the other day when I was lying in bed just alone with my thoughts, I watched a few fairy tail episodes to pass the time and I thought more deeply about what kind of magic I would have. As much as the whole "heart dragon slayer" thing is cool, I figured it wasn't really "me", so looking at it more with Fairy tail logic, I thought about the more important aspects of what magic is in the fandom.

first off, what colour is your soul?
Secondly, where do your strongest feelings reside? the more powerful your feelings, the stronger your magic would be.

and just for shits and giggles, I thought about what element I thought I would be.

I found that Water is the element I felt closest to, but I felt that my soul was the colour red, or burgundy. Red liquid? blood. This was only strengthened when I thought about where my strongest feelings come from and that was from the time that was the most challenging for me. I went through so many years of heartache and torture. These years weren't free from bloodshed either; self inflicted of course.
this time in my life had the most influence on my life; made me who I am today. Moreso, Blood magic in any fandom is usually a forbidden magic, or a dark magic which represents my wanting to be good and pure when all around me is darkness (depression and other things in reality, or such a dark magic in the fairy tail fandom).

I would always have the opportunity to let myself fade into the darkness, but my will to do good with it keeps me afloat. I will always have this struggle, but for as long as I can be strong, I will do so for those I love.

the one major weakness of my magic is that if I am not bleeding myself, I cannot use any of my attack spells that require tangible blood. This also ties in with my self harm. In order to be strong sometimes, I have to bleed.

I suppose I would be able to use the blood of others, but I wouldn't want to use them like that, so I would refrain from it.

I also am able to heal and support with my magic, which is what I try to do most as I don't like hurting others, but if needed, it can be a very offensive and strong magic.

I updated my recent fairy tail member page with my new colours/outfit (very minimally changed)

if you read all that, congrats.

Now, back to commissions *kicks self*