I have hope for us, quite a bit actually, and i feel like even though our situations suck, and our moods aren't exactly cooperative, but we were just like that in the beginning of our relationship. We went places with it. We made it work then, and we have what it takes to make it work now, okay? All i needed was this last chance to make it work, as well as the right treatment for my problems. I know that you would see my behavior as a fucking mess before the fact, and i know I'm not perfect, and that i don't necessarily deserve you either, but i want to try to be good enough for you, if not the best possible for you, so i can get us back on track to that life we saw ourselves living together. I love you so much, Jack. I want you to know everything you can know about me, and i want you to be happy with it. Ever since that first time you told me you loved me, and when i was finally capable of reciprocating it back to you, i had so many great feelings about you, and i understand that we might never be able to go back to that, i want us to be happy together, and i want us to have a good relationship again. I love you so much, and i know you don't feel even remotely the same way right now, but please do know that we can get ourselves back up. I admit that there's a lot that i need to rebuild for us, like trust and stuff, as well as other more personal things, like being stable without antidepressants. You mean the world to me, and i think so highly of you, especially after everything we've been through. You might have some problems too, but i feel like the least i could do is offer you help from myself, since that is what you've done for me, time and time again. You've done so much for me, and i am so deeply grateful for you, and everything you've ever done for me, and for us. And I'm so sorry for everything I've done wrong, or failed to do at all for you, like being absent a lot for military stuff, or just being generally not okay to be around like i was for such a long time. I miss you a lot, and its no ones fault but my own. You are absolutely correct to slow things down due to the instabilities of my work, and even with whatever instabilities we may have between us, but one day i hope to change the way you see me back into a positive light. You're the only person i can say I've loved more than anyone, and even anything else, and nothing can change that, regardless of what happens. If you ever need anyone to talk to, or anything to help whether it be some gas money, or someone to talk to about anything, or even some space for yourself, just say the word, and its yours. I love you jack. This whole mess I've gotten us into has gotten me a little wired up, but I'm turning that energy towards us, to get us back together, so we can be whole again. I love you. I hope you sleep well tonight babe. I love you so much, and i can only hope that i can make it possible for you to trust me, and be comfortable around me again sometime. Goodnight, Jack. Sleep well.