To have a more loving heart, you need a less calculating mind. The ego is a structure that is imposed on you by your education and by judgements of authorities, that's why the ego is always a judge and a calculator. The more strict your education, the more ego you have most likely. But these thoughts are not yours, they are just imposed. Just watch them, but don't identify with them. Without these thoughts, there is only love. The ego is just a tool, but it shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Surrendering the ego ("me") and transforming to spirit ("we") is the practice of self mastery:

Ego: Competetive -> Spirit: Cooperative
Ego: Judgemental -> Spirit: Accepting
Ego: Blaming -> Spirit: Understanding and forgiving
Ego: Projecting expectations on others -> Spirit: Letting go
Ego: Love depends on conditions -> Spirit: Unconditional love
Ego: Need to prove worth -> Spirit: Worthy just for being oneself
Ego: Pride -> Spirit: Humility
Ego: Feeling of superiority or inferiority to others -> Spirit: Everyone is equal
Ego: Needing attention and validation of others -> Spirit: Trust in one's own self
Ego: Victim of one's circumstances -> Spirit: Creating one's own reality
Ego: Focused on future or past -> Spirit: Focused on present
Ego: Consuming and greedy -> Spirit: Content
Ego: Taking life seriously -> Spirit: Having a sense of humor
Ego: Taking things personally and being defensive -> Spirit: Open and vulnerable
Ego: Ignorant -> Spirit: Truthful
Ego: Trying to figure things out -> Spirit: Living up to one's intuition
Ego: Afraid of feelings and depth -> Spirit: Surrender to one's feelings
Ego: Existence is ordinary -> Spirit: Existence is a miracle
Ego: I am my thoughts -> Spirit: My thoughts are only a part of me
Ego: Social mask -> Spirit: Authentic