I feel like this is long overdue, but the reason why I never gotten around to doing it was because I felt like a very self absorbed prick for doing it lol. I mean, I am, I know I am, but that's not how you get people to like you. XD

So why am I doing this now? Today, two people told me about how much they loved my artwork, and how much I've gone through a wonderful transformation of improvement. And I have been aware of that-- frankly because new people keep faving old stuff and I'm reminded of how silly it is that I once thought my artwork then was the pinnacle of what I can do. Above, you'll see some of the artworks where I felt like I was at the top of my game. And looking back, I always remembered how happy I was when I zoomed out of the canvas one last time to leave my signature. On the other side of this screen, you'll see me smiling. And, maybe dancing a bit. (And because I don't bring it up more often than I'd want to, YES I used to be a dancer. Ha ha ha waka waka)

As an artist, people always come up to me to ask "Hey Harley, you're an artist, how do you fix Africa?" Then I sheepishly show them my commission prices. Hahaha. For real though, its weird that I'm here now. I'm in the same position of the artists I had worshipped (and touched myself over-- let's be honest here :P) and I always go back to the days I still used an airbrush as my main shading brush. And its been a wild crazy ride from there.

I wanna point out something that's commonly known but not commonly said: No one's lives are as easy as they'd like it to appear. I have my own demons to take care of. With that said, I hope no one sees me with this starry look in their eyes and how I have this wonderful Cinderella story that's playing out for me. I don't. And I'm not looking for sympathy points, I just want you guys to understand something:

The process of my art back then, 2-3 years ago, to my art now, has been a major fucking headache. Its been "comparison this, comparison that", its been one headache inducing comment, favorite artist senpai not noticing me, "how come he has more views than me?", and I'm someone who always felt like the best option to do is to oppose these kinds of mentalities. I'm also someone who feels things very deeply. So whenever I'm in a slump over your stereotypical art insecurities, it hits me fast and hard. To the point where my tablet collects dust for months.

It happened so many times now, like five "I don't wanna do art anymore" speeches ago. I can't promise that I won't do that again. But I noticed that everytime I do that, I come out of it better. And that's not an arrogance thing, its just enough self-confidence to know that I KNOW I'm not done with this, and I can do better than the schmuck who thinks using airbrushes for a sweat effect good. (Seriously, why do you people like me). What I'm saying is, I don't want you guys to feel like whatever you're going through now is something I never experienced. I compare myself to A LOT of artists. I question why I can't be like them. Why my work isn't as widely appreciated, when I feel like it should.

If you won't take this from everyone else who's already said it, then I hope you'd take it from me: STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER ARTISTS. You've gone through your own battles. They have had theirs. You just do what they did-- come out stronger.

I would probably do another post about what I think about, what I do, and how I do stuff for better artwork in another post. But, its 8am, I hadn't slept yet, and my mind is all over the place. But I really do wanna do this!

If there's something you should take from me, its that I don't do art anymore for the childlike fun where its all water guns and fidget spinners. I always asked myself why I can't get hits the same way other artists do. One day I snapped out of it and thought "I'll give them something to notice." Then I improved. I looked for a direction, I stuck by it then I improved the hell out of it. I've set my own rules by reading up on other rules (Sounds restrictive huh? Hey, if you like my artwork, it obviously works. :P) until it just became second nature to me that I'm suddenly in a new level with my artwork. Gist is: You wanna be a better artist? Then be a better artist. Get better. Maybe you do fetish work like me, but don't let that be a reason why you shouldn't take art seriously.

Remember my Richard character, the wolf who's also an art teacher? He's inpsired by an artist I personally know in real life (Of the same name!), and is an amazing artist as well. One time, I chose to interview him for a class project. Two of the most memorable things he told me were "I have nothing against painters who, say, paint flowers passionately. But if you do that, for 10 years-- with all due respect, wouldn't that drive you crazy? For me, someone whose brain is just all over the place, I just paint what I want to paint now, then I'd change subjects next week maybe." (Sound familiar? :P) He also told me this: "That sculpture your referring to, that's not my best. I'm constantly looking to make my 'best artwork' I can make. And everything you've seen me do... that's not my best artwork. Rather, its my best 'study' for what would be my best artwork in the future."

So, to sum it all up in a few sentences:

Treat your artwork seriously. Have fun by all means, but if you're in this for improvement, then promise yourself that you'll have fun drawing something today but to make something better tomorrow.

Lastly-- thank you. I have no words to describe how thankful I am that you people have put me up on this level. I will keep doing works that you guys would enjoy. But it would mean a lot to me if the inspiration you have towards me, or your own favorite artists, is used to better your own artwork. Treat the inspiration you have for someone, as a tool to inspire someone else. Pay it forward, let's improve together. <3

m y n e c k h u r t s

EDIT: Seriously, showing you guys the top three artworks that are old is so embarassing. I'd rather post a pic of my freshly circumcised cock here than show that. I'm so brave.