Be it personal or in the fiction- I can relate. Even while I crave egoboo for my work, any direct effusive praise makes me cringe, my lack of self-worth makes me suspicious, what do they want, why do they lie?

Oh, It's a bit of both really. Fiction has a way of finding it's way out into reality, and so forth. They say that experience is the greatest of teachers, however it can also grind a certain perception. For some of us, we feel that things as kindness and notice is another form of manipulation, for how could we be admired for ourselves and not our craft?

stay strong, my friend. There are particular perceptive fictions that need only remain so.

Take care and have fun. I've been enjoying your delightfully different art and thoughtful writing, and even some of the music you use.

Self-fulfilling prophecies are a mofo.