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First Off, if you have commissioned me BEFORE the year 2017, PLEASE READ THIS
I cannot stress this enough, Please, Please read that journal if that applies to you.
Anyway I dunno if anyone will actually read this but-
... this is a formal apology, to commissioners, followers, etc
For the lack of uploads, for commission wait times, the list goes on and on.
I got swamped with bullshit, the past couple years- like legit, it was NONSTOP and on top of all that I hated doing art, so damn much. Luckily, currently I have found a slight spark again but man, those last few years were rough, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ready just to hang it all up. I was about to delete my FA account and all other forms of social media. Heck- I still might leave FA but not right away, since I can't afford it. But- man art has been the worst and best parts of my life these last couple years. I've made friends and lost friends because of art. I've fucked up my queue, which I've always admitted- I was never hiding it away or anything I just really had no idea what to do about it. till now ofcourse.
But anyway let's get into the cheese and rice of this vent, I am sick and tired of being outcasted as an artist because of mistakes I've made, I've been trying so very hard to improve my art and myself since this year started. Art is my only source of income right now, I NEED it to be my job for now. I am currently a "disabled" person as much as I hate to say it, to cut right to the point. I just want to move forward. I'm sick of constantly looking back.
I hope those of you that dislike me, blocked me, or abandoned me can forgive me for whatever I've done. It was never my intention to offend anyone or sound like some sort of crywolf scam artist.
I can't tell you how ashamed and just overall upset I feel when I get blocked by a favorite artist or hear someone saying awful things to other artists/users on the site about me. It makes me feel like such shit- so all I can do is apologize. I am trying. I'm only human.
I cannot stress this enough, Please, Please read that journal if that applies to you.
Anyway I dunno if anyone will actually read this but-
... this is a formal apology, to commissioners, followers, etc
For the lack of uploads, for commission wait times, the list goes on and on.
I got swamped with bullshit, the past couple years- like legit, it was NONSTOP and on top of all that I hated doing art, so damn much. Luckily, currently I have found a slight spark again but man, those last few years were rough, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ready just to hang it all up. I was about to delete my FA account and all other forms of social media. Heck- I still might leave FA but not right away, since I can't afford it. But- man art has been the worst and best parts of my life these last couple years. I've made friends and lost friends because of art. I've fucked up my queue, which I've always admitted- I was never hiding it away or anything I just really had no idea what to do about it. till now ofcourse.
But anyway let's get into the cheese and rice of this vent, I am sick and tired of being outcasted as an artist because of mistakes I've made, I've been trying so very hard to improve my art and myself since this year started. Art is my only source of income right now, I NEED it to be my job for now. I am currently a "disabled" person as much as I hate to say it, to cut right to the point. I just want to move forward. I'm sick of constantly looking back.
I hope those of you that dislike me, blocked me, or abandoned me can forgive me for whatever I've done. It was never my intention to offend anyone or sound like some sort of crywolf scam artist.
I can't tell you how ashamed and just overall upset I feel when I get blocked by a favorite artist or hear someone saying awful things to other artists/users on the site about me. It makes me feel like such shit- so all I can do is apologize. I am trying. I'm only human.
Category All / All
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Size 1280 x 800px
File Size 75.2 kB
Listed in Folders
Don't worry boo everyone has made mistakes and don't things they're not proud of and what you've got to do is start forgiving yourself!!!
You're trying your absolute hardest to do things that put strain on you and your health and you're still managing to push through it even if you don't think you're not doing that great but you're actually doing amazingly well!!!! You gotta have more faith and confidence in yourself and I know that's hard with the stuff that's going on in your own life but you'll push through it and you've got your friends here for you whenever you need us!!! :))))
You're trying your absolute hardest to do things that put strain on you and your health and you're still managing to push through it even if you don't think you're not doing that great but you're actually doing amazingly well!!!! You gotta have more faith and confidence in yourself and I know that's hard with the stuff that's going on in your own life but you'll push through it and you've got your friends here for you whenever you need us!!! :))))
Everyone makes mistakes, even when you've learned from them they do happen and sometimes these instances are completely out of your control. Personally, I'm very grateful to have met someone like you. You've been nothing but a very sweet and a very kind person to me since I've been here. Even though I would hear stupid shit like. "Artypanda is an art thief" and "She doesn't want to get a real job" "She mooches off her grandmother" It was nothing but stupid shit. I thought you were always someone I could get along with, and despite any sort of mistake you may have made in the past it's not something I could ever truly dislike you for.
