I see nothing wrong with the attitude on the one on the left. It's exactly what mine is.

the point is theres nothin wrong with either side
its just a conflict of attitudes that makes it real hard to be socially adequate for me

Fair enough. I concede I'm not a very social person, thus I only seldom take the initiative to start a conversation with someone unless I feel I have something of substance to say. I never socialize for its own sake. I don't feel a constant need to be in verbal contact with others. Occasionally I want to, but often I actually enjoy solace.

Not saying either is wrong either, though a person on the right would get on my nerves really quickly.

I'd like to think being on the left doesn't mean "not caring" so much as, I don't care much.

Oh gosh, I feel it on a spiritual level. I don't want to be the 'not caring' one, but send the 1st message makes me so damn anxious and I kinda of just...give up ;w;
socializate is just too hard

i can relate to that tbh
ive been like back and forth between either extreme over the years like no in-betweens
so its like youre on the left and then you to shift toward the right but because you were on the left you isolated yourself
or youre on the right and you shift toward the left but because you worried so much about socializing and initiated no one finds it important to initiate anything w you

Exactly this!
Thank you so much to this post aaa