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More from Rudoji Lape
My Fine Example
Nothing is helping anymore.
It has become oh-so obvious to me over the past week that I simply do not belong in society. I don't make meaningful connections, and I can't even THINK I belong anywhere. Now I know I have more life to live, but it's funny that anywhere I go, I feel as if I'm in the wrongest of place.
Like here. No matter how hard I work, I'm no prodigy or whore that'll hand money or divine attention to folks so they'll make stuff for me. With that, I'll be nothing here.
I don't do things in my community either. What's the point when they want me to go away all the time. I try being someone else, and they don't want me to act. I try being myself, and they hate me. Same as on here.
And then everybody takes me w-ay too seriously. For example: I have a MSN "friend", whom I met on FA (I have no fear that he'll find out about this, because I bet 10-1 that he NEVER visits my page. That's another thing that bugs me). He's probably one of the most random and goofy folks here on FA, and then I get to talking to him, and he's all stoic and objective with me. Do I ask for this in my demeanor or what? I'm sick of being everyone's associate.
And I just simply cannot talk to anyone on my IM addresses about this stuff. I don't think I can convey my dysfunctions through text anymore. Plus, no offense anyone I do talk to, but I don't see that we ever have anything deep in our conversations. This is definitely not your fault, as I see this IRL as well. I suspect this is my curse.
Well, I think from now on, I'm going to combine my bitching with my Submissions. I think this may make things feel right for me, and put things into perspective better.
It has become oh-so obvious to me over the past week that I simply do not belong in society. I don't make meaningful connections, and I can't even THINK I belong anywhere. Now I know I have more life to live, but it's funny that anywhere I go, I feel as if I'm in the wrongest of place.
Like here. No matter how hard I work, I'm no prodigy or whore that'll hand money or divine attention to folks so they'll make stuff for me. With that, I'll be nothing here.
I don't do things in my community either. What's the point when they want me to go away all the time. I try being someone else, and they don't want me to act. I try being myself, and they hate me. Same as on here.
And then everybody takes me w-ay too seriously. For example: I have a MSN "friend", whom I met on FA (I have no fear that he'll find out about this, because I bet 10-1 that he NEVER visits my page. That's another thing that bugs me). He's probably one of the most random and goofy folks here on FA, and then I get to talking to him, and he's all stoic and objective with me. Do I ask for this in my demeanor or what? I'm sick of being everyone's associate.
And I just simply cannot talk to anyone on my IM addresses about this stuff. I don't think I can convey my dysfunctions through text anymore. Plus, no offense anyone I do talk to, but I don't see that we ever have anything deep in our conversations. This is definitely not your fault, as I see this IRL as well. I suspect this is my curse.
Well, I think from now on, I'm going to combine my bitching with my Submissions. I think this may make things feel right for me, and put things into perspective better.
Category All / Doodle
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 1184 x 1280px
File Size 432.7 kB
You're having difficulty "talking" to people, because you're talking to the wrong people. You're still seeking answers from your sycophants and just like a CEO's "Yes Men" all you're going to hear out of them is "happy unicorn hugging" optimism. What you need is to be talking to someone like me. Someone who isn't afraid to tell you that you might die a lonely person, and who won't tell you "everything is going to be peachy-keen" when I know it's not. Reality is humbling, you're starting to see that now with your own eyes, but the immaterial conversations you're having, are clouding this simple truth in your mind. You see things as a constant negative, but you have children with candy-corn running through their veins telling you the opposite. I can only show you where the truth really is...it's up to you whether or not you want to acknowledge it.
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