When I was at MFF this year I was really looking forward to the drawing panels, unfortunately they were a big disappointment. But I stuck it out anyways and learned a few things. Like how bodies and body parts are all just shapes and need to fit together. I don’t really understand it all that well, the artist teaching us didn’t have all their right equipment and it hindered the demonstration greatly. I didn’t feel like the actual drawing demonstrations were helpful because it wasn’t really explained how it all worked.

I did my best with what I could and tried to follow along, but no matter what I did I couldn’t get my drawings to look like how the artist was explaining to make them. I got some sketches and not others. It wasn’t a good teaching kind of panel like how I expected it was a glossed over type panel.

The artist was still able to make really nice heads and paws and wings and limbs all one sharpie stroke at a time, and I couldn’t seem to do it the same. Looking around me at other people’s sketchbooks was a bad idea because they all were terrific personalized styles of the demonstrated sketches. I felt like a wasted joke. Instead of getting me excited to draw, I was becoming very discouraged. I held my clip board close to me was closing down. My confidence was wounded and I felt very vulnerable, exposed and anxious. I stayed though and I kept going, through the unease.
I still can vividly recollect how I felt, the tingles and pangs in all the same places in my chest cavity, but looking back on the experience now I am glad I stayed and fought for it. Sometimes we have to be uncomfortable to find out comfortable.

I am still disappointed by the experience I had with this drawing panel, but grateful for the encouragement of my friends, because at the end of the day, that is what makes me feel better than some drawing.