bluebell and her gf meredith before the former ate the later
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they talked about it for a long time
i wanna do actual content related to it but
meredith thinks individual life isn't very important
there are lots of other deer out there who've had lives like hers, who have her interests, her goals. even if she dies with her goals unfulfilled someone else will do them. nothing about her is special or unique, she's just another manifestation of a really common archetype that has millions of instances in the universe, so, like. why should she care if she throws her life away for some snuff play? there's others like her that will do whatever she could've done, it's no big deal
bluebell spent most of her slime life not really having an ego or sense of self, and when slimes eat other slimes they can gain their memories and personality, so identity was always something fluid and not very real/important to her, so she and meredith were able to bond over it a bunch
meredith gave bluebell a more solid sense of identity and bluebell brought out meredith's thoughts of ego-death
bluebell was kind of basically just a mimic before they met. she based her opinions and personality on the people she was around, and as those people changed she changed who she was to suit it. like, people wear different faces depending on their company, sure, but bluebell just switched out basically entire personalities and idealogies on the fly. it wasn't like she really believed or thought or ANY of those things, it was all mimicry and playing off the people in her environment. at her core she was honestly just an emotionless animal and as their relationship developed bluebell explained she kind of didn't really think she was even sentient, like, she basically thought she was a chinese room in effect
which, i mean, meredith was like, nah.
but a lot of who bluebell became was based off of responding to meredith. or, rather, since they spent a lot of time together, the personality/identity that was for interacting with meredith became a lot more complex and whole than the ones she used for, like, work, or whatever
meredith kept a journal for most of the time they were dating with the idea that since bluebell couldn't absorb her thoughts and memories (since she wasn't a slime), she could absorb it through a diary instead. bluebell's current identity was already heavily informed by meredith, and after merry was eaten bluebell started wearing her skeleton and with her diary took on a chunk of her identity
bluebell's own issue of "i don't honestly deep down believe in or mean any of the things i say" got sidesteped because so long as she uses meredith's personality and beliefs and stuff, that's someone she knows for sure existed, so it's a good place to be grounded when she needs to feel grounded (she still sheds the skeleton and does whatever sometimes too still though)
that's their relationship in a nutshell
i wanna do actual content related to it but
meredith thinks individual life isn't very important
there are lots of other deer out there who've had lives like hers, who have her interests, her goals. even if she dies with her goals unfulfilled someone else will do them. nothing about her is special or unique, she's just another manifestation of a really common archetype that has millions of instances in the universe, so, like. why should she care if she throws her life away for some snuff play? there's others like her that will do whatever she could've done, it's no big deal
bluebell spent most of her slime life not really having an ego or sense of self, and when slimes eat other slimes they can gain their memories and personality, so identity was always something fluid and not very real/important to her, so she and meredith were able to bond over it a bunch
meredith gave bluebell a more solid sense of identity and bluebell brought out meredith's thoughts of ego-death
bluebell was kind of basically just a mimic before they met. she based her opinions and personality on the people she was around, and as those people changed she changed who she was to suit it. like, people wear different faces depending on their company, sure, but bluebell just switched out basically entire personalities and idealogies on the fly. it wasn't like she really believed or thought or ANY of those things, it was all mimicry and playing off the people in her environment. at her core she was honestly just an emotionless animal and as their relationship developed bluebell explained she kind of didn't really think she was even sentient, like, she basically thought she was a chinese room in effect
which, i mean, meredith was like, nah.
but a lot of who bluebell became was based off of responding to meredith. or, rather, since they spent a lot of time together, the personality/identity that was for interacting with meredith became a lot more complex and whole than the ones she used for, like, work, or whatever
meredith kept a journal for most of the time they were dating with the idea that since bluebell couldn't absorb her thoughts and memories (since she wasn't a slime), she could absorb it through a diary instead. bluebell's current identity was already heavily informed by meredith, and after merry was eaten bluebell started wearing her skeleton and with her diary took on a chunk of her identity
bluebell's own issue of "i don't honestly deep down believe in or mean any of the things i say" got sidesteped because so long as she uses meredith's personality and beliefs and stuff, that's someone she knows for sure existed, so it's a good place to be grounded when she needs to feel grounded (she still sheds the skeleton and does whatever sometimes too still though)
that's their relationship in a nutshell
That seems like a pretty reasonable interpretation of a prey animal's outlook on life, like... if deer, or any other animal who's place in nature is to be food for something else - could tell us how they felt, it'd probably be something like this. Individuality not meaning so much, life just a circle that begins in nothingness and ends in nothingness. It's a little closer to a hive mentality i think. Less about one's self and more about the species as a whole, which will go on with or without her remaining a part of it.
