Why must you linger
After it’s been years
I thought you were gone
But you’re still here…

Many times have tried to forget
And move on and ignore everything
Deep to the core

But inside
You tear me down to the very ground
Every day…
No matter how much try to push you away

I know I’m not you
And I’m thankful for that
You’ve torn me to shreds every time you get the chance

Calling me a monster
Insulting my mind
Bringing me down to the level of your eyes

The ones that burn with hatred for human kind…

I am not like you…
Because I know what it’s like
To feel worthless
And thrown away
Given up on
And beaten to the ground

Your words do not mean anything
No matter how many times have tried to ignore them
But since the beginning of this year

I could feel past memories coming back more and more
Only to witness real life
Growing more and more into a nightmare
Even when I want to live life to the fullest

It’s hard when you’ve been locked away
From reality for so long
Only to come out and see, what the world has become

It makes you fight for your own world
A world that is full of peace
And solitude
Where there’s no meaning for violence
Or hatred
But love and care

Witnessing that’s not the truth…
The more you want to make it so

Many times you’ve ripped me apart
As I’ve tried to ignore the dangers of this world
To finally except what has become
To find that silver lining in the clouds
And feeling like I’m not alone

I will keep fighting you…
To put you in your place
You may rip my heart and mind away
But deep inside…
I’m much stronger than I used to be

At least I know what it’s like
To die and rise again
From the ashes of a broken body
To find a peace in the mind
And solitude in the heart

But I must keep fighting you
Even if that means one of us must fall
I’d rather it be you
Because deep inside
I’m not giving up
On a day to rest
So peacefully
I could feel the warmth of the sun
Instead of the tears from the clouds

By finding the balance
Of positive and negative
Instead of alternating almost daily

You can keep bringing me down
But I know it’s not true
Even if it hurts too much

Just to keep moving
You can keep saying these words:
“Not even god loves you”
“You’re scaring people”
“Go away…you’re not welcome here”
“You’re nothing but a monster to the society”
“Go back to your own grave and stop bothering the living”

You may think your keeping me grounded
But your words are shaking the very earth quake that you know
Will erupt into a volcano
Because I am the fire
That burns daily
To keep moving and pushing
You away

You think water can dry out a fire so easily?
You’ve never met my deepest desire…

And my own living determination
To keep moving forward
In believing that life
Will always have better days
Because even though it’s cloudy now
Doesn’t mean it’ll be so for very long

The further you keep pushing
The further you will get
To your own will to live

Regardless what your inner demons mock you about
Because deep inside
I am stronger than you…