“It’s a family thing. Everyone on my dad’s side of the family have something “off” about them that kicks in at some point after they’re born. It’s been like that for as long as any of us can remember. In my case, I’ve been able to blow myself up like this since I was about ten.


I mean, don’t get me wrong. Anyone can learn to inflate with a little practice and an air pump. I’ve never needed to practice, though. I can make this happen whenever I want; just swallow some air and off I go. Even then, a lot of the time it feels more like reflex than anything I consciously do. I tend to balloon up a lot whenever I’m nervous, angry, surprised, stuff like that. I’m like a furry pufferfish I guess.


As to the scientific reason that any of this works…


Well…


Um…


I’ve… never figured that out…


Seriously, how did I suddenly get so elastic out of nowhere? Why do I keep puffing up all the time? How am I floating right now!? I’ve been trying to figure this out for years, and it’s one thing I’ve never been able to make sense of. It’s a bit… Frustrating.


…


…These days, I just try not to think about it so much. In fact, I’m gonna go take my mind off it with a nice float. That always helps me lighten up.”

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