Well executed. The beginning was very vivid with great flow and tempo - I was picturing that 300-esq kind of stylized fight scene. The end was nice, and was an intriguing contrast to the fight in the beginning. It was a touch brutal (especially for the males among us), but the latter half balanced it out well.

Thanks, I was going for brutal as that's the best way to describe most circumstances that involve damage to the crotch.

I hear that.

This is the best standalone story I have read in ages. Straight to the action start, numerous twist, good, even if black, humor... Yes, it was a good reading experience. Nothing much to say beside that I liked this a lot, the story really caught me and now I have very little to say. A marvelous piece of written art, I truly enjoyed reading this. Good work.

Thanks very much. I plan on submitting this story for a creative writing class I'm hoping to get into, (after a little editing to take out the confusing furry element to regular folks). It's good to hear such affirmation.

Thanks very much. It's good to know when I'm doing certain things well in a story.

Well written, and the description was just enough to set the scene quite well. The harsh imagery fits the situation - fights and injuries ARE harsh, and pain isn't something that everyone can shake off. I like the fact that once down, the poor guy stays down. That's reality. This pleasantly surprised me, not going where I thought it was going at all, at each turn from Amy slapping him and walking out, to his hanging around, paying the bill, and the bull's phone call at the end. And Jeremy's reactions were very believable, nicely handled.

Telling a story in the first person is hard, but through hints, you managed to show the protagonist's species as well, which was nicely done. (Unless there's a way for disparate species to be related in this world, which could be the case, there's no real telling from a snippet.) We never get a clear look at Amy, though. Even something about the color of her hair catching the light or a mention of a small bit of description would replace the formless void that is Amy in the reader's mind. For someone the protagonist cares so much about, she's not given a lot of attention, and thematically, that means she's not really all that important.

One typo I noticed: "spaces during the pain <b>the</b> slowed"

All in all, a good story, and good writing. You'll do well in creative writing.

Thanks for the comments. I'm curious to hear what you thought the protagonist's species was, as I tried to leave it intentionally unclear. The same with Amy. The idea is that they both represent the traditional heterosexual relationship archetype, meaning that species was merely something that didn't play into the equation. I almost did this with the bull, but that proved difficult and not entirely necessary.

I thought Jeremy's species was also a bovine of some sort, but only because of the question asked at the hospital - whether he was related to the victim. While obviously, there's the possibility of relation by other than blood, in a world of differing species, the question (though standard in that situation, I know) immediately led me to think he perhaps resembled the bull at least superficially.

Ah, I didn't take that into account, actually. I added that in because it seemed like a fairly common question. I'll have to be more careful about what I put in as dialogue. Thanks.