Lately I haven't truly been myself the past few days. I feel like I have to vent out some feelings because me and the girl that I love haven't been doing so good. It's really my fault because I thought she was ready to take the relationship a step further so I was thinking way too ahead of myself with future planning of marriage, living together, etc. and I shouldn't have even thought that far. She wasn't at that stage yet so now I feel like I ruined the relationship. She did tell me that she's not giving up on us completely but that we just need to take a break from each other right now. I don't know how long. I need to figure out some things and work on myself more and she agreed with me. It's not completely over but still it bothers me why I did what I did. I feel like my feelings are all mixed up right now and it feels very weird.

I'm even struggling with porn addiction again when I told myself I was going to quit doing that. I looked at a verse in the bible where it says "If your hand keeps on sinning cut it off." It doesn't mean literally but what Jesus is trying to say is that if I keep on doing what I'm doing then I got to find any sort of way to keep myself from committing the same sins over and over. I'm going to start blocking any kind of adult website on my laptop, phone, etc. It makes me sick inside just thinking about that.

Everything is just piling on top and I feel like everything is crashing all around me. This was all my fault because of my careless thinking. Why do I have to keep on making the same mistakes when I don't want to?

I can't do this alone in my own strength. Jesus is my only source of light and hope and he's the only one who can bring me out of these struggles of mine.



https://youtu.be/Bvjph0gOKO4

~Sweetheart
My precious one
My darling
You are not alone
Listen to my song
If its your hardest day
If you feel pain
And you're undone
Listen to my song

Lay your head down and stay awhile
Find rest with me favorite child
You were bought with a price
So this thought you must not forget
The story isn't over yet

Sweetheart
My precious one
My darling
Holy Spirit's here
Catching all your tears
He is your comforter
Your healer
Your teacher
He's your guide
Let Him work inside

Lay your head down and stay awhile
Find rest with me favorite child
You were bought with a price
So this thought you must not forget
The story isn't over yet

In Jesus name
All fear
All rejection
Abandonment
Depression
Come off this child

In Jesus name
All shame
All abuses
Death
And all confusion
Come off this child

In Jesus name
All anger
And hatred
Violence
Addiction
Come off this child

In Jesus name
Generational curses
All disease
And sickness
Come off this child
Come off this child

In Jesus name
Your ears now will hear it
The voice of Holy Spirit
You are His child

In Jesus name
Your heart will receive it
In every way you'll feel it
You are His child

In Jesus name
You'll rise like an eagle
High above all evil
You are His child

In Jesus name
I give to you beauty
Dignity and healing
You are His child
You are His child

Lay your head down and stay awhile
Find rest with me favourite child
You were bought with a price
So this thought you must not forget
The story isn't over yet

Holy Spirit come
Holy Spirit come now
Holy Spirit come and fill the one who hears my voice
Holy Spirit come
Holy Spirit come now
Holy Spirit come and heal the one who hears my voice

Lay your head down and stay awhile
Find rest with me favorite child
You were bought with a price
So this thought you must not forget
The story isn't over yet~






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