouring out of his mouth. He opened his eyes and they were wetter than when he closed them.

“So,” Daph said, smugly, “you excited to be a dad?”
“...Yeah,” Darwin nodded, wiping his eye. “Yeah, I am.” He sniffed, then rubbed his face clean and glanced up at Daph. “It’s my question next, right?”

For hours, the two of them chatted on the couch, telling stories of their childhoods, their newly-beginning adulthood, and reminiscing on the few stories they shared together. They talked about their plans for the future, the things they believed in, the things that made them angry. What they shared, what they didn’t share, and why. They talked about Lilly, what she would be like when she was born, what she was already like inside of Daph. They talked about Georgia, what they both loved about her, the way she had brought them together, and ideas of how to thank her for it.
Around 12:30 in the morning, Georgia nonchalantly unlocked the door and stepped inside, grinning smugly as she found Darwin and Daph chatting on the couch. The two of them glanced up at the door in surprise, as if they’d forgotten Georgia even lived there. Darwin dug out his phone and stared wide-eyed at the time.

“Have fun?” Georgia said, brightly.
“Where have you been?” Darwin exclaimed. “You left four hours ago.”
“Oh yeah, I did,” Georgia said, shrugging. “I went to go get groceries...then I decided to get dinner and have a cocktail or two. Then I decided to catch a movie down at the IFC Center in SoHo. Then I stopped and got some ice cream on the way back.” She grinned, then clapped her hands together in mock frustration. “And oh darn it, I guess I forgot those groceries after all. Well, at least you two got to hang out without me for a little while.”

“...Wait,” Darwin blinked, then pointed between himself and Daph, “...do you mean you-”
“Oh whatever do you mean, sweetie?” Georgia grinned. She hung up her jacket behind the door, then scurried off into the kitchen, stopping to peck a confused Darwin on the cheek. “I wonder if we have any pretzels left!”

Daph and Darwin glanced at one another. Daph only shrugged, well used to Georgia’s rare schemes of social subterfuge.
“You married her, dude,” she said. She paused, rubbed her nose casually, then glanced back him with a soft smile. She reached out one of her legs and kicked him gently in the shoulder. “I’m glad ya did, though.”
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Index