Interesting little story you have there and it is another good 'slice of life' chapter for Tux and his family. I was, however, a bit confused over the claws. Were his claws too long or not? His mother was sure he wasn't neglecting his claws but then how many times have children not done what they were supposed to do? If she knew absolutely for sure how long his claws were and they were within the rules , I would have expected her to be far more indignant and outraged but that's just me.

I think the second half could use a little more spark myself. I think you missed an opportunity to tie the two parts together by using the principal as an example of a bully and instead of his mother hitting her like Tux did his bully, she verbally slam dunks the woman in such a way the principal wished she had simply hit her. A sort of lead by example sort of thing where words could be far more effective. A wound will heal in a week or two but a few words used well can affect someone the rest of their life.

I think a self defense class for someone who everyone thinks is a dangerous animal wouldn't help things. Not only is he stronger with quick reflexes and fangs, he also knows karate? I think he would be better served by having him watch old Perry Mason episodes and joining the debating team. :P

*chuckles over Perry Mason...

ok... first - Wire I loved it. You know I am very attached to Tux. Very well written and a very good calming effect for my soul.

second - the self-defense class. I would absolutely agree with this, though finding the right teacher and the right ....oooooo - what's the word???? All fighting styles are not equal in what the accomplish and how they accomplish it, though the goals are (broadly) the same. Learning what to watch for is as important as learning your counter measures.

For instance: avoidance is rule number one in the base methods of survival. The cave dweller learned early on that to run headlong into a cave simply because he had fire on a stick might mean death to the jaws of a hungry animal. There are so many sayings encompassing this thought. "The proud fall hard" comes to mind.

In Tux's case, I think he would be a prime candidate for the 'thoughtful monk' type.

*hugs...

V.

It's not that I don't think a self defense course would not be good for Tux, far from it. I'm just thinking of the police report if something does go wrong and he has no choice but defend himself in a fight. No matter the outcome, he is stronger, faster and sharper already then add to that a martial art? Basically the principle x 10 but with a gun on his hip, mirrored sunglasses and a goofy hat.

It's just a thought really, not a criticism

*chuckles and gives him a hug...

we do care don't we????

V.

I'm happy you enjoyed it, Ms. V. As much happiness as you give us, I'm glad I can help repay you in some small way.

And I think you're right about needing the correct style of martial art for Tux and Suzelle. One that is geared for deflecting attacks and turning the opponent's energies against himself would be ideal. I will have to do some research on the topic if I decide to follow up on that particular aspect. Which on reflection, might be a good idea. It really does fit in with where I want him to go, ultimately.

On thinking about it, I would want Tux to eventually have a David Carridine "Kung Fu" mentality. Walk in peace, seek to avoid violence and turn any violence aimed at you back at your attacker. The fact that he's genetically designed for combat simply means he can pull such self-defense moves off with less effort and more effectiveness IF he learns the lessons of self control and self discipline first, as TShaw mentioned.

Which he probably would. =)

As for the scene in the office, I didn't want the dialogue to come off sounding like Melissa had studied her lines in preperation for the conference. In real life, when these unexpected verbal battles come up, not everyone is prepared with devistating zingers. That's why she stopped with the remark about finding a lawyer. That's about as effective a remark as you can make before an argument becomes a physical contest.

By the way, about the claws... I specifically didn't mention how long they were because I wanted to show Melissa's trust in Tux firming up after finding out he'd had them lopped off. That may not be terribly logical, but then we're talking about a mother finding her child had been roughly treated by a school nurse.

I mentioned the torn shirt on Jerry Pendleton without going into how it got torn because most folks who have cats and trim their claws can attest to how a happy cat can knead your shirt and still work those claws into the fabric. I figured with enough speed behind them, even blunt claws could catch a hem or buttonhole and cause a tear. I just didn't want to get into a big CSI scene where someone started measuring the claw trimmings the nurse brought in and looking at how much force it would take to injure someone with them.

I think the second half cooled a bit too but for what its worth it was done appropriately. The first half would naturally get a reader’s temper up to the point of wanting to see everyone in the ‘fiss bloodied real good. In getting to the second half the reader’s emotions have cooled enough to be able to subtly impart the moral lesson to Tux and Suzelle. Its always difficult to have an emotional climax in the first part of the story and maintain interest to the end yet I think our crafty wolf managed it well.

Also, it may not be common knowledge but most self defense courses for kids teach restraint and self discipline first.

*sticks her tongue out at the little Cat - just because...

V.

Puts a jalapeño on said tongue and waits for the reaction

ooooo... I like jalapenos... actually - the day before yesterday - I had a meatball sub and had them load it with the darned things...

now then... habeneros - way too hot.

V.

Thank you, I'm glad to know I didn't miss the mark too badly. I was trying to avoid the 'After School Special' feel that would water down Melissa's message. At the same time, I needed her to really make the point that Tux and Suzelle really ARE physically capable of doing the harm that others are worried about. And your point about defense courses for kids is well taken. I think you have in fact just given me a tool to tie in to the second half of this story that I had to cut.

Wow.

Yeah. Oh, man. This is really going to work well.

Thanks!

*starts scribbling notes*

I’m ecstatic my simple comment gave even the slightest bit of inspiration for another Tux story. Now I’m really looking forward to the next little chapter in the little guys life.

Tshaw nailed it on the self defense course. More then attack, a good instructor will teach restraint or how to avoid a situation rather then fight it out. And the idea of a genemorph self defense or martial arts class is very intriguing. I hope you get to that in later episodes.

The first part was great, and it reminded me of a situation my mom told me once about an altercation she had with a teacher over someone picking on my brother. Very well done, and it really got me fired up.

The second half did lose a little something, but I wonder if could be something as simple as needing a change in point of view. Switching to the mother's perspective, I don't know. Never mind. Scratch that.

I still really enjoyed this, and I'm glad to see you and Tux back.

Thank you, and I'm glad you liked it. I think you're right, the second half didn't have quite the emotional impact the first half did, and that bothered me. I couldn't see any way to really fix it, though. I'd been working on it for more than a month, on and off, and finally decided to let it go like it was.

I disagree with all of my esteemed colleagues above about the second half of the story. The whole story is all the more real (in my personal opinion and personal experience) because of the perceived stress and drama at the school and the more solemn and reflective attitude that occurred at home. Mother is being perfectly right in explaining everything in such a thoughtful and calm way. I would love to be a child in that situation -- not one where the entire aftermath was blown up and out. Fortunately for me, I was gifted with family just like Melissa.
As much as I love the rest of the gang and their comments, the whole damn lot of 'em are wrong. Just this once. :)

Well, thank you for your support. It's much appreciated. And while I'm at it, thank you for the fav, too.
But I think that as far as story structure goes, the problem is one of tempo and rhythm. There really needs to be a third act to complete the story, but as I said I'd been working on it for too long and I wanted it out so I could move on.

I'm still working on the next part, by the way. I think you'll be pleased. =)

Sometimes, just having other kids know you've gone to self-defense classes does wonders. I'll never forget the look on this kid's face when he saw me on a 4th of July parade float dressed in the white uniform and holding boards that my little sister was kicking and punching through.

Yeah, I can imagine that would be quite a deterrent. =)