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More from Holydust
omg, this is why i can't write this fucking book. because this is how my notes end up coming out. oh well.
if you're interested in reading it and you don't know who these people are, rest assured you WILL be confused. if you know who he is, enjoy the verbosity. it was all written in a long string of mental slobber and i'm tired so a lot of words are just flat-out not the words i was trying to think of...
-cusses- the sibling "dynamic"!! that is the word i was searching for earlier. it was like a mind freeze.
before you get confused, yes, he lives after he dies, but not as a human. you're allowed to be confused. no, he's not a vampire. that'd be gay.
he's a demon with little headwings! that's not gay, right? STFU :(
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2219171
v Depression and subsequent suicide
○ Corey suffers from depression, linked to a worldliness he gained from an early age due to his father's emotional abandonment of him and his mother's complete loss of self (resulting in her admittance to a mental facility); being on his own made him grow up fast. While he did not suffer any drastic physical or emotional abuse, the lack of parental figures and siblings led to his practically raising himself from around the age of ten until his late teen years. He has not been desensitized to the ills of the world, but rather has been made brutally aware of them out of his own curiosity. Part of his private life away from the prying of the paparazzi involves a secret presence on the internet; he is well-versed in internet memes and "chan-speak" and like any typical 4chan/ED lurker, has seen his share of atrocities. While he is difficult to ruffle with personal attacks, reading about the terrible acts committed by his fellow man has led him on more than one "life is meaningless" drinking and/or drug binge. These binges actually end up making it impossible to later rule out suicide in his apparent OD death. Because of Corey's frustration with the aforementioned atrocities, Corey is also known to engage in a little mild vigilantism, but he generally can't go too far for fear of being recognized. According to his band mates after his passing , Corey had, on one occasion, savagely attacked a local drunkard who was known for molesting his stepdaughter.
○ In short, he is not easily shocked, but the things he has seen still greatly (but quietly) sadden him. His band mates will allude to having gotten hints of Corey's depression from his topics of choice at times which include anything from child pornography to consensual homicide.
○ The important thing to take away from Corey's depression is the side-effect, his (often stupidly) reckless altruism. He seems to behave at times as though he believes that he is the right-hand man to a hero in a story not his own, that it is his lot in life to sacrifice himself for another--someone more valuable to the world than himself. He accepts this knowledge with a sad but proud sense of duty. Hiryuu, the presumed "other" in this relationship, looks up to Corey as a person to be admired, but this seems to provoke a secret shame in Corey, as though he feels guilt over not being a worthy role model for Hiryuu. He treats Hiryuu like a younger brother at times, though Hiryuu is several years his senior. The sibling dynamic stems mostly from Corey's extroverted personality as it compliments Hiryuu's social inexperience.
○ In the end, it seems like both boys know that Corey is somehow doomed, though neither quite understands how or why. Whether or not Corey's death is a self-fulfilling prophecy is a matter of deep philosophical pondering for Raen, who has strong reasons to suspect that Ixion's careless treatment of Corey's life force either deliberately forced an early cease in Corey's lifeline or that perhaps Corey's believing it made it so. Even speaking with the nephilim Corey post-mortem does not really answer any of Raen's questions, but it provokes him to engage in a personal study on similar human/nephilim cases. Did all relationships like Corey and Ixion's result in a similar, early death for the charge? Raen makes a point of noting that whether the charge became nephilim in the end may be of no consequence. Hiryuu may actually have found the topic intriguing, had the question not arisen out of the untimely suicide of his closest friend.
○ After the suicide, media coverage blows up. Axion Falls' second album, completed but still unreleased, is expected to make record sales. Costs for interviews with the remaining band members skyrockets.
§ Travis (lead guitar), on what bothered Corey the most: "It was just, a lot of times it would be morbid stuff that would come up in conversation. He would get this far-away look like he wanted to cry or punch something and generally that was conversation over. We could tell shit bothered him but it's like, what can you say to that? In five minutes he'd be back to being Corey so it was just like... there wasn't anything to know, we thought. He just wanted to save everybody but there's nothing you can do about sick people in the world."
