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I didn’t mess up the orders. Can’t you guys find anything better to post to our invasion log?
—Lt. Smiley out!

Chapter Nineteen: It’s Aliiive

An excited yowl woke me from my sleep. My head jerked up. Beside me I noticed Hearts had fallen asleep. I wasn’t in my box but rather on the sofa. I didn’t have time to try to remember how that had all come to be. Spork had been awoken by the cry as well. Hearts hadn’t, but that didn’t matter.
“What was that?” I asked, mostly myself since Spork had already headed that direction.
I followed quite a few paces behind it. Light was shining through a door from a room on the second floor. I briefly wondered how Cedric had slept through the cry but soon spotted him standing near his doorway.
Spork stopped, its short fur bristling out. I bumped into its back but stopped after that. Cedric was a frightening sight. His head fur was an unruly mess of curls and twists, standing high above his head in weird jagged waves. His glasses were gone and his eyes looked tired and glazed over. He seemed to be wearing shorts or something that went to about his knees, the rest of his spindly legs poking out from beneath that. One sock on, the other off.
“What was that?” Cedric yawned.
Spork’s fur began to settle down some as it blinked a few times. “Oh. It’s just your Human.”
“He gets a little scary at night.” I agreed.
“What?” Cedric rubbed at one eye. “Why am I,” he broke off into a yawn, “scary?”
“Nevermind. I’ll tell you later.” I flicked my tail in his direction. “We’ll handle this, don’t worry.”
He didn’t seem worried and went back into his room. I heard the springs of his bed soon, indicating he had probably flopped down on it and resumed sleep instantly.
Spork threw the door open—as it often did—and stepped in briskly, ears down as it surveyed the room. Aside from Kerfuffle and Cheeseburger, the room appeared clear to me. I glanced at a clock that was nearby, recognizing it was only three or four in the morning–early start.
Kerfuffle and Cheeseburger were standing around the place they usually worked. I noticed the screen was on—but the TV had worked from the beginning. Well, part of the beginning that was, before they had taken it apart. Once they did that it had stopped working.
The difference now was on the screen, there was a tawny and white ‘deviv with black ears and bright blue eyes visible beneath the semi solid projection visor of similar color that covered the center of its face. A long range transmission receiver rested on the left side of its head. It was dressed in traditional Qwuedeviv army fatigues, a dull green in color with a brown belt and lighter patches along the outer torso and inner thigh. It had white gloves on and some random straps crisscrossed across its chest. A whole bunch of paper notes were stuffed into the odds and ends of tech gear it had on.
It seemed relieved and happy to see Cheeseburger and Kerfuffle, rambling on about something I couldn’t quite make out.
This Qwuedeviv, about the same size as me was none other than the personal messenger of The Four Generals themselves.
“Wacky Talkie! That means you guys got it to work!”
“Affirmative.” Cheeseburger replied, for the first time in practically ever the slightest hint of a smile slid onto its face.
“Commander!” Wacky Talkie called, “We are so glad to hear from you! HQ has been worried!”
“They have?”
“Or at the very least annoyed.” Talk reconsidered its wording. “Crew 38 has been calling us frequently.”
“Crew 38?”
Spork moved closer, growing agitated I could tell. I had a feeling its confidence in me was fading.
“Well, yes, Crew 38. You were stationed with them, as back up to—”
“I knew you had messed things up again!” Spork hissed, “We’re not an invasion crew!”
“I didn’t mess up anythi—”
“Wait, you mean you didn’t know?” Talk sounded alarmed. “Where are you then?”
“Earth.” Either Kerfuffle or Cheeseburger had chimed in.
“Ohhhhh…that is so very unfortunate.” Talk mewed. ”Ah, the commanders wish to speak with you.”
We waited for a moment as the communications officer left. I gazed at Spork. It glared back at me. No, I was not feeling so confident anymore and I had a feeling the commanders would do nothing to make this any better.
“I knew you had it wrong.” Spork growled.
I was glad to be interrupted by the commanders at that point, namely, Commander Easy Cheese Revolution. With a strange name in tow, Easy Cheese was the supreme general of our entire species. It wore the traditional black officer uniform with red-orange trim and its headgear consisted of a standard black officer’s cap with our pawprint insignia.
Easy Cheese itself was a fluffy creature, with a primary fur color of cream with orange ears and a tri-toned, orange, fluffy tail. A few orange stripes were also on its face, one behind each eye and one somewhere amongst the fluffy tuft of fur that usually stuck up on its forehead.
Fatal Flaw, Supreme Brigadier General of the Qwuedeviv, was our second in command. It had a uniform that varied significantly in the top half portion, having been modified to its specific preferences. The collar was more simplistic than the others and the arrangement of the red-orange trim was also different. Like Commander Easy Cheese, it wore an officer’s cap, beneath which its dark blue, jagged ears poked out. A lot of the rest of its fur was also darkly colored, with a tan portion near its muzzle. The remainder of its fur was gray, splotched with dark markings here or there. Strange feather like fluff jutted out from its forehead and it had unusual sensors that resembled thin strands of fishing twine with a rounded, but triangular, flat flap at the end. These all had vibrant, exotic colors of green, pinkish-red and two shades of blue.
Then there was Supreme Major General of the Qwuedeviv, Commander Dr. Leech. It was in charge of monitoring and researching mental health, and looking out for the overall well being of the troops. Unlike the others, it wore a white uniform with blue-green accents and black gloves. The jacket, complete with a mid-waist cape, looked a lot like a doctor or surgeon’s attire. It also wore goggles that were trimmed in black with blue-green lenses. They had swirly vortex markings too, mimicking the placement eyes would be. Directly above the goggles rested its fairly simplistic brown hat with long side flaps capable of fastening under its chin. Strapped to the front of the hat was also a head mirror.
Commander Acid Drizzle, the fourth and final of the top generals, once again wore standard high ranking officer attire. However, its actual appearance was a bit odd, even for a Qwuedeviv. Its fur was all dark grayish black with little clusters of glowing orange ovals. They were especially noticeable on its face, ears and tail. It also wore a visor with six visible glowing eye lights on either side. Beneath the visor, its left eye had a reddish pink hue and the other was malformed.
Rumor had it that its eye had never fully developed when it was a kitten because the airtight seal of its birth pod was broken before the normal incubation period was over, thus it entered the world much younger and less developed than most Qwuedeviv.
It also had several long tentacle-like appendages sticking out of its head and tail; these were actually tongues. I happened to know for a fact that they oozed with acidic drool. Acid Drizzle, official title, Supreme Brigadier General of the Qwuedeviv, handled war tactics for planetary invasion most of the time. It moved the corps generals around like the pieces of a Human chest board; chess board that is—the Human board game thing, whatever it’s called.
I assumed Earth and Qwuh-9’s time must have been very different because none of the Qwuedeviv we were now about to speak with looked tired like most of my crew did. That was one good thing we had going for us at least, waking them up wouldn’t have been a good way to start.
Spork stopped directing its hatefulness at me and looked to them instead. They gazed back at us for a few moments while Easy Cheese played with a light up yo-yo, the whir of it zipping back and forth along its string the only sound.
“So kittens,” Easy Cheese perked its ears up cheerfully, “tell me, where are you guys?”