A short story I wrote with the idea being a different take on the story of the 3 pigs. Kind of came up with it randomly. Hope you all enjoy it.

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Animals can speak? Now that’s just crazy talk, but what if I told you in another place that it was possible? This place is not unlike our own, yet still different. The sky is a vibrant yellow like a lemon, with clouds presumably made of cotton candy, and icy blue sun. This may sound farfetched, but it is most certainly the gospel truth. In fact you would even be more surprised to find that their rivers and oceans run with water that is somehow flavored; how that is even possible I don’t know, but trust it is nothing but the truth. Enough about the how strange the environment is, it was the animals that you were probably curious about, after all I did say they could talk. They speak just as well as we do if not better, and even have varying accents very much like our own. There was however a very peculiar group of animals that I witnessed last I was there. This group consisted of three chiseled pigs, with muscles that could make any man jealous and any woman swoon. They were triplets named Porky, Chiqaun, and Hamenstein, a very strange pair of names that is to be sure. Chiquan was considered the defacto leader of the trio, being the mastermind behind all of their schemes, Porky was the typical dimwitted brother who while not entire stupid, clearly had a few screws lose, and Hamenstein was the most cultured of the group being the one most into the arts. Despite their differences, each of them were easily as mean as the other, and they relished in bullying those smaller than them as a past time.

There was one victim in particular they decided to torment one day, although they would soon come to regret it. Their victim was gray wolf named C.J. His actual name was Clayton, although no one truly addressed him as such. C.J was not tall nor short, but just right. His physique was deceptively fit, although nowhere near as chisled as the Swine Bros. Now C.J had recently moved to the town of Brillo, a small little town in this ever so peculiar place. Compared to some of the other folk he had not purchased a house, but had decided to build one of his own using raw materials in order to save himself expenses in the long wrong. He built his home in the very back of the town atop a hill. While it wasn’t strange to have homes made of raw materials, C.J was the only one who had decided to build a home out of complete straw that he had collected from his neighbors whom had no real use for it. It had not taken long for him to build his home and move in his belongings, but of course with the Swine Bros he would quickly find himself to find quite a few run-ins with them. The first of these encounters was not even a month after he had moved in. The Swine Bros decided to pay him a “visit” while he was napping. Chiquan leered at him from one of the windows and said, “Yo wake you wolf boy, why don’t you ever invite us inside?”

C.J was immediately stirred awake and stared blankly at Chiquan. It took him a moment to realize what was going on but when he did he answered, “Eh?” He continued to stare at Chiquan with a dull expression upon his face. “What do you want?” He asked, curious about why he and his brothers showed up at his home unannounced.
One of the veins in Chiquan’s head inflated like a balloon showing his annoyance, “Don’t you know you’re supposed to invite we, the Swine Bros to your home when you’re new in town?!” He screamed.

His brothers Porky and Hamenstein chimed in, “Yeah, what’s that about?!” The two of them said in unison, glaring at C.J from one of the other windows. It was pretty clear the Swine Bros wanted nothing but trouble, but C.J didn’t really want to deal with their nonsense.
“Go away, I’m trying to sleep.” He told them resting his head back down on his straw pillow, and slowly began to dose off once more.
“Oh so that’s how you wanna play it? You know what to do boys.” Chiquan said as he cracked his knuckles.
His brothers both nodded in agreement, and suddenly C.J felt a suddenly rumbling. His entire house was shaking, and it wasn’t until it was too late that he realized what was going on. The Swine bros had begun to literally tear straw away from the house until the house eventually collapsed in on C.J, the swine brothers chuckling sinisterly as they had destroyed his home.

C.J was clearly upset by this, but he didn’t think it was worth the effort of attempting to get back at them. He simply let them have their way and burrowed his way out of the straw after they had left. He disposed of the straw and decided that he would build yet another home, but this time using leaves and wood. He spent the next few days collecting and building his new home, and was elated at how the new home had turned out. It was larger than his first home having a second for extra things, although he spent the majority of his time on the first floor.

Two weeks had passed since his previous run in with the Swine Bros, and much to his dismay, C.J once again was harassed by the brothers. Once again they came t.o his now newly built home. This time however, it was Porky who initiated the conversion, “Uh, soooo r u going lettuce heng?” He asked, slurring his words, and making it a little difficult to understand what he meant, although C.J still managed.

“Yeah no.” C.J retorted. “After what you guys did last time, why in hell would I invite you to my abode, let alone let you come inside. Why don’t you learn some damn etiquette and maybe people would actually be more receptive to you? You’re just a bunch of bullies, and I have no time for such low-lives.”
Hamenstein raised his brow at C.J’s remarks, “So you believe you can simply speak to us just anyway you please? I don’t think you realize that there are three of us and only one of you, so why don’t you just let us in, and give us some food while you’re at it, pig’s gotta eat.” He said making a typical snorting sound.
“Go away please.” C.J commanded. He wanted to stand firm, but not have to resort to unnecessary violence, and hoped they would simply leave him be if he showed that he was not afraid of them. This however did not go over well as Chiquan decided to kick the door down, not that it was hard with his house being made out of leaves and wood.

Chiquan was quick to grab C.J by his collar and glare menacingly, “Clearly ain’t very bright.” He said as he tossed C.J outside of his own home. “Demolishion time boys!” He yelled as he and his two brothers proceeded to trash C.J’s new home, just as they had done his first form, bringing down to nothing but rubble of twigs. In the process of doing so they also swiped a jar that was filled with coins in it. With that in hand the brothers once again left once again, kicking dirt in C.J’s face and snickering at his misfortune.

At this point C.J was infuriated, and had decided that he would build yet another home for himself, but he knew that they clearly would not listen to reason, with words not being effective. It was at this moment he decided if they dared to disturb him again that it would be the LAST time.
Once again C.J collected his belongings from the debris, somehow nothing being too badly damaged. He disposed of the remains of his second home, and this time decided that he would build yet another home, but this time with something more substantial. He left town to go collect cement and stone. He figured no matter how strong the Swine Bros thought they were, the would not be able to destroy a house made of stone nearly as easily as one made of straw or wood.

Having collected all that he needed he began building his house yet again. It took longer than the last two, but he was ecstatic about how it turned out compared to the last two. In fact he modeled it almost similarly to a fortress, simply because by design he found fortresses to be fascinating. Once he completed he moved his stuff in, but this time he said outside by the front door and simply waited, he knew that they would likely come again to bother him, and this time he was going to deal with them.

Following the day after he built this new home, as he had suspected the Swine Bros once again came to harass him, “So I see you expanded.” Chiquan said. “So are you going to let us in this time, or are we going to have to just beat you senseless?” He asked cracking waiting for C.J to say no.

C.J simply stared at him and said, “I’m tired of you three, you want to beat me senseless? Well come and get some.” C.J glared at Chiquan and his brothers, although they simply scoffed at him.

The Swine Brothers quickly surrounded C.J, intent on beating him to senseless. Following this, what happened afterward was the exact opposite of that. While they had thought he would be easy pickings, C.J proved to be a competent fighter and very quickly dealt with them, his front porch stained red. Now you may ask yourself what exactly happened to the Swine Bros in that moment, well none of the other townsfolk seem to know what exactly occurred in great detail, but they did notice that that the Swine Brothers were most certainly not around anymore. Although guests that would visit C.J’s home would always comment on delicious meals usually consisting of ham, chitlins, or pork, among other clearly pig based foods. The Swine Bros may not be around anymore, but they finally got what they wanted, just not the way they had ever had thought.