A friend last night actually told me that, true friends don't allow other people to change their judgment or views based on what other people tell them and if they do. Fuck them, Those people aren't your friend and that you should move on, that you're better off in life without them. I didn't care what other people said about you, from what I knew about you I knew you were someone I enjoyed being around.
This "Community" doesn't take the time to understand, or even care about who you are, and what your problems are. If you're an artist it's pretty much the only thing they care about... Even people used me to get art out of me with my generosity and pretty much block me after they got what they wanted.
BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS, I think you're an amazing person, and you've been there for me in my recent struggles with people I once cared about. Despite what these idiots say you're still there and it's something I will always love and appreciate you for. I know past mistakes will eventually creep up on you and get to you, but I know you have done very well for yourself up to this point, and no matter what challenges life will bring you, or what drama some retards throw at you. I'll help you through it Fuu.
A friend last night actually told me that, true friends don't allow other people to change their judgment or views based on what other people tell them and if they do. Fuck them, Those people aren't your friend and that you should move on, that you're better off in life without them. I didn't care what other people said about you, from what I knew about you I knew you were someone I enjoyed being around.
This "Community" doesn't take the time to understand, or even care about who you are, and what your problems are. If you're an artist it's pretty much the only thing they care about... Even people used me to get art out of me with my generosity and pretty much block me after they got what they wanted.
BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS, I think you're an amazing person, and you've been there for me in my recent struggles with people I once cared about. Despite what these idiots say you're still there and it's something I will always love and appreciate you for. I know past mistakes will eventually creep up on you and get to you, but I know you have done very well for yourself up to this point, and no matter what challenges life will bring you, or what drama some retards throw at you. I'll help you through it Fuu.
Everyone is allowed to make mistakes. there will be those who stick with you after them and those that leave. it'll hurt but hell look at how many are currently willing to stay! I'm in for the long haul if you are and i know you'll do great. so hang in there! there is so many people who support you and know we dont judge you for mistakes. Friends are supposed to help you through these things not leave you behind. That goes for followers to.
i'm super out of touch so i had no idea people were talking about you this way. screw them!
i can completely relate with your feelings about art. i honestly admire your strength in being able to push through and regain your spark, and stick with all your social media, etc. i'm working through my own issues in that department. i know i don't say much, but i hope that you never disappear because you and your work make a lot of people happy to see, me included. i would be super devastated to find you gone.
keep it up, you are doing so amazingly! you have a ton of people supporting you. our brains want to hyper focus on the negative, but i'm sure that those saying bad things are likely a small minority.
i can completely relate with your feelings about art. i honestly admire your strength in being able to push through and regain your spark, and stick with all your social media, etc. i'm working through my own issues in that department. i know i don't say much, but i hope that you never disappear because you and your work make a lot of people happy to see, me included. i would be super devastated to find you gone.
keep it up, you are doing so amazingly! you have a ton of people supporting you. our brains want to hyper focus on the negative, but i'm sure that those saying bad things are likely a small minority.
I've kept super quiet about it, because I didn't want to start shit with anyone.
But I've felt more comfortable to open up to people about it because it's something that does go on behind the scenes in these communities sometimes so something needs to be said and also idk streaming has made me feel more comfortable with the small community that follows me.
I'm trying my best not to disappear, art is one of the few things that gives my life meaning and I really don't want to mess it up again.
thank you so much~
But I've felt more comfortable to open up to people about it because it's something that does go on behind the scenes in these communities sometimes so something needs to be said and also idk streaming has made me feel more comfortable with the small community that follows me.
I'm trying my best not to disappear, art is one of the few things that gives my life meaning and I really don't want to mess it up again.
thank you so much~
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