yeah!
she takes it way too far to the point of "eh, i might as well die, that'd be fun" instead of... just using it as a way to deal with a death she couldn't escape
it's maybe not the HEALTHIEST way to take that train of thought, but she sure was happy with her life even as she was being eaten, so?!
she takes it way too far to the point of "eh, i might as well die, that'd be fun" instead of... just using it as a way to deal with a death she couldn't escape
it's maybe not the HEALTHIEST way to take that train of thought, but she sure was happy with her life even as she was being eaten, so?!
That's hot. You know how I feel about the 'life is common ergo life itself is not valuable' line of thought. Although I usually go in the 'life is not valuable and I deserve to be punished for instinctively believing that it is' direction. You know, also not healthy.
And dammit, Meredith looks so chipper here, I bet she looked that happy right up until the moment her face was digested. "And this is my girlfriend, Bluebell! She's going to eat me, and I love her!"
And dammit, Meredith looks so chipper here, I bet she looked that happy right up until the moment her face was digested. "And this is my girlfriend, Bluebell! She's going to eat me, and I love her!"
Yeah this is not something I am just learning about you haha
Meredith genuinely believed that it was only an illusion she wasn't able to experience the lives of all the other thousands of thousands of deer that were just like her
If she just found some magic secret, she could pull her consciousness back away from this one single instance of herself and see things from the eyes of the Platonic Form/Archetype she and all the other deer were living out. They're all the same person, basically. Who cares if one of them dies?
Bluebell tried to talk her out of it esp. as the relationship got super serious and Merry was just, like, "Look, if you don't kill me, we follow the same thing all married couples do, and fall into a routine and live the same day over and over, or something bad happens and we play out the farce of tragedy, but none of it matters. I've seen enough people's lives to know all the ways the story can go it's nothing interesting, I don't care. I want at least one unique, special thing in this iteration of our identity"
simultaneously completely devaluing herself and finding being eaten by her girlfriend the only way to actually give significance to it
Meredith genuinely believed that it was only an illusion she wasn't able to experience the lives of all the other thousands of thousands of deer that were just like her
If she just found some magic secret, she could pull her consciousness back away from this one single instance of herself and see things from the eyes of the Platonic Form/Archetype she and all the other deer were living out. They're all the same person, basically. Who cares if one of them dies?
Bluebell tried to talk her out of it esp. as the relationship got super serious and Merry was just, like, "Look, if you don't kill me, we follow the same thing all married couples do, and fall into a routine and live the same day over and over, or something bad happens and we play out the farce of tragedy, but none of it matters. I've seen enough people's lives to know all the ways the story can go it's nothing interesting, I don't care. I want at least one unique, special thing in this iteration of our identity"
simultaneously completely devaluing herself and finding being eaten by her girlfriend the only way to actually give significance to it
spoilers: in this metasetting meredith was literally correct, because of the way worlds and authorial lines work, and metaphorically her authorial metaline is now duped and looped in bluebell and has created bluebell as a metafiction so meredith literally did do it though
there are now thousands of bluebells that are connected by the same authorial line that is meredith
the thousands of bluebell weathers can now share information fungibly between one another in the same way people from the same world incidentally do through authorial lines but the bluebells have a ground level physical component for it instead
there's a reason she and tabrix hang out
its not to the same degree tabrix did it which was basically complete fictional freedom and agency, the bluebell system still works internally, but they're still drifts with looped authorial lines with vet gates and by definition metafictions even if they aren't metafictionally active just reactive
there are now thousands of bluebells that are connected by the same authorial line that is meredith
the thousands of bluebell weathers can now share information fungibly between one another in the same way people from the same world incidentally do through authorial lines but the bluebells have a ground level physical component for it instead
there's a reason she and tabrix hang out
its not to the same degree tabrix did it which was basically complete fictional freedom and agency, the bluebell system still works internally, but they're still drifts with looped authorial lines with vet gates and by definition metafictions even if they aren't metafictionally active just reactive
I'm so happy I found this right now - it resonates a lot with themes I've wanted to explore in art lately ... mostly themes of deer being eaten or mishandled for (mutual) pleasure, but also the idea of said deer not considering themselves much as individuals.
Really enjoyed this one.
Really enjoyed this one.
FA+

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