Gnolls travel many moons to At-Land. Big den full of animals to hunt. Killed many beasts. Much food was had. Strange human jungle deep in Earth, shiny people give Tea'ka grog. Lots of grog! Sk'Reth make mating noises at many females. Tea'ka wake up when attacked by sun. Spear did not kill sun. Thadeus give Tea'ka coffee. Coffee good. Coffee kill skull-curse from horrible trickster Earth-dwellers. Evil grog. Tea'ka never tip them again! Hah!
We make clever and trick stupid monkey into letting us in cement lake. Not in big den, but in other big den. We swim, but shiny monkeys with much gold not like us there, me savvy. So we eat them. While we eating them, giant man with fists like mountains and voice like Yeenoghu come and make big noise at us! We scared, maybe gnoll-father angry at us, so back to den full of prey-food!
Tea'ka spend much time in smaller den inside big den, where many shiny monkeys make good cave-drawings for gold. Tea'ka make try, too, but monkeys not like cave-drawing of gnolls eating them. Tea'ka still pull in hefty profit.
Thaddeus make much noise and make much war! He such big, dumb male. Me steal sandwiches and teach kung-fu antelope that not bring fist to spearfight! Sk'Reth hunting skills much big this time, and Sk'Reth find two whole monkeys for us! These monkeys much big and feed whole den of cubs for winter. Too bad is many moons back to den.
Here am gnolls, tired after long day of pillaging.
Please, won't you let us pillage you?

Warm Regards,
TEAKA

PS teaka is much clever and big fierce. not as fierce as sk'reth. but very close. teaka also big strong. not as big as thaddeus, but not have dumb name like him either. we come soon to Pit burgers for den-bash soon! You let us eat you! Okay me love you.


((From left to right, Sk'Reth(Made by Mirabem), Thaddeus(Made by me), and Tea'ka(or teacup)- also made by me. SLOWLY EXPANDING THE GNOLL PATROL))