Hm. Done in two continuous takes for guitar and vocals, so I must be getting better at this whole recording thing. Or maybe the kinda messiness just suits this song.

Probably the most personal thing I've written, I guess. Hope there's some enjoyment to be found in listening. I know I enjoy sad stuff. Maybe 's just me tho.

- Lyrics -

"There comes a time when the blankness of future is so extreme – is such a black wall of nothingness... Not even of bad things, it's not like there's a cave full of monsters that you're afraid of entering in the future. It is just nothingness. The néant as the French would say; la vide; the void; the emptiness. And... it is... just horrible. It's horrible to contemplate a futureless future, if that isn't too impossible. And so you just want to... to step out of it. To step out of the whole race, the whole business. The monstrosity of being alive... overwhelms you."

i don't know how to say this
but i think im giving up
nothing left to fight for
no passion in my blood
ive given it my best
but it just isnt enough
effort after effort
and here i am – just stuck
two jobs, but no skills
and debt piled up
social bridges burned
no one left for love

and i dont know what i think of myself
but its not good
and i dont know where to go from here
i need a second; a tick to breathe; gimme space so i can think about where to go

should i try again?
is it worth the shot?
should i let it end?
i dont know

how to say this
but i think im done
im laying down
and if im lucky
i wont wake up

"Very sort of black state at the moment and, uh... would love to be somewhere else other than here, frankly. I'm just praying that it'll pass, basically. Because it's fucking irritating, and I hate myself for it."