§ Ben (drums), on signs that something was wrong: "I don't know. He would say he could never kill himself because it was selfish. He said 'it's one thing to do something stupid and get yourself killed, but it's just selfish, offing yourself like that'. And he was reckless, before this... He'd been in the hospital for accidents before, but he wasn't trying to get hurt. He never did. He didn't cut or anything. We all want to think 'we couldn't know, he couldn't do that'--that's what everyone wants to believe. So… I really don't know."
§ Ian (bass), on the reason why: "Like I said, he was happy about the band. Our shows were good. He didn't really like the attention sometimes but he seemed to deal with that really well. …I fucking hate that I'm saying this, but he seemed happier than ever. I know that's like textbook--but it's true. I don't think he would have done it on purpose. I don't think he was running from his life."
§ Rhiannon, Corey's only (rumored) ex-girlfriend, asked about her reaction: "I can't--Please back up. Please. It's raining, can you move so I can get to my damn car? Come on."
§ Corey and Hiryuu, during their first conversation after Corey's death:
□ Corey: "It's been messy, yeah? No quiet exit. One way or another, when you go, everybody's gonna know. But I didn't want to just disappear. I couldn't take away people's closure like that, make them waste time wondering about me."
□ Hiryuu: "Corey…"
□ Corey: "And I mean, how do you kill yourself and disappear?"
□ Hiryuu: "Please just stop--"
□ Corey: "It's just--it would have been hard either way. When you leave, you leave people behind; there's no way to just vanish. At the end of the day, you're still missing from people's lives. At the end of the day, if anyone knew you, you're just… gone."
□ Hiryuu: "It's been hard--for everyone. The fans… your band. Your dad."
□ Corey: "They'll get over it. Everyone dies, right?"
□ Hiryuu: "In theory."
□ Corey: (turning around and wearing the smallest of smirks.) "In theory."
if you're interested in reading it and you don't know who these people are, rest assured you WILL be confused. if you know who he is, enjoy the verbosity. it was all written in a long string of mental slobber and i'm tired so a lot of words are just flat-out not the words i was trying to think of...
-cusses- the sibling "dynamic"!! that is the word i was searching for earlier. it was like a mind freeze.
before you get confused, yes, he lives after he dies, but not as a human. you're allowed to be confused. no, he's not a vampire. that'd be gay.
he's a demon with little headwings! that's not gay, right? STFU :(
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2219171
v Depression and subsequent suicide
○ Corey suffers from depression, linked to a worldliness he gained from an early age due to his father's emotional abandonment of him and his mother's complete loss of self (resulting in her admittance to a mental facility); being on his own made him grow up fast. While he did not suffer any drastic physical or emotional abuse, the lack of parental figures and siblings led to his practically raising himself from around the age of ten until his late teen years. He has not been desensitized to the ills of the world, but rather has been made brutally aware of them out of his own curiosity. Part of his private life away from the prying of the paparazzi involves a secret presence on the internet; he is well-versed in internet memes and "chan-speak" and like any typical 4chan/ED lurker, has seen his share of atrocities. While he is difficult to ruffle with personal attacks, reading about the terrible acts committed by his fellow man has led him on more than one "life is meaningless" drinking and/or drug binge. These binges actually end up making it impossible to later rule out suicide in his apparent OD death. Because of Corey's frustration with the aforementioned atrocities, Corey is also known to engage in a little mild vigilantism, but he generally can't go too far for fear of being recognized. According to his band mates after his passing , Corey had, on one occasion, savagely attacked a local drunkard who was known for molesting his stepdaughter.
○ In short, he is not easily shocked, but the things he has seen still greatly (but quietly) sadden him. His band mates will allude to having gotten hints of Corey's depression from his topics of choice at times which include anything from child pornography to consensual homicide.
○ The important thing to take away from Corey's depression is the side-effect, his (often stupidly) reckless altruism. He seems to behave at times as though he believes that he is the right-hand man to a hero in a story not his own, that it is his lot in life to sacrifice himself for another--someone more valuable to the world than himself. He accepts this knowledge with a sad but proud sense of duty. Hiryuu, the presumed "other" in this relationship, looks up to Corey as a person to be admired, but this seems to provoke a secret shame in Corey, as though he feels guilt over not being a worthy role model for Hiryuu. He treats Hiryuu like a younger brother at times, though Hiryuu is several years his senior. The sibling dynamic stems mostly from Corey's extroverted personality as it compliments Hiryuu's social inexperience.
○ In the end, it seems like both boys know that Corey is somehow doomed, though neither quite understands how or why. Whether or not Corey's death is a self-fulfilling prophecy is a matter of deep philosophical pondering for Raen, who has strong reasons to suspect that Ixion's careless treatment of Corey's life force either deliberately forced an early cease in Corey's lifeline or that perhaps Corey's believing it made it so. Even speaking with the nephilim Corey post-mortem does not really answer any of Raen's questions, but it provokes him to engage in a personal study on similar human/nephilim cases. Did all relationships like Corey and Ixion's result in a similar, early death for the charge? Raen makes a point of noting that whether the charge became nephilim in the end may be of no consequence. Hiryuu may actually have found the topic intriguing, had the question not arisen out of the untimely suicide of his closest friend.
○ After the suicide, media coverage blows up. Axion Falls' second album, completed but still unreleased, is expected to make record sales. Costs for interviews with the remaining band members skyrockets.
§ Travis (lead guitar), on what bothered Corey the most: "It was just, a lot of times it would be morbid stuff that would come up in conversation. He would get this far-away look like he wanted to cry or punch something and generally that was conversation over. We could tell shit bothered him but it's like, what can you say to that? In five minutes he'd be back to being Corey so it was just like... there wasn't anything to know, we thought. He just wanted to save everybody but there's nothing you can do about sick people in the world."
§ Ben (drums), on signs that something was wrong: "I don't know. He would say he could never kill himself because it was selfish. He said 'it's one thing to do something stupid and get yourself killed, but it's just selfish, offing yourself like that'. And he was reckless, before this... He'd been in the hospital for accidents before, but he wasn't trying to get hurt. He never did. He didn't cut or anything. We all want to think 'we couldn't know, he couldn't do that'--that's what everyone wants to believe. So… I really don't know."
§ Ian (bass), on the reason why: "Like I said, he was happy about the band. Our shows were good. He didn't really like the attention sometimes but he seemed to deal with that really well. …I fucking hate that I'm saying this, but he seemed happier than ever. I know that's like textbook--but it's true. I don't think he would have done it on purpose. I don't think he was running from his life."
§ Rhiannon, Corey's only (rumored) ex-girlfriend, asked about her reaction: "I can't--Please back up. Please. It's raining, can you move so I can get to my damn car? Come on."
§ Corey and Hiryuu, during their first conversation after Corey's death:
□ Corey: "It's been messy, yeah? No quiet exit. One way or another, when you go, everybody's gonna know. But I didn't want to just disappear. I couldn't take away people's closure like that, make them waste time wondering about me."
□ Hiryuu: "Corey…"
□ Corey: "And I mean, how do you kill yourself and disappear?"
□ Hiryuu: "Please just stop--"
□ Corey: "It's just--it would have been hard either way. When you leave, you leave people behind; there's no way to just vanish. At the end of the day, you're still missing from people's lives. At the end of the day, if anyone knew you, you're just… gone."
□ Hiryuu: "It's been hard--for everyone. The fans… your band. Your dad."
□ Corey: "They'll get over it. Everyone dies, right?"
□ Hiryuu: "In theory."
□ Corey: (turning around and wearing the smallest of smirks.) "In theory."
Category Artwork (Traditional) / Doodle
Species Mammal (Other)
Size 400 x 403px
File Size 127.7 kB
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